3am Tears
Yeah, I got my response email from my brother getting a room swap. Too it wasn't only a decline but him clearly stating the fact of what he thought of me - not so nice things to repeat. Some things he stated were true, some he clearly doesn't get / understand or know. Have I been bashing my family on my online personal journal?! But I never in the slightest meant to give the image that my parents are the worst parents or bad people. I just state the truth of what's happening and what's been said and how I feel about it - at the moment. I was in my - good period - where I can only explain that I've been feeling really loved this last week - till I got this one email. I'll be honest - kind of typical to expect this kind of energy from the brother. Same energy from dad. But Dads just seems to be happy that I produced some art and have entered an Art show. I'll try my best to not let the negative things my brother said to me get me but - it's family. Like I said before - I'd like the support but clearly not feeling it's there. I know there's one thing about my dad and that is he will always be there when it comes to me and art - which is fantastic.
Renovations are still underway slowly. When I do find the time to be at home and have the energy to do so. I've been so busy these days. At work, after work.
D_Method ( my music crew ) is growing. Inch by inch my friend SJ says but we're growing. Mali's latest song was one of the most downloaded I don't remember if it was for a day or this week so far- but the song only came out on sat. Wow- most downloaded in what I can only dub as the Bollywood scene is well tough beans - no?
I guess my friends are right - my brother says that people are out there laughing at me - I'll let them laugh at me. My family? - no - there's really no reason to do that because we're like any other dysfunctional family. And we all know how many there are out there. But where are my friends right? That I shouldn't let the negative energy break me. I'm building something - though many may not notice, or see at the time being - I'm doing something towards my ultimate dream.
I've started to swap my room with my guest room. I'm going to start writing extra cheques to my dad for rent. The question is will he accept it- he's always questioning if I have enough money. I have enough - dad. I'm pretty safe right now- enough to even save with and spend and pay bills and rent. I hate talking about money. It is and should be the least of my worries. Things happen. I understand and that's why you have your safety cushion. I'm building it to have no worries when something does happen.
The hacker thing happened over the weekend. Where my site was hacked- but I know I shouldn't let that get to me either. New site should have more and better things.
SJ - DJ - PP are the three that right now are probably supporting me spiritually right now. Out of my friends. I know Ry supports me regardless.
Whats going on this week. Got to launch 2-3 websites. Song drop on sat. Website re-build. And helping my friend with his branding. Oh and websites for the gb.
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