Behind SyloArts

Happy 2012

2012-01-12T21:43:00.000-08:00

I've been contemplating for a while to write my first post of the year. I wondered how it would be like. What would I say and in the end it came to the point where I was simply just thinking too much. ( Thinkitus ) This holiday season was full of festivities and events. Some with such a long line up that we just walked away from the event ( festival of lights. ) I hope it really snows next year so the lights can be that much more prettier.

This year the new year was spent the way it should have always been. How every new year should be rung in and spent with someone you love. Family. Friends. This Christmas and new years was very different from the last. This year I didn't get a lot ( physical possessions ) but I did get a lot out of it.

B-'s friends over the holidays have made me see the insight of how much family love there is there that surrounds him. Family not just in blood, but the family you choose to create with - the friends around you. So many of them so forwardly embracing - you feel their warmth. It's so different from what I've adapted to over the years. It's always a little awkward to meet and come into a new family, but it's also very comforting to feel that feeling like - 'that's where you should always have been.' It's the kind of loves and friendships that so many seek or seek to build and perhaps even a few experience. To walk into the middle of an evolution of relationships is always interesting to experience. Especially when you feel and become so well aware of the evolutions of the relationships that you take part of.

I step back and know see the changes of the 365 and what it's done. It's another year and what are our achievements ... dreams ... goals. What are the ones we did reach.

I think about one of my friends - who I'm so proud of.

One who once hated his job, at times he even seemed like a sad bear. He had a dream, a passion and yet didn't choose to seek it. Me and Esjay sat at the table with him and said that if he didn't have the tools he needed to pursue his dreams we would sacrifice a few dollars from our wallets to provide them for him. Eventually he ended up quitting his job and at first apprehensive of what he would do for money, me and Esjay were very positive in the fact that he was talented enough that Life would just accept his passion and fuel it. Now he's a booked photographer, doing events, filming and creating a beautiful example of a happy life. Well I hope it is anyways. My props goes out to www.thinkvik.com.

Just as equally impressive is Shalini. When I first met her, heard her music. Shivers down my spine. I pegged success for her. She's a little something different. A little something that no one else I know has. How can I describe her? I want to say she's like a rising sun that doesn't set. I'm watching her rise and it's so beautiful, all the steps she is taking. She shines when she's performing and it's like basking in the sun. All you really want to do is sit back and enjoy it. Slowly she went from playing here and there... now she's hit the local radio stations! I love it.

D-Meth . www.desimethod.com is currently and soon coming to it's fifth revolutionary cycle. Re-inventing the wheel is not easy. Just like seeking out true happiness in life. Wait that's easy... it's enjoying the difficulties - that's hard. Knowing what can truly make you happy is also half the battle. Not everyone discovers this so easily. But it's nice to know there's a group of friends that are there who want nothing but the best for you. I will also embody this virtue of happiness, always wanting the best for my friends and family in happiness and success.

Personally. I've been fighting some things. Slowly coming to the conclusion that 2012 is truly the year of letting go of a lot of things. It's the year to no longer take those many little glimpses back. To step out of my comfort zone. To take on a path that is new and adventurous. Because just as important were the stepping stones you laid .. you already know the path behind you.. what really matters is the path ahead.

Happy 2012

Boxing Day Party Bash

2011-12-27T01:00:00.000-08:00

Proof that Brian was there. LOL . At the other week. I had totally forgot who it was I waved to in the parking lot. and here is solid proof we saw eachother at this party.

Christmas Bash

2011-12-25T23:30:00.000-08:00

During the Day we returned to B-'s house to have dim sum and open presents and all that Christmas goodness. All B- wanted for Christmas was a squid hat, one which I got for myself as well.

Christmas party at the Ngo's Family Get together was entertaining. What a big family they have with all the kids running about playing games. But it's pretty interesting watching and listening to B- singing backstreet boys.

Christmas Eve Morning

2011-12-24T16:32:00.000-08:00

It's wonderful to wake up in the morning and then find out your sister had her baby the night before and didn't contact you. But I headed over to the hospital right away after finding out the news and was glad to see the baby is a gorgeous baby girl. In the evening was the family Christmas get together dinner. It was quaint and not as busy as it used to be the years before. Very different feel. What a great addition to the family.

Last Minute Shopping

2011-12-23T23:30:00.000-08:00

Last minute shopping is perhaps the worst thing you can ever do. This year it doesn't feel like Christmas was as festive as the years before. More people doing last minute shopping. No more chocolate cookie tins. Everything was taken up and then I come across a Belgium cookie packaging with Chocolate spelled wrong. I wonder if anyone got fired for it.

The Man At The Station

2011-12-22T23:30:00.000-08:00

If anyone ever travels to Burrard Skytrain station on a regular basis will know this man. This man that plays the guitar so well. When I am coming up the escalators and hear Cannon-D I feel like it's going to be a wonderful day. That is one song I've actually claimed as my power song. Strange "power song". It makes me feel like such a winner when I play this song... that I've won. But it is a song that has been played out for weddings and now when I do get married, I'm going to have problems looking for a entrance song... or maybe my hubby will take care of that one.Well this day I decided after thinking for a few days before that I would buy a CD, so that I can listen at work. And Here it is.. I even made him sign it for me. :)

Vancouver Christmas Market

2011-12-21T23:30:00.000-08:00

Before the day really started, we obviously had work during the day and since today is Wednesday :) today is date night and we started our meal at a little sushi place on Seymour. I wondered if we dined there on days we didn't know eachother... how many times apart. Then it makes me think if we were to rewind our lives... how many paths we took would have cross paths.Later on that night we went to the Christmas Market. I've never been to one. I'm so happy that B- likes going to events and doing things like this. It makes our relationship a little more exciting and well eventful when there are places to go and things to see. I realized that being in a relationship that doesn't allow you to explore gets boring. You don't learn as much about one another and the both of you don't grow together with the kind of experience that nurtures a relationship. It is very important to move together in the right direction in a relationship.The Christmas Market was smaller than I imagined it to be but the lines for the best places were obviously long. I would have liked a waffle but the long lineup turned me off from it. The crafts were beautiful and felt uniquely different. The little lanterns that move with the candle heat were pretty neat. Me and B- walked away getting a little something from the market as mementos of Christmas ornaments. B- got a butterfly, and I got a glass ornament.

Let Me Take You Somewhere

2011-12-15T23:30:00.000-08:00

B- has taken me to a bunch of places to eat and this time I took him somewhere he's never been before to eat dinner. A little place in Richmond.

Musical Bingo

2011-12-14T23:30:00.000-08:00

One of B-'s best friends Steven is back in town and he decided to call out most of the closest friends for a get together. It maybe one of the biggest friends get together at a restaurant I've ever participated in. Eating wings at a local pub.. and it was musical bingo night. I've heard about musical bingo, but it's a lot of work to play. With most of everyone using some kind of device to help them win. It's my first time playing and some of us at the table actually got very into it. With one of them winning. here's B- posing for the camera... ready to stamp out his cards. Good eats, good company, what more can I ask for.

Spagetti Lunch From B-

2011-12-12T23:30:00.000-08:00

It's A Corporate Party and the World In Our Hands

2011-12-03T23:30:00.000-08:00

Romeo and Juliet

2011-11-29T23:30:00.000-08:00

That's Some Good Greek Food

2011-11-26T23:30:00.000-08:00

Dinner at Banana Leaf

2011-11-25T19:42:00.000-08:00

Good eats and treats ... I must say my B - knows how to pick them.

This sample platter for two was delish. It was my first time eating at Banana leaf.

The food was good but the service was good at the beginning and then it died off near the end. Leaving us waiting a while for desert and our bill.

