Saturday, May 22, 2010

Dinner, Movie and The Hospital

I'm happy as I continue to read, The monk who sold his Ferrari. The series of events in my life that has happened and are happening, and the choices I've made on how to deal with them ( always with my mind and heart ) seem now only right to have and continue to follow it.

This morning on my way to work, the strangest morning sprinkles happened as the were clouds clearing above me showing an almost clear blue sky. It was a beautiful blue - sprinkling morning sky. My logic can only come up with the fact that the clouds may have been heated up and are dispersing by the sun's rays causing it's moisture to sprinkle down. Then my heart makes up a story that this is God wishing me well this morning. Did you know in some cultures, rain is a symbol of good luck?

Work Was Work. However it was, stressful trying to plug-in content for a new site we are working on. And fixing up a migration of another while learning what it is I have to do.

I actually had a date tonight. At first I was okay with the idea. Then nervousness comes into play after a while just a few hours before my date. He picks me up from the front of my building at work. I cross the street to meet him and we greet one another with a hug. We ate dinner at Earls downtown and we sat and chatted about random things. Travels, life, plans. We went to go watch Iron Man 2 at the theaters. ( Good Movie ) .. before the movie started .. I noticed something in the theater that people seem to like to space themselves a person away from strangers next to them. I have to admit that I am one of these people. But this gesture to make ourselves comfortable, brings a certain misfortune to those who come as a couple to the theater. As seating becomes less and less available, the only ones that are - are singles. So this couple that has come to enjoy a movie together may end up having to separate if they ever found the seating to be scarce. A girl and her boyfriend come and find seats that are separated at the opposite sides of me and my date. Since noticing this seating misfortune that happens often in the theaters, I asked if she wanted to sit with her friend to enjoy the movie... I said that I would gladly swap seats with him. This thus allows me to still be next to my date and her next to hers. This one gesture brings nothing but a logical and positive outcome to me and I was happy to give up my seat. My date leans in towards me after I move, to say that it was very considerate of me. I smile back to him as a response but the truth is - It simply made sense and in my heart it was the right thing to do. At the end of the movie he calls his missed calls. As we're leaving he informs me his friend is in the hospital and thinks he may have broken his arm. He advises me as we're leaving that he'll drop me off at home and go see his friend. His car ( a modified racer ) does a little thing for me. Good vibrations... ( I joked about this ) but what I really mean is that, she actually soothes me a bit, maybe I enjoy the purr she gives off, or the sounds she gives off as she changes gears, or the small vibrations she gives that seems to ease the back pain I'm currently having due to my 'time of the month'. But I cringe when she scrapes her bottom. On the highway my date confesses he's really worried about his friend. Me being me - thought, 'I would be too if it was my friend.' I suggest to him, that it was alright if we go and see his friend before having to drop me off, just to make sure his friend is alright. He looks at me and asks to make sure I was quite alright with this decision. I was - it was on the way home and because my heart tells me... it's the right thing to do. We walk into the emergency room and I follow him. He knows his way around because.. well... he works there. He suggests it maybe a better for me to wait out front as he goes on for his search. I smile back and agree. I walk out front and sit by the entrance double doors. My friend texts me and I chat with him for a bit. I text my date to ask if his friend was alright and if he had found him. A few minutes later he shows up with two of his friends behind him ( one had came to the aid of hurt one ). The first thing I noticed is that his friend didn't have a cast ( which is a good sign ) and I asked if he was alright. Turns out he just bruised it really badly. We head out the doors and go our separate ways. My date was a perfect gentleman in the sense that he held the door for me as I got into his car, or where ever it is we went. He did so as we got to his car at the hospital parking lot. His friends waited a while to see us off, wanting to see my date peel out as we exit the parking lot, I flashed a smile and waved goodbye to them as we drove off. Due to special reasons, I had to re-direct my date a different route to drop me home, cause his car was too low to go the regular way. For the good of her, I was glad to :) He stops in front my house and I asked if I got to get a goodbye hug. You see this is one now ( on dates ) I would ask of the date to give a hug out side of the car. Because there ... it's more real. He gives me a great hug, but not only that... I smile as I am at my front door because ... at the corner of my eye I see him wait for me to enter the house before driving off.

I was a little unsure of going on this date to be honest. I thought in my heart I wasn't over the last guy I was seeing. I had still missed him and thought about him. But deep in my heart and mind... I know I can't simply wait on someone that gives me no reason to. There is no reason to want to be with someone, who doesn't seem like they want to be with you. I am wise enough to admit that I don't believe I'm ready to fully commit to a relationship. But I'm also smart enough to say that it takes time to build one, especially one that lasts. I'm not a young female ... if I want to be build a relationship that is meaningful, it takes time... it may take a long time to build it to the point where I may be ready to commit fully to something more. The kind of love I have yet to know and experience. I am open to the possibilities of love because I have not lost faith in it. I've forgiven so many now including myself, but truly, there is nothing to be sorry of - or afraid of because love is one of life's greatest lessons. One I will always continue to learn upon and grow.
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