Sunday, January 10, 2010

Zenning Out

This afternoon I weighed in at 110 pounds. after a series of 3 - 1 hour work outs. my abs hurt. I can see it in my face and my body, the slimming and weight loss of 5 pounds. ( I didn't even do much to lose the 5 pounds ). I look at me now once and a while and I wonder who I'm looking at. I still have the tummy pudgy. I guess I have to start doing straight stomach crunches now cause I really would like to live without this tummy fat for once in my life.

I'm over at my sister's place. Ethan is so adorable, but he doesn't do anything but sleep! well cause he's a newborn and that's what newborns do. They sleep. He's in my arms for a while. As I sit on the couch. As I move him to his room. I go sit on the rocking chair with him in my arms. He's so beautiful. I sing to him making up a song. when I stop he squirms a little and starts making a little baby noise so I continue to sing a song as I make it up along the way. He seems to find it comforting. I start to tear up and feel tears coming down my face. I'm not sobbing just tears. I'm thinking of IT again. I wonder what he's going to look like when he's older. Is he going to look like what I saw him to be in my dream once. He ran up to me and hugged my legs and looked up at me. That's how I was so sure it was a boy. A miniature version of his father with large eyes a big round head and me and my sister's nose.

Joey runs up as I just sit and pet him for a while. I give him a puppy massage around his tense neck area. He calmly lays down to say by me as I massage on for a bit and I stop and she rests at my feet a little.

Feeling very tired tonight. I think it's early bed time for me.
I hope Jon gets great sleep tonight, he's emotionally tired out :( .
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