Food: 4/5
Service: 3/5

A Get Together @ Golden Swan

2011-11-20T17:32:00.000-08:00

It had been a few months since we all came together and had dim sum. So it was organized in a restaurant in Vancouver, all seats round the table were filled. :)

Rating: 4/5

High Tea and Teahouse

2011-11-19T23:30:00.000-08:00

B- treats me in the morning to some High Tea. I've never been to one of these before. I don't think he has either but it was nice. We sat and talked about political matters and how I confessed that I just don't understand some. How Occupy Vancouver was costing more problems then it was solving. All in all my time with B- is always enjoyable. I don't think I could get bored of what he says, thinks, and sometimes his actions are unpredictable. Sometimes predictable because of the fact of personality. Babes had a good heart. Later after our awesome meal I decided to go to Tiffany's and get myself a necklace. I was thinking of getting a white gold one, but seeing how thin and small that chain was I went with a sterling silver long ball chain necklace since I've lost my other chain. In the evening it was one of B-'s friends birthday dinner's at the Teahouse in Stanley Park. I ordered a lamb chop which was well cooked and delicious. However I can't say all the meals were great.

If Koji and CC Were Friends

2011-11-15T17:45:00.000-08:00

Happy Three Months

2011-11-14T17:59:00.000-08:00

The day started out with work and ended with much much more. A bouquet of flowers was the first gift to me for our three months. B- surprised me with treat. Mine and his first Mani-Pedi. Then we did dinner at The Pink Peppercorn. The food there was delicious :) and perhaps one day we will return for another anniversary.

For a present he gives me .. a napkin with a message on it.. reasons why he loves me so. <3

Lets Make Some Pizza

2011-11-12T23:30:00.000-08:00

We never had any pizza when we were at Boston Pizza so we decided to make one. Well ok it was more my part of it in the making but Koji was sticking by like a shark. I really hope B- liked the home made pizza :)

Working On Remembrance Day

2011-11-11T23:02:00.000-08:00

Working on remembrance day was not a great experience. But getting lunch from steamrollers was good. So filling and felt healthy! But the sauce could have been more interlaced into the food... how I have no idea but it would have made it more ...mmmmmmMMMm Good.
Food: 3.5/5

Mid Week Date - Boston Pizza

2011-11-09T23:30:00.000-08:00

Well I haven't been to Boston Pizza for a while. B- says is favorite is getting to order the children's drinks but this time he didn't. I had ribs cause well it's that female time of month and for some reason I always crave red meat. I think it's that part of me that needs iron in my body. The food was very well cooked. I expected less but got so much more. The service was great an I was just in awe of how well the ribs were cooked. I enjoyed my meal and soon after that we headed off to our mid week workout at the gym.

Biodiversity Day @ UBC

2011-11-05T22:12:00.000-07:00

Biodiversity date with B-. I had bought this groupon to go to the biodiversity museum at UBC. Before heading to the museum we went back to the place we ate on our first date. - I ordered something different of course and played it safe as the first time it was too much for me to handle. The California roll was good but the beef and rice was a lot for me to stomach. We walked on over to the Museum. I didn't know much about what it would be all about but it turned out to be interesting. Although the beginning was more interesting than the end of it. I practically went through everything. opening drawers that could be opened. The Museum felt more like a Library of the dead of different species of animals. I felt a little sad as I walked about it but the truth is, it's a bit of a necessary in the name of science and when it comes to studying the world and the animals.
I don't remember the restaurant we went to after the museum, the taro bbt was bigger than my head, B-'s tea was good. My beef roll was pretty good and the delicious Siao Long Baos.

Happy Birthday Rose Man :)

2011-11-04T22:30:00.000-07:00

The day started with me trying out the slipper boots I bought at Walmart just the night before when me and my sister visited the store to pick up some stuff. This is perhaps the best idea ever to be truly comfortable at work. Looks like ugly uggs but really slipper boots. :) after work. I met up with B- to go to his friends birthday dinner also to be held downtown.

For dinner we went to Zakkushi Charcoal Grill. I don't ever recall ever visiting a restaurant that prices per serving, but this was it. Our party had a time limit which they kept reminding us and clearly stated when our last call was. I don't know if it was a courtesy or rude considering our party took up half the restaurant seating. The service was not the best either. They didn't really tell us which plates they served were grouped with others that decided to order the same dinner packages, but service did blip sometime during the night perhaps even more than once. Food: 3.5/5 **-** Service: 3/5

Although we didn't go to the clubbing event after dinner. I did have a slight disgusting incident that happened at Safeway which I will probably never blog about. However we did decide to go get some yummy cake / treats after dinner. Going back to True Confections.

Double Rainbow?

2011-11-03T21:17:00.000-07:00

There are days where the work never seems to end. The days meld into one another and you wait for the day you didn't have to travel home alone, and on the days you do. You find yourself thinking of them. Your views are filled with glimpse of nothing but hope and happiness.

On this day, traveling to my sister's home to see my nephew.
I ask...is that a double rainbow? just outside the window.

Dinner @ Menya Japanese Noodle House

2011-11-02T21:05:00.000-07:00

This quaint restaurant was nice and the food was good. It's perhaps the only restaurant that I've been to that gave me a strainer spoon. At the end of the spoon a smiley face.

Food: 4/5

Halloween Lunch Date with B-

2011-10-31T23:30:00.000-07:00

Even though B- works a few blocks away. He still thinks taking me out to lunch sometimes would be nice, since we do work so closely together. Today on Halloween we went to Ebisu on Robson to eat.

At work: a co-worker dressed up like a jellyfish and I had said if she did I would hunt down a shell and come has a turtle. And there we are ... being silly.

Dim Sum With DJ

2011-10-30T23:00:00.000-07:00

It's a strange morning. To wake up and go out and have breakfast with B- and DJ. We sit there at The Rickshaw. I have not eaten breakfast here before but dinner with my great aunt and my dad when she was in town. Food was alright but the service was not the best. With one of the waitresses took DJ's plate away before he was even done eating. I had a great early afternoon though. Food and Great Company is something you can't beat.Later that day we went to Richmond. Spotted hello kitty instant noodles and thought that was pretty interesting. I saw a high chair that said LANS Which is my sisters name and I had to take a picture. When we were at Safeway I saw the cutest Halloween balloons ever! and couldn't help but snap a pic for memory sake.

West Side Story

2011-10-29T23:30:00.000-07:00

This is my very first time watching a musical / opera event. The play was very well done. I enjoyed most of the performance of the second lead female who played the cousin. Her voice was well suited for the play. I thought the main female lead's voice was too Opera like for the play. The main male lead was very "Disney Prince" sounding when he sang. But all together I enjoyed it. Before the Musical B- took me to get this juice he enjoys from Aberdeen Centre. It's the only drink I've had that integrates pomelo into the drink.

Pre-Halloween Fun

2011-10-28T23:30:00.000-07:00

Spending not enough time at home with Koji, this one friday night we thought we would take him with us and bring him back with us. Bringing him along with us to my sister's. Ethan was all excited that there was a different doggy. However Joey did not like Koji being up in his space. As I would imagine how Koji would have been when CC visited his house. But Koji wouldn't be as aggressive. It's just before Halloween and me and B- got pumpkins before we headed over.. we carved them that night. For the first time I made pumpkin seeds.. which I became highly addicted to. We dipped and decorated some cake-pops. Lan carved one of the pumpkins as me and B- carved one together.

Shota Sushi & Grill

2011-10-26T23:30:00.000-07:00

It's our mid week date and it's our dinner date. Eating here for the first time. The food was pretty good. Although I can't quite remember the service.

Food: 3.5/5

The One Restaurant

2011-10-19T23:30:00.000-07:00

I can't really say or remember just how great the food was. But I remember that the tea was good. Another dinner before our routine Mid-week work outs.

