Tuesday, October 06, 2009

The Sweetest Things

Lets just wrap up for the day.
I did so many things today on my TO DO list for today. I sent off the logo to Sean, Made my filming list, I emailed cousin Jonny the filming list, Vacuumed, Steam cleaned my carpet, Mopped the house, Did the Laundry, Emailed and Deleted photos.

Well enough with the summary of boring things but I just want to talk about the sweetest things. There are always going to be a series or events that happen and are meant to happen in peoples lives, whether you see this or not is all on perception and realization. Through these events we grow, we love, we cherish the memories and moments that were created. Sometimes we regret ( I hate that word ) but I live trying not to regret a lot in my life. Most of all we learn to forgive. In the last couple months, I've learned to let go of certain beliefs. Ideas that were mere lies to myself. I've opened up in more ways than one, I am literally trying to come out of a shell. I thought I did this years ago but that was merely one stage of emergence. I don't know what stage I am now but I know the way I want to live by. I currently exude positivity. I feel it as though it's radiating from my skin and this sensation I have in my heart I truly feel that others should feel this as well. It's happiness at neutrality. I am not overly happy. I'm not sad.

I've come to forgive and let go of a series of events that has happened since the split that has caused me a lot of hurt. I knew coming out of the last relationship would be one of the hardest things to do since it was a estimate of an 8.5 year relationship. Right now in my life, even the short time since I last came in contact with the X, I've changed. Little as a day, a week, a month it can change someone's life. I want nothing but the best for him now and I truly mean that. Just as long as he is happy then I'll be glad.

Am I in Love?  I'm feeling something I can't even describe in my life right now cause I've never really felt this before... either that or I haven't felt this way in a long time. All I know is that it feels more right than anything else. I feel no hesitations. I'm ready more than ever to go on my trip to Toronto, to check out the art and design scene there. Not only that but to grow, live and love there. I am also taking in much consideration into perhaps moving there, in all honesty, there isn't very much holding me here in Vancouver anymore. I do have obligations here still, but what I'm trying to build and established is very flexible. What I do I can do from any city in the country, given that they have internet access.
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