Get Use To It

There are a few things that make me feel a bit uncomfortable when I am with Ry, but somethings I just have to get used to. There's him looking at really really attractive girls online. See I can't do that cause I don't know a lot of really really attractive guys in my social circle, nor do I particularly follow Good looking guys in anything. Or at least super good-looking. Makes me feel a bit... Not up to his standards. These girls he looks at are model material and I just feel...am I not good enough. Well even though I am striving for some of their figures... I just feel maybe I'm just not attractive enough to lure his eyes away from others. Or do guys do this regardless how good looking their current girlfriend is? I don't know, maybe I'm being paranoid, but I know I wouldn't be one of those girls that checks out other guys online and randomly ask once and a while... Hey babes, do you think this guy is hot?  I'm not going to lie... I do check out guys when I'm not with my bf, okay maybe sometimes I do. But I never give enough attention to care too much, it's always a glance. One of my personal pet peeves is if a boyfriend is with his girlfriend and he is obviously checking me out. See I don't know a lot of guys in this city. A few people may recognize my face and that's what I usually come to think now... They might just recognize me but can't put their finger on where it is they've seen me. If you're with your girl. Be with your girl. If you're with your boy, be with your boy.


Oh, another thing i need to get used to... The other day Ry suggested on setting up a BBQ perhaps at the beach before the summer ends and perhaps invite some of my friends. Awesome idea! But the suggestion throws me off! Why? The last time a boyfriend suggested such a thing was more than ten years ago. And it wasn't even with the last serious relationship I was in. It was weird - to be honest. I really feel now everything - even though it's not new to me - now is new to me like I'm rediscovering them. My new revelations have led me to let go a lot of the things of the past. What I realized is that as important as the past was - it's not as important as what's happening right now. The only thing I really care about the past about people is that it's shaped them into people who I have absolutely come to love today. The relationships I've been in were not the best but I celebrate the heartbreaks because without them I would not know what kind of love it is I truly seek. Without the unhappiness of those relationships ... I wouldn't feel the happiness and gratefulness of the relationship I am in now. Even though you weren't happy with the events of the past. (rarely anyone is ) remember you're here now. What happened - happened. You can't change what happened then. But you can change what happens next. If you're still unhappy about the events of the past then you're simply looking at the events still from within the box. Everyone has the ability to step out of the situation and look at it from a different perspective. The only thing keeping you in the space of unhappiness is yourself. If you keep yourself there,  others will notice and may leave you there because they may believe that it is there where you seek and find happiness because you choose to stay there so often. Don't let unhappiness fill the space that is reserved for happiness. Get used to it. Out with the old and in with the new. Don't let THIS moment pass you by.

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