Trip to the States

2011-10-15T23:00:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I headed down to the States. Even for the B- a guy who claims he used to go every weekend. But has been totally distracted since being with me. But here we are being silly at a mall. Looking at hats. I should have gotten that DKNY / London Fog trench coat ... ugh it was worth it.

Friday Date Night :)

2011-10-13T23:30:00.001-07:00

My New Mattress

2011-10-13T23:30:00.000-07:00

I've been having backaches for some time and B-'s solution was to get a new mattress and here it is. As we try to stuff it into the back of his car. It was a heck of a time to fold it and shove it in the car but it fit. This is one thing that changed my life.

My back is much better from this comfy decision to upgrade.

The Lunches He Makes

2011-10-11T23:30:00.000-07:00

He makes me lunch sometimes - Mondays mostly. He drops them of at my office on the way to his. :) He makes Monday Mornings Bearable.. or any day of the week that I see him.

A Trip to the Vancouver Museum

2011-10-08T23:53:00.000-07:00

Yes Yes this is another one of my Museum groupons on which I dragged B- to go with. We traveled through the building and played with little gadgets. There was this one machine in which I thought would work in giving us a memento of our little trip but it simply ate my money. There was one thing how ever I was overly excited to play with and to see if it worked was a jukebox which I was gladly willingly feed it money for me to see it function and play a record. There was an exhibit called Bhangara Me. Where I saw people's name and faces in whom I recognized and turns out that a few years ago I actually designed some of their websites. I played around with some instruments and realized I could not play them at all. I danced around in the dancing stage room trying to follow the steps. We wandered the Museum traveling and learning about the history of Vancouver. After the Museum we ate dinner at Brown's Social House. The food was good, giving a perfect ending feel to a great day with B-.

A Trip To White Pine Beach - Date#?

2011-10-02T01:50:00.000-07:00

Sasamat Lake Hike around the lake at White Pine Beach.

Thai House Dinner.

Shalini Photoshoot - Location - My House

2011-10-01T01:49:00.000-07:00

Crazy Photoshoot day.lots of traffic. anxiety.Good Fun.

Here is a sneak peek of some of the photos that were taken of Shalini at the shoot for the cover for her upcoming album release.

At the end of the day Vik convinced me to step infront of the camera and take a pic.

The Day After

2011-09-30T20:58:00.000-07:00

37HR Celebrated Birthday - Date#22

2011-09-29T01:39:00.000-07:00

Pre-Birthday Bash - 37hrs Begins

2011-09-28T01:45:00.000-07:00

Work.Workout.Dinner.

Racing.which turned out to be.work out. food. more food. and more food.

The Cellar

2011-09-27T01:44:00.000-07:00

Shalini's Music Performance @ The Cellar On Granville.

He Drives, She Drives (not) - Date#20

2011-09-25T01:37:00.000-07:00

Test Driving Cars of My Interest. But I wasn't driving.

Iona Beach Day - Date#19

2011-09-24T01:36:00.000-07:00

L - Again...

2011-09-23T01:42:00.000-07:00

Got my Learners - AGAIN -_-.Insadong Dinner :)

Summer's End BBQ - Date#?

2011-09-17T01:40:00.000-07:00

Tom's BBQ.Good Food.Good Company.Piano Playing.Ping Pong Drinking Game?@!Sparklers.

Happy One Month - Date#16

2011-09-14T01:37:00.000-07:00

Costco & More Weekend - Date#15

2011-09-10T01:03:00.000-07:00

Samba With Sonia

2011-09-09T01:06:00.000-07:00

Are You Stuck CC?

2011-09-08T01:04:00.000-07:00

OMG - That's Hot! - Date#14

2011-09-07T13:41:00.000-07:00

Work was overload - actually not so much today. Today was quite nice with Sonia in. Things coming in and out and I get to spend half the day backing up our systems. Sonia goes and gets lunch for us as I stay behind and man office. She goes to this Vietnamese bun place that's called Bun Me. I've never had one of their subs before. She gets it for me and she had asked for mild. I didn't even look through the bun before I took a bite. Thinking something was just green pepper, it didn't take long for me to hit a jalapeno pepper and my tongue was on FIRE! I had soya milk there as I was drinking this and could not even feel or taste anything. I soon look through the bun with tears in my eyes and picked out the rest of the hot pepper. I have never done so well with anything hot. The rest of the bun was delicious!

Sonia goes and returns some other times to Bun Me as well but they never get the spiciness of the bun right.

"Maybe they just keep giving people the wrong orders" - I said.

Labour Day Weekend - Date#13 - part 2

2011-09-05T00:58:00.000-07:00

Labour Day Weekend - Date#13

2011-09-04T00:44:00.000-07:00

Playland Part Deux - Date#13

2011-09-03T21:15:00.000-07:00

I Won't Starve

2011-09-01T01:01:00.000-07:00

Jog Her Route - Date#12

2011-08-31T00:48:00.000-07:00

Eating EH

2011-08-29T00:51:00.000-07:00

Later that night he came over and it stole my heart.

Popping Cherries At Playland - Date#11

2011-08-27T19:43:00.000-07:00

Poor Koji! B- is alright! Koji had to remain downstairs as CC and him did not get along at all!Taro waffle egg puffs?! anyone?! so good!

Ramen With Kero

2011-08-26T00:50:00.000-07:00

Eating in the Courtyard

2011-08-25T00:53:00.000-07:00

Salad Dinner - Date#10

2011-08-24T20:04:00.000-07:00

Gardenburst Concert - Date#9

2011-08-21T20:05:00.000-07:00

Beach & BBQ - Date#8

2011-08-20T21:02:00.000-07:00

Country Meadows - Date#7

2011-08-18T21:00:00.000-07:00

Work Out With John

2011-08-17T00:55:00.000-07:00

Dinner at Sushi Oyama

A Visit To Anju & Her Babies

2011-08-16T00:45:00.000-07:00

Heavy Mornings

2011-08-15T00:38:00.000-07:00

Hike The Chief - Date#6

2011-08-13T20:16:00.000-07:00

Beautiful Mornings

2011-08-12T22:38:00.000-07:00

Meteor Shower Date - Date#5

2011-08-12T20:12:00.000-07:00

Waking Up At 4am

2011-08-11T21:57:00.000-07:00

I went to sleep at 4am, just the other day I woke up at 4am was doing fine. This time it's another story. My body didn't do too well with just 2 hours of sleep. After work I go home to find that I get called out for D'Meth meeting. While waiting for Esjay to pick me up I stood there at my front steps of my house and was basking in the sun. I thought to myself how much everyone seems to love and use and benifit off the sun, yet in reality I know what the sun really is. It's something that's dying / died. Millions of light years away it was and is a dying star. Yet the rays from this sun is relied upon. I came to the realization that the sun is perhaps perfect representation of a beautiful death. Esjay shows up a bit later than he said he would which was to be expected. We go and pick up Parin from his place. We headed on over to starbucks in Chapters and during the meeting it I was getting sleepy and Esjay kept saying - "NO SLEEPING!" Parin was there too. We were talking about what we needed to do to get to where we wanted to in life. Stepping it up everyday is a very big part of it. Sometime while I was with the guys we started talking about the sun as well how they were saying it was something to be thankful for. I told the guys about meeting B- and what happened during the first date. They were supportive and happy for me. They thought it was a great thing that we even recorded our first date with photos and videos. That B- even made videos of the set up.
on the way home after dropping off Parin. I tell Esjay more about B-. Esjay tells me that August is international love month .. and a few other things as well. He makes a comment that was like... "OooH, Sze's in love...!" - in a teasing sort of tone. My reaction was... "ChaCHOWchow!" as I made the heart symbols with my hands. I'll be totally honest, I didn't know where that came from but it was simply a natural reaction for me to do so. I go home and wash up and SLEEP!

