Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Heart Torn

I had a rough night of sleep. Letting the dog in and out of my room in the middle of the night. Not Cool. I took the day off today to rest off the tiredness I've been feeling the last couple of days and a turn of events yesterday night created a heart torn of emotions. All I can really say is Love is a tough tough thing. I wonder why God just can't show you and say. This is who you should be with. Try love with, follow your desires with heart. A confession and question can stir so many unknown emotions and thoughts that now fill my mind. I am smart enough to know that it takes two people to love one another. One sided emotions don't go anywhere. I realized last night that I may have fallen in love. The want to be with him is hard, I pull my emotions back from him because I can't love him entirely just yet, but the fact that I've fallen can't be denied. Perhaps it's the thought that he embodies so much of what it is I need and look for in a guy. But he seems in my perspective that he's so comfortable with the fact of being, as in with himself and by himself I start to wonder if he needs me. As much as I would love to love him. I want and need to be with someone that needs and wants to be with me. I know this, this is how love should be. But love is understanding, resilient and also molds itself through time as well. I know Love embodies different ways, hows and knows. ( Those who have loved, understand it will know what my last line means ) The way I love is .. if I love enough, I know I can let go for the sake of their happiness. Cause love should have no boundaries. Who am I to hold anyone back from their happiness. I love them so much that I want that for them cause that's just who I am and always will be. The more I come to build on who I'm striving to be I realize I have a lot of love in me, I need someone on the receiving end.
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