Thursday, September 18, 2014

The Engagement


Right when I posted up the announcement, I was overwhelmed at how quick friends and family started to congratulate the news. I'm so thankful for the happy and supportive thanks. Many have asked for the "how he did it" story. I am not the shy and secretive type, although I can be. However there is many parts to this proposal I can't share in great detail. Some of it I thought I would share on my wedding day as part of my speech, but I guess I can always write another one.

I'll be honest to say, I didn't know he was going to pop the question. I didn't know he planned on doing it at all anytime soon. ( Although I was feeling it was never going to happen at all. ) It wasn't a grand spectacular proposal as I thought he would do, but he had his reasons and you'll soon know as well. What did happen? How did he pop the question?

We were getting ready for bed, or should I say to go to sleep, as I was already on my side getting all comfortable, he rolls over me to get to my side of the bed. Me asking him what he was doing, he replies "giving you a present". He goes down on one knee and begins to propose to me. He gives his speech before the question of how many things we've been through in our three years together. Me breaking my back, and not so long ago, the passing of his father. We've been up and down and it's been a long time coming and he thought it was time that I should solidly know that he does want to marry me. He asked me and I said.. YES!

After he popped the question, it seemed as though there was a million ton of weight lifted up off his shoulders. He proceeds to tell me the back story.


He's had the ring since June.
In June, with the help of our friend Will, B- delivered a whole roasted pig to my dad to ask for my hand in marriage, apparently an old traditional thing to do in some Chinese customs. Later on he was told he did it wrong ( asking the dad's permission traditional custom way ).  The pig was later on split and shared to my sister and her fiancee and family, my parents, and back to B-'s parents. So my whole family, excluding my brother who is in Australia- has been keeping this "your boyfriend is going to propose to you" secret from me for months. Also Mama J-

A large group of our friends got together during Canada Day weekend, we were in the Okanagan for a Summer group trip. B- confessed that this is when he wanted to propose. At the lake, when half of us decided to go on the speed boat and some on the jet skis. He was going to pretend to drop the ring during the proposal and dive into the water to fetch it, come back up with ring in hand and finish the proposal. He even said he had a meeting with some of the guy friends to let them in on the plan.

This epic proposal never went through... it was not long before this date that B-'s dad fell ill and was hospitalized. With dad sick and in the hospital he postponed his proposal. 

B- had already told his dad that he was going to marry me. I don't know when he told him the news, but I was told his reaction was "Oh, GOOD!". Although he didn't know if dad would be able to keep his secret. He did. He tells me that there was a moment in the hospital, when dad asked him if he had asked me yet, B- thought dad was going to let the secret out because apparently at this time, even mama didn't know. 

This explained SO MUCH! - How his dad would be SO happy to see me the days I went to visit him as he laid there on the hospital bed. I seemed to always be able to get a smile and a reaction of happiness from his eyes. At the time I couldn't understand why... but everything started to make sense as he told me this news. ( I can't help but cry as I write this *teary eyed*) A part of me feels maybe he was hoping to see one of his sons engaged before he passed away, sadly he didn't get the chance. [ Something boyfriend doesn't know: I was learning a song on the ukulele to play for his dad, I wanted to sneak off one day and go visit him and play it for him, but I never got the chance to.] 

His dad passed away in mid July but the funeral was postponed until the next month. Thus pushing back B-'s initial plans even more.

Let me take a moment to tell you a bit about B-. He's a planner and he's very good at it. However, when it comes to intervening circumstances that a planner can't control - one after another. It gets really frustrating. Slowly over the months I noticed that he was getting agitated, easily annoyed and I couldn't understand why - till now. 

In Chinese traditions, after ones death / funeral you can't celebrate anything for 30 days after - ( I can be wrong please do not quote me on any traditional Chinese facts in this blog ).

So B- kept it all inside for the longest time, how hard can it be for someone to say - "I love you, I want to marry you?" Very difficult, especially when someone(s) / or outcomes of unseen events are saying - It's not the right time. Even when in his heart he felt it was. 

After he told me the WHOLE back story, he went to sleep. I, on the other hand, stayed awake and thought things over and I cried a little as I let everything sink in. 

So, my mom and auntie are not crazy - well maybe a little. Sometime in June, an auntie contacted me and congratulated me on getting married. I didn't understand why mom would be telling people I'm getting married, when I wasn't even engaged yet. It also started to makes so much sense why my dad was so upset when certain details of B-'s father's passing was not made known to him. It also clear why B-'s mom referred to my dad as "the father in-law." 

I can't believe, or explain to the world how much in love I am with this man. How loved he made me feel by telling me the unknowing actions he's done in preparations of this ultimately simple - NOT SO SIMPLE - proposal. 

I don't want this blog post to be a sad one or a frustrating one where in the end love prevails ( of course it does ). So much DRAMA - is not something I like but deal with on a basis. We all know that drama only exists when it's created... so I'd like to tell you the story of how the dog almost ate the ring.

I decided to take the engagement photo of the dog with the ring on his nose as seen above.
Well you see there's this trick that we've taught the dog where he balances a treat on his nose. He flicks it up and thus snatches the treat in mid air. 

While during the photographing of the wonderful photo above. At one point the dog thought it was a treat, flicked it up into the air and snapped at it. Luckily he missed! but it totally taught me a lesson.

All in all I'm engaged! :D and I'm excited to be getting another mama and two older brothers!
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