Break On Me

2011-08-10T21:21:00.000-07:00

My diet has been a little off. But I can't help but get the easy ways out sometimes. Like buying food instead of bringing food to work after packing it and what not. I would go to Urban Fare and buy the pre- cut fruits that cost 2X just as much just cause I'm so lazy to go pick out fruits and pack and bring to work. I just head up UF in the morning and get croissants and the fruit platter and cereal and soya milk and I'm good. But I don't think about lunch very often. I usually just get a sandwich or some California rolls from the market store downstairs. It's so good I can't help it. On the way home from the bus stop after work the bag I was using's strap comes off from the seams. Sucks since I only have been using this a few days. But the bag alone is actually pretty old. I'm in the process of getting rid of my other bag as well so that means I have to currently think of getting a new bag. These last few days have not been pretty for me. I would come home and the dog would have had an upset stomach and would have diarrhea all over the floor and I would have to clean it all up. Which sucked.I learned just the other day that a friends dog was lost. Tweeted it. I prayed for the best.

Seasons In the Park - Date#4

2011-08-09T17:52:00.000-07:00

I woke up late this morning. Weird since I usually wake up to all my alarms but I'm pretty sure I woke up and looked at the time and turned the alarm off and went back to bed. I got ready in less than 10 mins and still by the time I got out of the house I missed not one bus but two that can get me to work on time. I walk down the street to catch the other bus. On the way something cheers me up besides the beautiful morning sky.

I look down onto the side walk to find a series of words spaced out. It was amusing, I couldn't help myself but take a photo.
I catch the alternative bus. As I get off the sky train something clicks. As I replay in my mind the moment when I was packing my bag. I don't remember packing my keys. I come to work to find no one at the office and I'm so upset with myself! I text my boss and he said he would be there in 15 mins. I spend some time sitting outside the office and then the remainder of 5-8 minutes in the washroom putting on makeup. Since I wasn't wearing any on the trek to work. One of my worst mornings ever I've never had such bad ju-ju. For lunch I was starving and decided to go out to grab some lunch to cheer me up. I go to the cafeteria in Royal Center Mall, The one that sits between Burrard Skytrain Station and West Georgia Street. I'm pretty sure plenty of people have been in or through this mall but never stopped and ate at any of the shops there. But I do. I'm a small business owner supporter kind of person. I've been here before ( or so I think because I ask the lady if she had any sandwiches there with sprouts in it and apparently she doesn't so I think it's changed since the last time I ate there ) I order from the special menu. The ones that they are known for. I order the Avacado and Shrimp sandwich and all I can really say is that I love avacado. This sandwich brightened up my day. ( So I thought it would be the highlight .. but you'll learn that it isn't ).

Today was date night. B- and I scheduled this date so he could come over to check my computer. I would like it to boot up faster, but a little more on that later. Well in the morning he tries to cheer me up with little text messages. I also he mentions to me that he got the call about the job downtown. That he got it! Celebration?! Time ticks away at work. At the end of the hectic day I head off to the urban fare across the street and pick out a mango moose cake and a fruit tart pastry. It's a little too bad that I forget to take a picture. I'll go back one day and take a picture and plug it in here. After picking that up as a celebration dessert I carefully headed down to the Skytrain station on Granville that would take me to city hall station on Broadway. I walk down to his parking building and wait for him. When I turned and caught him coming down the street I see him with a small bouquet of flowers. I approach him and he said he got me something and gave me the flowers and I said I got him something! I took the flowers in hand and passed him his box of dessert. I asked him what the flowers were for, he said it was to cheer me up and make up for the shitty morning I've had. <3. How can a girl not love this?! This is a random bunch of flowers were colorful a bundle I've never received before. He unexpectedly surprises me - like a beautiful sunrise on a morning that was predicted to rain. We soon head off towards the car together. On the way into the elevator there was an old couple there that seemed a bit confused at which / where they should go. B- let them in the elevator before us since they were going up - I believe. I tell him about my upsetting moments through the day and he tells me that - that is the reason for the flowers. He's so sweet. I tell him about my lunch and he said he loved avacados too! As we got in the car I ask him where he is to take me to dinner - he had a place in mind before but after driving around in traffic he decided to go back to his original thought of eating at QE park. Soon after a while I try to move the bag that's on my lap off and soon I discover this mark that's left behind by the little feet of the bag. He laughs and has to have a picture of it. During the drive at some points I'm very quiet with him in the car I very much enjoy being in his presence. Knowing he's next to me. It's the first time I'm eating at seasons. We leave the dessert in the car and flowers all in the trunk when we got there. The restaurant seemed very popular as they told us in the inside of the restaurant was filled and asked if it was alright to place us on the patio. I was okay with that. When we were seated the view was spectacular. This is another - wow, am I dreaming? - moment.I order the halibut after much debate and decision making and what not. He orders the steak. We talked about how I don't like people complaining about their food portions at mid-high to high-end restaurants especially when it's really well cooked food and the portions that are given aren't as much. Quality over Quantity is the rule that takes over here. We talk about more things that I can't quite remember but this just makes me remember to blog things on the day of or the day after and not a week or two or even a month. At the end of it we're both full and since I had already got dessert for us we got the bill and got ready to leave. While waiting for the bill I went went to ladies room. While in there I removed the lipstick I was wearing and returned to the table. I return to the table and before sitting down back in my seat I give him a kiss on the cheek. He then asks if there is a mark on his face from the lipstick. I sit down next to him at this moment and look at him. He interrupts me as I tried to get his attention and says he will find out for himself as he whips out his phone and tries to take a picture of himself. I say nothing to him as I watched him do this. Then he looks at me to find out that I'm no longer wearing any lipstick! LOL! It was then we settled the bill and left. Since it was early and when we returned to the car there was still some time on the meter, I suggested why don't we go for a walk around. We see duckies at the pond and try to get a good shot of them but too bad they don't like to stay still for me. The walked together around the park, all along a trail that lead us back to the car. as we got back to the car he suggested we take a picture together cause he really wanted one of us together.
This is the combination of two perfect realities meeting to create the perfect moment we both felt.

I love the fact that B- is very much like me. Likes to visually record moments in photos or video. Not many people like to do this. You must learn that THIS life is so beautiful - it's worth recording - it's worth capturing, and most of all worth remembering.

We head home, my dad opens the door and we walk through the front door, I introduce them and he greets my dad with a hand shake. He is the second to do this out of all guys I've dated. My sister is home and I can't quite remember what she as doing on the couch and I introduce her to him. I'm holding the box with dessert and I ask her if she wanted some. I introduce B- to the rest of the family. My mom, and Peter ( sister's fiance ) and soon downstairs she exclaims that she can't have any of the dessert because of the fact she can't eat it while she's pregnant. Yes. I am the kind of person that would offer up something even though I had bought it for myself initially. I don't really know why I'm that way, but I am. B- takes a look at my computer and it was after a few moments of booting and re-booting he claims that there is nothing wrong with my computer boot up speed that it's already really fast. The truth is, I don't think so. I think it could be faster. He takes the fruit tart from the box and I ate the mango mousse that I offered to my sister yet she refused. My sister and Peter first leave. B- leaves soon after with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Feeling Lazy? RUN!

2011-08-08T17:21:00.000-07:00

It's monday, and after work I was feeling a bit lazy and went for a run. My view is amazing and I noticed on my run that a Tim Hortons is going to be Opening not too far down the street from my house. WHAT?! really?! totally awesome.

Give Me The Stars

2011-08-07T16:34:00.000-07:00

I spend the morning with him. Him lounging on the couch. Later in the day I decide to walk CC. This was a bad idea. I had forgotten how much I dislike walking him now. He's old. He can't keep up or walk as fast anymore but not only that he still has his old bad habit of wanting to stop at every tree, big bolder, or lamp post. Tries to pee on everything when he has no more pee to pee with. He makes it down to the park and he's already tired.

