Wednesday, September 22, 2010

No Music No Love

No Music No Love

I've been living without my headphones for 3 days now going to work and this silence, no music around me *sigh* makes me feel a little empty. Does music feed my soul?

I've been thinking if I should tell my dad I'm thinking of moving out. No, not just thinking, I should be well on my way to planing it. If I rather choose happiness, why am I still at home? Where my input counts for shit. Where I struggle to be happy. My dog is driving me nuts. Now it's midnight / whatever AM barking.

I'm going to express what I've been thinking lately, that's been weighing on my shoulders. At home, no questions are asked, perhaps the most by be, but answers are rarely replied that satisfies the needs to fulfill them. In my home, I will never be thin enough, smart enough, good enough of a daughter, anywhere close to a perfect housewife, I perceive to have no passion, wasted talent, no give - all take.

Knowing that I should not believe this perception of myself - is much more easier said than done. How do you ignore the man that's been chanting the fact you've never been good enough for most of your living - breathing life. And thus - a turn of events in the situation of others also has made me feel - I was not good enough. I won't give details and won't answer any questions that pertain to it either.

There's always the difference between saying you're going to do something and actually doing it. I guess I rather be acting on what I want than just saying I'm going to.


Sent from my iPhone

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