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Showing posts from May, 2011

Missing a piece of me

Missing a piece of me And I can't put my finger on just what- it is I'm missing. Maybe I'm just tired from working 8 hours with 2 hours of travel on top. I sleepy. But I feel - sad. I think I should start to really draw out my story. - book - that is - graphic novel? Are there popular online graphic novels? - I wonder. Bigger question is will people read it? Maybe it's a little of the family matters. That's just getting me down. Lots of changes about to go on and I really just feel like - hibernating. Sometimes I just think of packing up and leaving - and then I wonder - where would I go? - what would I do? I stopped doing the YouTube thing for a while to find inspiration. But I find none and I feel like emotions are down and out. My friends are all picking up as the summer is coming about and I am so proud of them and I feel - stuck. Selfish thoughts lead no where. With Stories still untold, and a future to behold.

Loved

Loved There are random days that go particularly well and I can't help but feel a bit loved by someone watching from above. How mysterious it is the little things. For me this morning is that a specifically long light crossing changes just in time for me to catch the bus. That rarely ever happens. Well that's probably the only story I have today. I spent my weekend at the bf's cleaned his place as I was there watching movies to kill time - looking and doing some calculations of financials and and checking up on side work. Fei ( our grey cockatiel ) was taken yesterday. He seems to be in a mess since Pidge died. Like he misses him or he could just be wanting not to be alone. But he hates people. My dad thinks he knows he's dead and gone. I think Fei is just THAT stupid not to know he's dead... Just thinks maybe he went missing or hid or what not. I kind of miss Pidgeotto - he was very cute in his quirky ways. There was this one time I was working out and he wanted to

Bye Bye Pidge

Bye Bye Pidge My heart's a little heavy this morning. Last night I come home and walk by in the dark to hear the birds in a frantic. More than the norm. I turn on the light to find Pidgeotto - a yellow cockatiel we've had in the family for ten years plus - stuck and bleeding and in a panic. I rush to help him - I quickly open up the cage and try to support him. He was holding on with his beak pretty hard. Apparently he had probably slipped and got stuck between the cage and the feeder, his right wing caught between the bars of the cage. Both wings bleeding. He must have been panicked and flapping and stressed for a while. I shouted for my dad as he was sleeping upstairs. It takes him a few minutes to respond and when he showed up he helped me push his caught wing back into the cage, at that moment I feel him no longer grabbing onto my finger, he let go of the cage and when we freed his wing and I think we've saved him, he slips from my hands like butter and lands on his bac

A Long While

A Long While It's been a long while since I've written anything - just space and time are against me. If I'm not seated in the early mornings to blog- then I won't blog. If I'm not on the travel - I won't blog. But I like time to myself. And rarely get to say what's on my mind. Well just yesterday felt like craziness and mayhem - there seems to be no such thing as doing things quietly at home - even when it comes to finding papers. It's like blame city. I know what and where important things are - my family number one issue - listening. Cause we lack that sincerity of one another - just to listen. I started to put up my wall against them a long time ago - one thing always leads to an insult. Or that's how I feel. If I never brace myself at all times - I wouldn't be here and that's a sad honest truth. I am now selling lots of things on eBay. One - to get rid of stuff. Two - make money back. Three - it will make it easier when I find a place an

Expiry Dates

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Expiry Dates I have simply come with terms that everyone has them. Especially Me. My heath issue has struck hard this week and all I can really do is stick it out. To make matters worse I have a dry cut on the corner of my mouth this week that makes me sorry about wanting to eat anything when I try to open my mouth to eat anything. My dog slept in my room last night and I have no idea how for a little dog - that he can have so much pee! Yeah I had a few wet surprise puddles when I woke up this morning. I find myself not getting mad at him anymore. I see that now he can't help himself when he does pee. No point of hitting him and saying NO! Because he can't even hear your discipline and hitting him would simply stress and startle him even more cause he can't see that you're mad. Yesterday I had a nice surprise when I discovered a little bunny on a postal box. Work days are getting slow but it's the epic calm before the storm. I scored in the first regulation roller