When I was at the park I soon I get a text message from my god brother Chris that he is to swing by and pick up his panda plush that I had repaired and washed. He asks me what kind of BBT I would like and does a trade for it. I asked for Mango. Cause you can never go wrong with Mango. Until you find out that it's the unnatural one. We all know the best BBT is the one made with fresh fruit. If you didn't know that, well now you know. I had never had BBT from Juice King before one thing I haven't seen is the stars in my BBT. That made me go ... wow!

Dinner with the Rose Man and Friends - Date#3

2011-08-06T00:02:00.000-07:00

There's really nothing too spectacular to share about this day - I can barely remember what happened. Oh wait I was working on client work - developing a logo for an awesome client for most of the morning. Then B- invites me to dinner at his friends place. This was a Saturday - it was also fireworks ending night.

This time last year I remember where I was - at a friends place - barely seeing the fireworks from his apartment and enjoying it as it streamed online. Not the same. Eventually the repercussions that night was a dreadful thing. I ended up sleeping over at my god brothers place cause he was too tired to drive me home and the guy I was with at the time came and picked me up in the morning. He then ran a scenario in his imaginative mind that something may have happened when I woke up in the morning from the living room floor on some sitting cushions. I came out of the house in a bit of a mess since bachelor pads don't have much of anything to help girls out in brushing up on making yourself presentable the next morning. Let's just say - I never felt like I was apologizing for something that never happened so much in my life. That morning I felt so unloved - so blamed - the feeling that it was the most ridiculous feeling you can have in the start of a relationship. I then learned that if I've done nothing wrong - there is no reason for great apologies or great sense of guilt that they feel betrayed. I cannot control someone else' feelings. Back to now- it's a 180.

I'm working away - last year it was baking cupcakes this time it was creating logos. I finish and text B- . He invites me to dinner. I worry about how I'd get to him and he says he'll come and get me of course. He comes to get me and he's dressed so brightly! Lol - his yellow hat, and shirt. We greet each other with a big hug. We drive to Richmond where his friends place is - we park on the roof top parking at Richmond centre as his friend lives in a condo across the street. We leave and walk through the mall and then we realize we forgot the durian and had to return to the car to fetch it.

We walked up the on ramp this time and came back down it after getting the spiky fruit.

When we got to the condo building B- forgot which floor his friend lived on. What a good friend right?! I'm just kidding he had to re-buzz him and ask. The first time we got buzzed in the elevator button didn't work for us. We went up to the apartment and his friend opened the door for us. I walk in and its the rose man from me and B-'s first date. He looked much different without the big shades. Mr. Rose Man who will always been known as such - real name is Derek. The whole time he was in the kitchen preparing dinner.

He was the one who was leaving - this was his goodbye dinner before he took off for training in Toronto. Slowly his other two friends showed up. Tom and Jeff. Apparently on our first date, Tom was the package delivery guy at the beginning of of the date. We eat dinner and as we finished off I helped to clear the table a little as B- split open a durian for the evening desert snack and Tom cut open some watermelon that he brought. We watched a few videos of this girl that is a YouTube make up comedian. Me and B- decided to soon after everything wound down and cleaned up a little. One of Derek's good friends came over to visit.

Soon what did we do? We headed out - he asked if I was thirsty - which I was and B- brought me to a BBT place. Soon he brought me to UBC again- I suggested that was should go for a walk about and soon we decided head out on foot about campus. Seeing where the best places to star gaze was. On the way we spotted a skunk on campus and we had to divert directions so it wouldn't see / feel threatened. Soon we headed back to the car since the locations we went to were too bright. We drove down to the beach and there we almost hit a skunk crossing the road on a dark strip. It seemed late and the beach side parking lots were closed with cops doing routine checks. We soon head off to somewhere B- had never been to. Burnaby Mountain. On the drive up he actually turned into the wrong location. Going up to the campus area. It wasn't too soon after were were headed up the right direction. He soon slows down to point out a coyote at the side of the road. I don't see much but a shadow through the tinted windows. When we reached the top where the parking lot was
It was already closing up. We were a few minutes just after closing time. I suggested next time and that it was getting late and was time to head home.

He will see me soon enough again.

I can't believe the amount of animals we saw in one night. :/ he said it was me.

Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Night . SYL

Reason To Ration

2011-08-05T16:23:00.000-07:00

It's after work and it's time to go home as I waited for Sonia out in the hall way of our level at work as she was in the washroom I noticed in the corner of one of the offices on our floor that they have a ridiculous amount of reading materials in the waiting area of their office. Ration things out and there is a reason to do so. We are not a society of collectors. Single individuals are. We can live with the most basic items in the world to survive. We do not need more, we simply want more. You don't need so much reading materials in your waiting area, unless you're going to make your clients wait a long long time.

Duplo - Date#2

2011-08-04T23:59:00.000-07:00

I had asked him if he would like to go with me to buy some Duplo for my nephew so when he comes over to my house he has some toys to play with. B- says yes - since he loved Duplo :) .

I meet up with him just outside at his parking building at work. And we head on over to the toys r us in Richmond at landsdown mall. It took a while for me to pick out what to get him but everything was Cars related. I even got a softbox toy chest for him put all the duplo in. This however looking for it was a bit discouraging since we couldn't find it and had to ask for help. The guy checked at the back and brought one out for me since there were none of the cars ones There were these displays and what not of cars and I couldn't find the other Duplo stuff because it had turned out that the display which had Lego on one side and Duplo on the other. We found this out just a few minutes I was already ready to check out. I of course picked a set from there.

As we were lining up a little girl before us looks at us and I smile at her and said, "hi baby!" she smiles back with a little bit of shyness and hugs moms legs just a little tighter. Soon someone at the other till says that the electronics has a cashier there that can help us. We head over there. Soon enough as I was putting everything onto the counter a little baby kid was just about to run into my leg, I look down and say hello. I don't remember if he smiled back but I know his dad swooped him up pretty fast. As I was paying the cashier asked if I needed a bag. I said no as I came prepared. I said I had a bag in my bag and ripped it out. B- said bonus point to me. - did I mention we would say bonus point to one another if there would be something we found we liked about the other? :) yup. He he lped pack up the bag as I paid for the items. As we headed out of the mall another baby is playing about and is looking at me and I smile at him.

"Babies really like you." B- says
I don't know what it is really, it just started within the last year that this happened, that babies would say hello, smile or stare at me or touch me. It's hard to explain.

After we got the Duplo we loaded it into the car and B- said it was still early and asked if I was hungry. He takes me to a sushi place called Takeya Sushi in Richmond. He tells me that the owner of the restaurant used to buy from his family farm. We order some delectable I've never ate before. He asks me if I've ever tried the creme croquet. I say no and he gasps I'm shock! Like it's a must to do. He tries to order it but the waitress says they are all out.

It even says sold out on the menu - but he still tries. Determination shines through right there. The food is fresh and very good. And soon after that I thought our date would end but he soon says - it's still early. He suggests a walk. At this point I'm a bit amazed. Why? I've never dated a guy that just wanted to go for a walk. *thinking back* - piissshhh lazy asses! He drives about and I feel a bit - flushed in his presence. I might as well have been blushing the whole time I'm with him. While driving about he's looking for a place to stop as he spotted an entrance to a trail were we could have our little walk. He gets an epiphany and figures out where to go. He ends up parking facing a trail. That lead to the park entrance trail. The gravel path worries me right away. He's looking very good in his dress clothes from work, and I wonder if the dirt will be a bother. Glance down at his shoes and worry a bit but he seems un-phased about the fact and I keep my worries to myself. When we got to the end of the gravel trail - there was no real end. It lead to a T intersection trail but the surroundings were very dream like.
We walk for a bit and I said that it reminded me of a Korean movie. The grassy field which was probably a swampy marsh area.

