Crying In The Morning

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I am currently so upset. That I don't know what to do.
I have never cried so hard in the last ten years then I have this morning.
Spent the last hour( 5am - 6am ) crying my eyes out. I spent the last thirty minutes calming myself down from hyperventilating as I was crying SO hard. In the back of my mind I was thinking who I should call to console me, but the only person that I really want to call to tell them just how I feel. I can't.

It has been officially a week that me and trev has been on break.
None of his friends know.

Due to the break, I missed the last game of the my roller hockey team ( Which they won the division championship. ) And I don't know why but this hurt me more than anything he has ever done to me. Asking for the break during this time. I feel as though missing the final game has made me lose another part of me and time that I cannot get back. I hate this feeling.

I cried liked I was 15 years old and my first love just dumped me.
I feel like I hate him, but I don't.
I just wished I didn't feel this way.
I don't know what to do.

I want to go for a run and just keep going till this feeling goes away, But I can't.

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