Thursday, July 28, 2011

It Reminded Me

As I walked towards the house - I felt so ... nervous - at first out of place, wondering if I should be even putting myself in the place of visiting but I had to. I missed the babies all so much.
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Here is how I usually am. I am usually emotional before the act of something or after. Never so much during. I focus a lot of energy on being present in the moment to enjoy it. It was around 11 as I walked up and pushed the door bell button I have to relinquish any fears or doubts cause I am already in the moment. Steph comes to the door holding Flint who's a little too cute for words. I say hello to him and he gives me a little smile. As we make our way to the living room I ask if the boys were up. She said yes, they were already playing video games. As I walked in I see Lakin and Gage already standing, dropping their controllers, hesitant as they said hi to me.
Lakin approaches first as I ask they remember me. Gage says yes and gives me a hug. It was not long after as they start to play their video game and they stop soon after to ask me if I wanted to see their room. Mom quickly says she doesn't think that's a great idea since their bedroom was such a disaster. Gage quickly says that it's no problem and to give him 5 minutes to make it presentable. Him and his brother soon runs out of sight to clean their room as fast as possible. I then have time to talk to Steph a bit and give her a the gift cards I got the babies. It was soon after the boys returned to convince me to go up and see their room. I follow and notice the mini house made of boxes that was being built in the middle of their sitting room. LOL - I really thought they were moving or something. I head up the stairs and Steph warns me that there are a lot of stuff everywhere since there were renovations happening in their room as well. I walk into their room to discover toys everywhere and that the boys now share a room together. Gage then insists on fixing up his fort to show me.
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It wasn't soon after till Steph was convincing Lakin to take me downstairs to draw in the cardboard box house. He took me by the hand and brought me downstairs to see the house made of boxes that sat in the sitting room downstairs in front of the fireplace. It wasn't soon after I was exploring the little paper house as he invited me to enter assuring me I would fit. I hesitated as I I'm pretty sure big people really can't fit but I smiled and said, "You're lucky I'm half the size of an average adult." :) I really don't know why I make such comments. But that's just me I guess. The cardboard house was decorated with drawings and had door cut outs and zap tie looking attachments used to make hinges. The boxes from the outside look like boxes next to each other, Some stacked on top but when you peak in they attach to one another like an underground tunnel. There was a wicked drawn portrait on one of the walls of the house.
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It was very cute and represented everyone very well, and then I noticed the other drawn marks everywhere making it look like a murder scene - re-drawn out by markers. I watched as Lakin played around so well and I smiled as he approached me to help him open a pack of sweet tart candies. He was so polite and even asked how many he could have out of the pack. Gage puts on a little play for me, but he did it so fast he put on another one for me with different characters and I got to get that one on film. They, sang and acted out to Bruno Mars, lazy song. I was very impressed they knew all the words.
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Baby Flint was very active wanting to crawl then there will be the part where he will just try to reach.