At one point I thought I had spotted a crane - but wasn't too sure because of it's elongated neck. I tell B- but when we got closer to a certain area where I thought I had seen it it turned out to be a large dark protruding branch in the marsh. We walk holding hands down this path with the sun slowly in the evening sky - the sky is a baby blue with a white horizon that is on the brink of changing hues to the setting sun. We talk about our families, the past, how we imagine ourselves in the future. We talk about our faith and beliefs and what makes us the way we are. We walk on for a while till he thinks we should turn back. Along the way a little dog walks by and in my attempts to pet it, I fail horribly. He snubs me and walks on by. *sigh* that's alright - everyone has to face rejection.

At some point we ended up sitting on a bench. We tell each other of our geeky traits that only a few would ever know. What we used to like to watch as kids. We watch as the sun was not yet setting but the surroundings were starting to change colors. Everything looked so- fake. A moment that you know you could be dreaming and you question it. I wish I took a picture of the bench now I think about it. I wish I got a picture of the view in that moment. However - when I tried the lens flare from the sun was too strong. B- asked me if I've ever done this, just sit there and do nothing with someone. If he meant someone as in I was with - as a couple or even on a date, I really can't recall. Has it never happened? or has it been that long? I don't even remember when I sat in a state that was so peaceful like I was meditating in a dream.

When we left the bench - I believe it was then when we thought we spotted a crane / egret. This time it really was one when it moved. I wasn't crazy! :)

I realized when walking with him I looked down a lot. My shoes were covered with the dirt of the gravel path, and even his nice dress shoes were too. It was nice, just walking and holding hands and talking. It feels like something I haven't done in a long time. I was so concentrated on the now, I didn't think about what would happen I forced my head to look at my surroundings at the path we were traveling upon. The one that lead back to the car. It was soon that I announced I had to go to the washroom. We first went to a Safeway - back next to the restaurant we had dinner. The washroom was out of order. I remember watching his as he took such hold of the situation looking and asking for me where or if there was another washroom. We soon left and headed to a save-on-foods. Here I realized something. I had been in that very one before. More than a year ago. Shopping for groceries then. Now its just for a pee break. In and out and the sun was setting down and the sky was already a dark blue fighting with the glowing light blue sky at it's edges. He soon says, "I guess it's time to get you home." His tone with a little hint of sadness. "I know you want to keep me just a little longer," I said jokingly with a smile - something like that - or along the lines of - to lighten up the mood. He walked on over to the car door - opened and held it for me and before I went in I stopped and turned around and gave him a hug. Did I mention how good he looked in a dress shirt and pants? Maybe I'm just a sucker for guys who can wear suits really well. I hugged him to thank him for being him. I got into the car and started to head home. Eventually as we approached close to the highway ... or was this conversation earlier? I'm so killing the mood trying to recall the moment.

We're in the car together, and he's driving. One hand on the wheel his other holding mine. He shakes my hand a little to get my attention as my gaze was outside the window. He says, "I'm SO happy to have met you..." I smile with an exhale short sigh - my heart bubbles a little - I'm calm and I let the first thoughts of my mind escape through my mouth. I say without looking at him as I'm in a state of disbelief and a dream - I softly reply, "I didn't think you existed." It's then I grasp his hand a little tighter.

We've both been searching for that someone for a long time.
I've been looking for Mr. Awesome. Him - Miss. Awesome.

I feel like I'm dreaming everytime I'm with him.

Am I still sleeping?

Lips of Red

2011-08-03T13:23:00.000-07:00

Eating Lunch Alone it probably one of the weirdest things I could possibly think of doing but I've done it many times before. I don't particularly like eating alone, but I don't think a lot of people like to. It's the fact that you have to be alone, order something for yourself and eat it by yourself. It's so ... I don't know what the word for it was. But sometimes in life it's nice to have time to yourself. A YOU date is not so bad. Too bad this is just a lunch break. I worked so hard that I didn't have lunch until 2:00 and got back to work at 3:00 and worked till 4:00. The time I usually get off work. There has been so much work lately that there isn't much time these days to even have a good meal. Forced lunches on myself is a must considering I don't get paid for the 1hr lunch. I don't want to work through a time that I don't have compensation for. Yet most of the time I do it anyways.

Today I went to Pink Elephant Thai on my own. The first time I went there was with Sonia my Co-worker. Today I was on my own. Enjoying something nice. I ordered the Mango Salad which I didn't know was spicy till I ate it. Tried a Thai Ice Tea and had some awesome stuffed chicken wings.

I get off an it's any other day. I can't remember what else I did that day.

The Fifteenth Day - Date#1

2011-08-01T01:07:00.000-07:00

All of this will seem like a crazy story as I try to recall everything that happened. Perhaps this is just that - a crazy story. Did it really happen? - beats me... We'll just have to see.

We had agreed to meet at Joyce station - we had been communicating for how many days?... I don't remember. Today would be the first day we meet in person on our first date. He had instructed I bring a pair of sandals and an extra change of clothes for if the day took a toll on me. My grey bag seemed a bit bigger now at the station than when I started to pack it. Maybe it's the camera and camcorder. Something tells me this should be one to remember. It's so sunny the weather is a cool warm - you know one of those days where there is hardly a cloud in the sky, the air is warm but the breeze is cool. The kind of weather great summer days are made of. I arrive a little earlier than expected - about 15-20 mins. I had messaged him and he said he was on his way. As I texted him to tell him where I stood I looked up to find beside me just about less than a foot away was an old lady. It was eerie strange that she was so close to me, I had to move now cause the uncomfortable closeness to a stranger kind of weirded me out. Even though I had told him where I was standing. I then moved under a small tree by some newspaper vending machines? Now I come to think about it - what are those things called?! - sorry I shouldn't get side tracked.

He arrives and gets out of his car to walk up to me and greet me with a light hug. After he walks me to the car, he opens and holds the door open for me as I got into the car ( +1 ). He asks if I'm hungry and I said very and he says alright and we start heading over to a place to eat lunch. We drive for a while and end up heading over to UBC. He said he's taking me to try a place that he used to frequent when he went to school there.

- that's a first - I think because people on the first date chooses a neutral setting. Not somewhere they used to frequent or now do. Why? Hmm why is that? Oh because if the date becomes an utter fail. No-one can stalk the other at their favorite spot.

We go into this little restaurant on UBC called Omio Restaurant. It sits at a small corner between shops in a small complex of shops with Starbucks right across from it. As Im pretty indecisive when it comes to eating at somewhere new, I ask him to order me something good and we take a seat to talk. When our food was done he brought it to the table, it was better tasting than it looked, that's for sure. It was in the midst of it when someone walked by from behind me and dropped a package letter onto the table they had entered from one entrance and left out another. ( at this point I wonder what was happening - I even thought if I was witnessing a drug deal drop off ) The next thing I know is that his phone rings and he slides his phone over to me and I pick it up.

"Hello?" I said.
A voice on the other side speaks fast, and the noise around me in the restaurant makes it difficult for me to make out everything he's saying.
"You do not know who I am. Nor should you question it. I do not much have much time. There's no doubt you've been conned into a day of mystery. Did you not think that it was already off given your date hasn't told you a single thing? What did you expect? Your date believes his dreams to be something special. You have both been talking about dreams. And now you've fallen to become a part of his memory. Dreams are made up of cognitive images from the mind. They are often not understood and do not necessarily mean anything. But they're interesting. Consider this, did you ever consider his check-ins on Thursday night after his game of squash? He covered the majority of this area in short time. Why?
Most people do not have control of their dreams and according to what you have told him, you often don't either. I would suggest to you to play along and see what you can unravel in this short time. Over the course of this dream, you will venture into key areas of his mind. Areas that he may have forgotten and places that he has recently been. Inside is his first memory. "

I read a piece of paper that B- pulled out out of a letter envelope. He placed it before me so I read it as I ate. It was a scavenger hunt! With the next location on the note.

