Behind SyloArts

It's another down morning I don't know what happened last night - but this morning I woke up to find all my hanging closet items on the floor. The hanging joint where the bar sits on gave out. I left the house to miss the normal bus. Then I miss two other buses that are on my transfer route. I've been thinking - who are my crushes. Now there are basically null. Why? Well Jugo Juice guy sold off his business so - no more eye candy. But people I've crushed on are off limits or taken - and in the terms of mr.193 - he's now taken and very far away. So - crushes - null now. Would I get with them if they returned to me to say that they are interested and want something more. - it all depends- always. I feel very tired. Now I have to think about what to do about my closet.

The saddest little dog Right now the ultimate heartbreaker is CC - my dog. He just seems like the saddest little thing right now. Being blind ( only notices movement if he stands long enough to pay attention to what's around him ). He's deaf now so won't react when you call him. Even though I'm home- he refuses to eat. He's gone quickly back to a skinny little one. He was so heavy just the other week. He stands and then slowly slides down to the ground to lay down. He can't see the steps anymore so sometimes he stumbles down them. He remains a little frighten after that even when it was just one or two steps he slid down - but not fell. He doesn't see the ledge of the pavement where it meets the grass. It scares him when he looses a bit of his footing before he hits the grass. I have to turn on the lights as he moves around or i find him unknowingly walking into the wall / dresser / mirror. It breaks my heart as I hear a little whimper from him as he sits on

Yeeeaaaahhhh I didn't catch the bus yesterday. In turn I ended up walking the mall and was deeply feeling like purchasing a microphone I came across. But future shop's price seemed a little high compared to things on shopbot. Life's getting a little boring and I maybe buying too much stuff :/ but Its not useless stuff. Little things come up and it can't be helped. I wonder when my glasses will be ready for pickup. And some things I'm just feeling like. It's needed and then I just get it. I am saving for bigger things.

Sickly sick Well my dad's gone for a check up the other day. And I do pray his tests come our fine. Me however am overdue for my check up. :/ I said I would this year but let's face it - I'm scared. Even worse is today is probably one of my worst symptom days in a long time. I hate seeing red. :/ I guess I just indulge as much as I want to anymore. Now I'm considering doing the week cleanse. I should really look into how they do that. My stomach hurts. I've been eating through out today. English muffin, yogurt, glass of juice... Yeah I don't know my meals by heart but still. Well at least I drop weight quickly when I'n sick- but that's only cause I don't feel like eating :( My sister says maybe I should start writing out my horror dreams and maybe they will make movies out of then. I don't know about that train of thought. It might reveal that I maybe a little - crazy. I've been blogging a lot lately - maybe it's cause I need to get my th

Moving On You take everything one step at a time - you make your choices and move on. Sacrifice what you need to. Know what you want and go for it. Don't wallow in regret. Don't think what would it have been like if- think I want it to be like this. And make the changes you need to be what you want it to be. Declare what you want proudly and loudly. Don't slap the person you love in the face unless you're willing to get a slap back. Don't expect the person you love - to love you back the same way. And don't assume that the person you love - doesn't love you either. Don't reason with love, cause love has only one reason. Don't look back - just forward. Don't take the grief from the past - carry what you cherish - love and happiness. Give - more than you get - be happy - be kind - be better as a person - beyond the average person. - continuation in the early morning. I'm on my way but my disturbing dream lingers. I dreamt that I was one of a

Sleepless Nights It's hard to say what has been going on in my mind lately. Looking up places to rent, taking my finances a little more serious. But my emotions are what I'm watching. Bad thoughts of ill will. I don't like thinking like that but sometimes it's hard not to feel hate towards someone that has wronged you. But if you can purify your heart to wish the ones well - the ones that have harmed you - are you not the better person? Especially when you feel this bit of hatred in your heart for them- your better for recognizing it and trying to go the other way. Wish everyone well - regardless how much you may hate them. Competitiveness may have left my heart for a bit. But in relationships competitiveness is just not me- I don't compare if they are smarter then me or vice versa. That doesn't do us any good to either know if one can run faster than the other. Or if one is smarter than the other. What should be looked at is the force that the couple are when t

Price of Future I went out yesterday morning with my God Brother. We went to go visit my a friend who owns a sandwich shop in Surrey. We were talking about things. And cake making the night before I was talking to my sister about things too. I maybe in the state of blankness as it with things. I should be going out and having fun this upcoming season. spring and summer. If unhappiness settles sooner than things need to be fixed. Continued after the sun run - Yup just did the sun run - I didn't run it - just a nice walk with a friend. Heading back home now to relax and chill with the family dog. I may pack up more items for donation. Grateful - for what I have now and how things are. But a part of me is starving for more - for someone that's wanting to do activities with. Wall climbing, hiking, biking, snowboarding... Etc. Life's way too short.