Gage then showed me this game he calls Dust- apparently it's a physics and chemistry simulation program / online game. You basically add elements to this drawing art board - let's say you added nitrogen, oil, and water. Gravity will bring the particles down into layers on the art board but if you add fire to the layer it will simulate water evaporating and the flammable layers of liquid / gas going up in flames burning and bringing little particles up in the air and so on. He showed me all these things and made me think he's still super smart for someone his age. Wiser then I may ever know :). There was a moment when we were playing with the box house where Gage said to mom: "mom, just trust me this once..." I smiled and laughed a little out loud when I said to Gage, "You shouldn't say that Gage, you're still very young and may use that line many times ad you grow older." - going back to Dust - he played this a little until lunch was ready. There was one point where I tried to convince the babies to go help mom with lunch. It was a bit of a battle that I lost because they ran off to check if it was one of their chores and said to me they didn't have oleo cause it wasn't a chore. I replied, "just cause it's not a chore, doesn't mean you can't help mommy make lunch." I let go of the lost battle since they were very much into this computer game. I went to go sit down at a dining table that made me feel like it wasn't so long ago I was there. But feeling and reality are two different things. I look around me and something familiar happens as I was going to go sit down at a certain spot one of the babies whine about where to be seated. Gage wanted to sit by me, then Lakin wanted to as well. We had dumplings and blue berries and carrot cake for lunch. The baby seemed to love to eat. Gage is now the fast eater when he used to be the last and Lakin is now the slower eater of them when he used to be the slower one. The boys were chatter with the baby trying to join in at times. I thought to myself that Steph really has her hands full. Especially when the baby starts talking as well. It was soon after finishing that I believe I joined Gage again in front of the computer when Steph said I would leave if that was all he was going to. We soon went upstairs after and she went to put the baby down as I continued to watch the boys. Gage perfecting his fort and constantly asking me to go into it with them. Sharing a piece of their little world.
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Steph soon returns to tell me she was going to go take off and said I was welcome to stay for a bit longer. Offered the boys a deal if they wanted to go with her or stay home as she went to go run errands. Oh don't worry if your reading this and thinking Steph was just leaving the boys alone, Aunty Mary was still home afterall. The boys opted to stay, Gage also asked me to stay and play a little longer. We played for a bit longer in the boys room after she left and after a bit we headed downstairs to play some video games. The boys were playing a game called castle crashers. I however found I was really bad at the game. They were building their characters and unlocking more of the game when they gave me the "in development" player. You know those players. Still a beginner and you have to play the game to gain points in order to level him up. Yeah one of those guys. I kept dying. And the cute thing about this game was that to revive the other player that just died, another player has to go up and what seems like resuscitate the other player doing chest compressions. The boys were my teammates but they were way better than me at this game. Having to save me so much. It wasn't soon after when we were playing when the baby woke up and was already up. Aunty Mary ended up plopping him down between the boys as she continued to bake. I kept trying to make baby Flint smile at the camera, I got one or two good shots.
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A little while after we ended up going back up stairs me taking baby Flint a long and as the boys played around and showed me stuff... Like Lakin showing me his fallen out tooth in a tooth keep sake. It didn't seem like long after when Steph returned with items in hand. Gage and Lakin had made glass starfishes when visiting the island. Lakin had made was more see through and Gage had more dark colors on the top side and more red. A little slip up and Flint almost poked his eye when he tried to crawl to mom and slipped. Steph picked him up right away and comforted him as he got another mark on his super cute face :( . We headed downstairs again soon after so the boys could show grandma the starfishes. It didn't take long till Steph suggested to go to Toys R Us so the kids could spend their present money. Then right away Gage asks if I would go with them... soon later Lakin did as well. I said yes of course. Then Aunty Mary also invited me to also stay for dinner... I did admit that I had missed her cooking over the years. I went with them to toys r us , helping out loading and unloading the boys in and out of the car... At the store the boys were a little indecisive about what they wanted to get.
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Transformers? Lego? Yugi Oh? The different choices, but they a little while later decided on Halo Lego. For baby Flint, Steph would just pick random baby toys and place infront of flint to see his reaction and what he would do. If he liked it - she would consider getting it or not. He ended up getting a picnic basket and some toy fruits and veggies and what not. The boys got to get their Lego with mom covering the tax and baby got his presents too. It was soon after we went over to baby's world where Steph had to pick up a few things. The boys ran around being boys and baby Flint was getting hellos from the workers. On the way home Flint started to cry. Apparently Steph says that he hates car rides and their most recent trip to Whistler he cried the whole way home. I don't even know how she's going to do with the babies on the Plane. We got home and as we did there were a group of kids waiting to play video games in the living room. They ended up playing a game called 'The fat princess' and as they started to kill the characters Gage noticed the violence setting wants changed to show no blood. He quickly called out for someone to pass him a controller and he turned the violence setting down and soon passed back the controller and continued on with his Lego. I never asked if he did that because he didn't like the blood setting or he did it more for everyone else, - his baby brothers. It was quiet remarkable to witness the concern in his voice about the situation. He took the initiative and responsibility really well. Dinner was soon served and I was keeping a watchful eye on the time. If I didn't leave at the right time then I would get home in the dark. Dinner was delicious with veggies, rice and shake and bake chicken. The family and students all sat on the large dining table on the patio. Baby Flint made a mess but he ate a lot.
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Gage ate faster than Lakin now. Lakin slowing at his portions. He was so adorable earlier in the day to have told me that he had lost weight during this summer. The patio hasn't changed and a part of me reminisced about the other meals shared there. The bees still buzzed about and of course they liked to stay about me. I think Steph had encouraged them to eat faster in order to play with me some more. Gage then asked when I was to leave - I said half an hour to an hour and he looks at me with those eyes and asked to make it in an hour. I agreed - never really can say no to those eyes. It was after I joined Gage after he finished eating and I had as well in continuing to build his Lego, Lakin joining in after. Even when he didn't finish but he slowly did as he was made to finish his veggies. Sometime during my Lego building Flint had to be put to bed. It seems he only reacted with a smile when I kissed his cheeks - or total flirt wave at him- he would give me a cheeky look. But i said good night and good bye to him. I helped the boys build up to a point when a piece was missing. While building I joked around to Steph asking what was the opposite of child labour. I foolishly grabbed handfuls of Lego and droping them from my hands crying "I wanna go home... I can't find the last piece :( " - lol I was just playing of course. It wasn't soon after I really had to go. The boys walked me to the front door... As I walked towards the front door through the kitchen I lifted one arm and looked back at Gage who would soon wrap his arms around me to ask when I'd be coming back for a visit. Even the front door they gave me a hug and then Steph soon suggested I exit from the back, it was far quicker. The boys soon then walked toward the back of the house going to grab the closest available shoes - which turned out to be boots. Lakin had Paul frank ones which red trim matched his red t-shirt. Lakin walked ahead of me down the steps of the back porch and at the gate he gave a hug with a tight little squeeze. It made me remember the last timed I hugged him two years ago - I had said I squeezed him with my hugs because that's how much I loved him. Pulling at my heart strings. I was about to leave before Gage shouted Wait! Wait! Giving me another hug. Waved good bye to Steph and walked down the ally to the bus stop.

As I stood there I remembered when I used to visit them except with him. He was the only thing missing but what made me all teary eyed was the thought that thought I'm alone - I am still so loved. I'm so thankful to have visited. It filled my heart up - when it was feeling drained of it.

Even though I didn't tell them. They probably knew when I hugged them. That I love them- the babies, and Steph, Aunty Mary and uncle Collin too ... Oh and wade lol even though I didn't get to see him. :)

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