The fifteenth day. #15.1
#Omio Restaurant

This isn't the greatest restaurant. He knows that. And now you do too. But not everything in his life was perfect. This place was either too salty, with an overfill of sauce that wasn't really that good. But, nonetheless you have appeared here today as this place was a five year segment of his life. He frequented this restaurant as it was "good value" student grub; he came here every week and became a regular. He was known as "guy" - just like every other guy - as in "hey guy, what you want today?" Even the staff typically knew he did not want mushrooms on his dish. Eventually he even learned to order dishes that did not contain mushrooms.

The next place you want to go is West Parkade. There will be another package for you to uncover on the top floor. Your guide will take you there.

Yours very truly,
- The Narrator.

I'm still very much in the state of - "what's going on?!" as we finish lunch and head out to drive to the next location since the next clue was at a parking lot roof top. We parked the car and walked together up the stairs all the while asking each other questions learning more about one another.

Clue - 2. Here I could not see it. You're looking for something that was hidden in a sea of grey. He points in a general direction and says ... "I think it's over there" ... Lol I know that may defeat the whole purpose of the scavenger hunt but it was so I didn't fall behind on the schedule. In this clue I found an American dollar bill. With my clue. It tells me of a location of where to find my next clue by a place close to a waterfall.

The fifteenth day. #15.2
#West Parkade

For a good portion of his time here, he often parked here as his classrooms were literally 10 meters away. Do you see that building? That's called Swing Space. It was a horrible building, often very stuffy with lots of fruit flies.

He often frequented the roof top of this parkade at night. This is one of the best parkades to star-gaze on a clear night. There are few lights surrounding and it's higher up than most visible lights around it. He also took an astronomy course that taught him to point out constellations in the night sky. I'm sure in the real world, he will take you back here to do exactly that - one day.

Why did you find a green? US dollars were an essential part of his life. They still are. I'm sure you'll make good use of it today.

The next place you want to go is where near the just North of here where the water falls. I cannot give you a name of the place, because I never knew myself. It's near a Native Indian cultural centre. The next package is under some rocks near the stairs.

Yours very truly,
- The Narrator.

note: each clue I find also has some information about my date. And the specific location he hid each clue. So each clue had their own story in them.

We head on over to the next location... Along the way a wooden structure catches my eye. My natural curiosity wonders what it is and I ask B- ... I don't think he really answered my question but I remember asking him if he thought I could climb it. I think he said something on the lines that I would probably slip and die in the process of trying. Hahahaha. As we stood there I heard a sound - and we walk on over to it. It was a waterfall! And then B- said my next clue was here. *thinking* What really?! - it was natural instinct that told me to stop and question this structure too! - I open up the last clue again and read it. At this point I'm praying that I focus as I read it because I was having a case of A.D.D. - We head on down the stairs and I walk a little towards the waterfall.

The clue says the rocks and by the stairs but I looked and walked around and couldn't see anything. He had to jump in again! Lol- he stood filming close to where the clue was and pointed down to a pile of stones. He says ..."what's this that looks like a pile of stones" - seriously! - that whole area looked like random piles of stones.

The fifteenth day. #15.3
#??? That waterfall place

He used to walk down Lower Mall often to get to the Asian Studies centre. Quite often he would find someone to chill with at this waterfall place as it was typically out of the way from a lot of people. Many people didn't come here and it was quiet. He could confide in his problems here without anything written. He enjoys talking to people. He enjoys talking to you. Perhaps you two could talk here one day too. There weren't many places like this.

You found a pair of gloves. Hopefully you're not allergic to this material. I made sure I provided these gloves since they're supposed to be allergy-free. You will need them later on in your trip. You're going to be sticking your hands in pretty disgusting places.

You won't be going to the Asian Studies Centre because really - there's nothing there. And it's locked today. So the next package is at the Rose Garden. Check all the benches there. It's bound to be on one of them.

Yours very truly,
- The Narrator.

We soon head on over to the Rose Garden. I remember being there a few years back and told B- about it. He then asks if I ever came across this circular formation small structure that seemed to be a central point of four paths. He jumps up onto the circular stage like structure and reaches his hand down to me to help me up. He tells me to stand in the center above a small brass looking semi circle that is in the middle of the platform. He tells me that during University they would hold events here and use the platform as a mini stage. As I stood on top of it and spoke, a strange echo appeared. I had noticed when we walked up to the platform that surrounding the circular platform were concrete rounded benches.

We move and reach a place next to the rose garden.

Clue - 4
As we got to the bottom of the steps to a small cleared area next to the rose garden near where a building entrance sat. I believe that B- gave the clue that the clue maybe in the bushes...I quickly start walking close along the bushes and spot it. A part of me hope it was and reached in with my bare hands in between the branches to fetch the clue.

The fifteenth day. #15.4
#The Rose Garden

This is where he graduated. It was not a happy day for him. Do you know why? Maybe it's a question you should ask him when you wake up tomorrow. He never really came here until last year - far after the fact of finishing school. He was studying here for two weeks last summer. It was probably one of the greatest summers of his life. Perhaps this summer will be even better. Even I don't know that yet. I only know the past - not the future.

You see the man there selling roses by the bench? You will need to buy one. The problem is, he only accepts Canadian dollars (which makes a whole lot of sense). See if you can bargain with him. If you cannot, perhaps you'll need to exchange it somewhere.

The next location is at Koerner Library basement. You will need to find the stair path by what used to be Main Library. It has now been named as the LK Barber Learning Centre.

Yours very truly,
- The Narrator.

The clue then advises me that I need to head over to the rose garden and buy a rose from a man selling roses. Cause I will need it later on. It also says to bargain with him but then in my mind I was thinking I don't think I have any change in him. I knew what I had but I don't think it was practical but if I needed it.

As we walked into the rose garden, B then thought - "why buy a rose when you could just pick one?!"
"I know!" I said as I laughed cause I was thinking the same thing as I looked around the garden. Then soon B- points to a stranger sitting in the bench saying it was the rose man. The man gets up. He had sunglasses on so it was difficult to see his face.
"Hello Mr. Rose Man" I said, "how much for a rose?!"
"a dollar," he says .
I scrounge through my wallet and remembered I had left my coin purse in the car. I then asked if he had change. Then soon I blurted out the most ridiculous offer..."I'll give you ten dollars for the rose!" - Hey! The clue said I needed to get the rose for later. Quickly B- stops me, and blocks the rose man ( who is his friend ) from receiving the moment and said "thanks, rose man, we'll see you later." and B- begins to drag me out of the area. And I follow him to the next location.

We past a bunch of campus buildings and some I don't remember what they were called. Then there was an old library building of which he told me a ghost story about. The clock tower where people choose to suicide off of. We walk down a set of stairs that lead to this open grassy area. It looked very Jurassic Park. Like a compound engulfed by the plants around it. I was going to wander into the tall grass looking for the clue but I think B- advised me to stay away from the tall grass and stick to the bushes. There I soon see a letter and a small white box.

I fetch it from the bushes. Open up the letter and read.

The fifteenth day. #15.5
#Koerner Library Basement Outside

He spent a good amount of time here, checking out girls. Yes - this is where they all go. But he wasn't the only guy doing this. This library was packed and for a good reason I suppose. That's on the inside I suppose.

On this outside grassy area, he took a whiz here some late night in 2006 after coming back from the Science Bzzr Garden. I'm sure it's all soaked into the grass by now. I thought you should know that all guys - like dogs, pee everywhere.
You will need this box in fulfilling your journey. Take it with you
Your next spot is the sixth floor of North Parkade. You should probably take the west entrance as that's the closest way up.

