Monday, May 24, 2010

Why Letting Go Is Needed

I've learned something from past relationships. And that is to love harder.
I've had my share of failed relationships. Guys who have cheated on me, tried to force themselves on me, dumped me. Disappointed me. I've learned to let this go. I few months a go I may not have ... but I have now. New relationships I step into... I should not bring this presumption of failure along with it. All guys are different. Though I am trying to solve my equation of great love. Not all love experiences come out with the same outcome. Because the elements in the equation are different. Your formula for love in your past failed relationship could have been. A+B=C . But if you fall into a new relationship, do not believe that A+D=C. Because when you assume that the outcome will be the same as the last failed relationship, you naturally unknowingly place up a wall. The relationship has already failed before the ending has reached it's final destination point. It failed because you had foreseen it and ultimately set it up for failure. A+D can not = C because A+B=C. D is not B. They are not the same letters, they don't hold the same meaning, they don't hold the same value. Let go of the presumption that your formula will equal to C because your formula changed when D replaced B. The conclusion to your formula is different because the elements that make up the equation is different.

Yes I'm using letters to represent people.
A = You . B = significant other 1. C = first failed relationship.
D = new significant other.

Here is what I realized I must do to have the ability to step into any relationship.
That is to forget the formula. Walk in like you've never loved someone, never had your heart broken, never had someone love you. It is only then I will appreciate them fully, feel tremendously loved by them. And if you love like you've never had your heart broken, there will be no doubt and baggage from the past.

I know it is a hard thing to do. To let go of hurt is hard. The heart remembers, but the heart also forgives. If you are receptive enough, if your heart is loving with eyes wide open and ears unplugged. It will naturally notice one love from a girl / boy is different from another girl / boy. It is wrong to presume the love outcome will be the same because love from one being will never be the same from another because we are all different. Thus leading the relationship to be different. Situations that arise may be the same but the outcome of theses will ultimately be different.

I've now learned not to be afraid to love. Because ... if I do and I let past experiences scare me. It may cloud my vision and unravel a relationship that had potential. I may never realize that the person that stood in front of my eyes who was wanting to love me was actually the love of my life.

I've felt the heat of what past X-girlfriends and the scars they have left upon men. Especially when I come into dating one. I want to say this to them.

I am not her. See OUR outcome differently because I am different. I will love you differently and hopefully...Much greater than she did.
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