Monday, August 30, 2010

You're Not Good Enough

Alright this blog is gonna be all about ... The fact that you're not good enough.  No - No I'm just kidding. My god brother said something to me that inspired this blog entry, he said something along the lines of, "girls say that I'm a nice guy and that I'm very sweet, but I'm not good enough to date." Well I'm pretty sure that if some girl said you're not good enough for them to date to your face -I'm sorry I find that kind of bitchy - and I'm going to be honest to say, have you ever considered the fact that if she is that rude enough to say that to your face without you having to ask ( but maybe I can't fault her for being honest ) - perhaps it's you that deserves better?

Well this all coming from a girl, all girls like and look for different aspects in the guys they date. It's the combination of things at times and sometimes some girls have their heads up their ass when in search of their "perfect guy". The great guy for you are sometimes the kind of guys you may never expect it to be. You can't demand perfection without knowing your own flaws. You can't say someone isn't your "type" without true interaction. I'm going to say that the truth of things is that girl already has an idea in her mind the kind of guy she wants - heck she may even already have a guy picked out but all she has to do is get him to notice her some more. When she simply tells you, sorry. And you really want to know why, just ask. But I warn you - be prepared to handle the words that are going to be coming out of her mouth. They may knock you off your high horse - better yet she may even jump on the horse she just knocked you off of and ride away on it. Here it is. What she's trying to say is... You're not good looking enough to her standards. Smart / dumb enough. Sensitive / considerative enough. You may not make the right enough income. You may not have the right kind of job or you're jobless. You don't have anything that sparks her interest. You don't have the kind of style she likes. You may not even listen enough to the conversations about her. You maybe the one that talks too much about you and not enough about her. You don't have any common interests. You don't sexually appeal to her. There... That's basically what she's trying to say - perhaps not all at the same time. But one I have or haven't listed above would be one of her reasons. You do realize sometimes it's just that she's too picky. I'm going to be honest to say that I'm picky too but only to a certain extent. I have standards - everyone should have standards and expectations that a guy / girl must meet. Don't set your bar too high cause you may let perfection pass you by. Have some exceptions that you're willing to have your standards slide a little on. Know that you can't force someone you love to change for you - if someone loves you enough they will change and sacrifice naturally for you.

Beyond that I have no idea what else I can say. Personally, my choice of guys have gone down to one final choice if I should date them or not. I've foolishly in the past ignored this believing it may occur later on naturally, then I switched and decided. There's no point of being with someone who doesn't make you feel the chills down your spine and weak in the knees. I went with feeling. Some guys may claim they have this ability - to cause me to feel this - I'm sorry to knock you off your high horse but you maybe able to make a girl feel this - but you can't choose who you will stir this reaction and emotion in. You obviously don't control someone's feelings towards you. That said - when I decided to choose on feelings I realized I had to switch my "what's higher priority in my standards around."  We may have standards and most of the time they maybe too high of a bar. Most of the time - people just don't know what they want because they don't take enough time to focus on that aspect, they just want to be loved. I realized that there are those that love me and without a doubt would treat me really great, or we would have a good relationship - but if there's no spark or emotion - I won't pursue it. That's why it was so easy to let some people go. In the words of Ry, sometimes it's all about timing. I didn't get what he meant but now I do. We started off chatting online before texting and 8 months or so later -'we met. I had standards but no expectations when I met him. Today I am happy - happy to feel shivers every time I'm with my guy :) . I hope he knows this. ♥
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