Yours very truly,
- The Narrator.

It wasn't soon after we went to our next location, he points out to me the dorm and buildings where people went to go get laid. Hmmmm how disgusting I thought. We reach the north parkade we went up the stairwell to the top and I started to look for a clue. I saw a box like thing next to a large concrete slab but when I stood - ten feet from It it was just a small cement block. I said out loud that's the only thing I see up here and thought that was the clue but it does look like it... He advised me to look closer... I walk up and behind the small block was an envelope between it and the large slab. I'm starting to think I should go with gut. I rip open the letter and read.

The fifteenth day. #15.6
#North Parkade

This was the first parkade he parked in. Why the sixth floor? By the time he arrived at school, floors one to four were full. And he never parked on fifth because it was on the other side which required more walking (he isn't exactly that lazy, but...). It was the closest parkade at you are literally at the heart of campus. From here you should probably head to the roof top.

When you get up there, you may want to do something that doesn't really make much sense. But this is a dream and dreams aren't supposed to. Put your "green" into the box that you received at Koerner Library and throw it off the roof. You will need to throw it towards the Student Union Building (if in doubt, ask your guide). Make sure you hear the clunk of the box.

Head towards the east stair case and head towards the Student Union Building

Yours very truly,
- The Narrator.

I soon look through my clue envelopes and shuffling through them up at the sun ( I probably looked like a crazy person ) I was looking for the most darkest one because the bill would automatically be thinker than the other notes. I find the one with the America dollar. I put it in the box. Took a picture and closed up the box. I put away the other clues that I didn't need and walked to the ledge of the building. Soon B- tells me not to throw it off the edge that I was on. "wait! Don't throw it off that side! Security might see you!" and he soon looked for a side of the building that was okay to do this. I walk on over to another ledge and look down. I tell B- that all I saw were bushes. I didnt feel very comfortable throwing off a paper box and dollar bill in an act that feels like littering. He leads me to another part and told me to aim for the stair well for the box to go. I asked if he was sure and he said yes. I aim and throw. Soon I was told another clue was here and he points and says.. Look what's that?!

B- makes some remark saying wasn't it amazing how guys could see somethings girls can't. He was standing in such a Boss position that made me laugh. I open the letter and read.

Along with the clue was a Canadian dollar bill.

The fifteenth day. #15.7
#North Parkade - Part II/Rose Garden Revisited

OK.
At this point, you probably had another WTF moment. But hey look, you have Canadian currency now. Why not head back to the Rose Garden and speak with the Rose man?

After fulfilling this journey, continue your way back to the Student Union Building. You will probably need to look at the Notice Board in the downstairs basement.

Yours very truly,
- The Narrator.

We walk Back towards the other side of the parkade - the opposite side. The side which we came from. I was checking out the Canadian bill. I said to B- that I felt he had awesome friends to help him do all this today. And then I kept on looking at the bill- it has been a few years since I last saw one of these. It was pretty cool. B- then said - "next thing you know you don't want the rose. You want to keep the Canadian dollar." I smirked and said, "maybe" with a small laugh. We continue on our way and soon B- said , "oh look! who's that?!" ... I looked up when we reached the other side on a concrete slab- sitting was the rose man! I laughed out loud, I said hello and said I finally got a dollar to buy the rose. I give him the dollar bill and then he was looking at it. Saying it was ancient! I agreed! He handed me the rose, I said thank you and we went on our way.

Heading to the Student Union Building and since my next clue was on a bulletin board my eyes went really big when I walked into the building. There was a whole wall down a hallway that was a large bulletin board that covered with fliers. I thought I could never find the clue!

But B- lead me to a small strip area and generalized where the envelope was pinned. I looked right away and could not see anything. He soon hints that it's covered. I search closer and soon I start looking for layered fliers that look thick around the edges. I find it and get a little excited. I rip open the letter and read.

The fifteenth day. #15.8
#The Student Union Building - Part I

You probably entered from the North entrance. I was hoping you would. He never used this board in his life, but walked past it on Thursday and thought it would be a great place to post a note to you. Behind you are offices now. It used to be a giant arcade where he spent the first year on campus playing Drummania, DDR, Time Crisis and Counter Strike - yes all those classic games. It's a shame they renovated it. On your right side (if you're still looking at this board) is the cafeteria. He used to buy chocolate milk all the time at the Deli. Your guide likes chocolate milk too. It's likely your guide will stop in to get two for the journey.

You need to head upstairs somehow. You'll find some couches where he used to pass out on. Luckily he never got robbed here and sometimes found himself here the next morning. You will need to search those couches well. I would recommend putting on those gloves.

Yours very truly,
- The Narrator.

We soon head over to this area where I think we passed once before because I had to go Pee. So we returned there and soon I was searching for a clue in dirty stained couch cushions. I wondered why I needed the gloves for. B- then tells me that sometimes the homeless would come in and sleep on the couches and leave before school started or what not. Yeah they were pretty disgusting. It was difficult to pull up and even to push them back into place after I had tried looking for the clue. There was a girl sitting on the far side probably there studying and looking at me like I was a crazy person pulling up all the cushions from the sofas - but I was determined to find this clue. It so happened to be under the very last cushion I decided to look under. The place looked like a disaster after I was done with it. I tried to push back what I could.

I rip open the clue and read.

The fifteenth day. #15.9
#The Student Union Building - Part II

He spent a lot of his time in this building. Both for pleasure and administratively. He was in charge of the entire finance and cash budget for the UBC Golf Club and therefore handled tonnes of paper work. Of course, these couches back then were really dirty. They must have been replaced within the last three years. Although, it's questionable as to how I know this.

There are no more items at this point. But, there's a lot more scenery before you get to the last part of the dream.

You need to head to the bookstore. You will likely find the next clue under one of the tables. If there aren't any tables there today, you may have to look in the bushes.

Yours very truly,
- The Narrator.

We walk on over to the bookstore. He points out there are two. The discount, and the school book store. He tells me about how he used to peddle books and what not. My eyes light up again because of the amount of tables there were outside the bookstore. I soon started looking for it like a crazy person. looking under all the tables and of course it turns out to be the one furthest in and last one I look under.

The clue I found read...

The fifteenth day. #15.10
#The Book Store

This place is literally how he paid for living expenses and tuition. Every student had to find a means of living. He did not have a job during school except for that small frame of time when he was at Future Shop. He bought books. Stored huge amounts of inventory in lockers across campus and sold them to whoever needed - at a higher price of course. He learned this was generally riskless. He generally bought books from Saveonbook.com at discounted prices, entered the Book Store, and found students who needed to buy particular books.

There is an area by the Astronomy Building, near the engineering "E" on Main Mall. Under one of the benches in a clue to your next location. You're almost there!

Yours very truly,
- The Narrator.

YEAH the clue was not where it said it would be because that day my guide discovered the massive construction that was going on so had to hide it somewhere else. He gave me a large degree of area to search for my next clue but eventually I had to ask for the HOT and COLD game to see if I was getting warmer to the clue or not. I end up finding the clue in some tall green grass on the lawn of the horticulture building. I asked for a horticulture building the grass and plants don't seem to be well maintained. What's going on?

The fifteenth day. #15.11
#Astronomy Building

This area is also great for star gazing at night. He frequented this area when he brought lunch to school during the warmer months. It was also near a Starbucks where he used to order London Fogs until Starbucks branded the London Fog as their own and added $2 on top of it. Jerks.

He always thought of this place as being special. The lay out of this area kind of has a serene feeling as there's no one around. The benches, the lack of objects in the area is a bit surreal.

Your last location is on Wreck Beach. The entrance to Wreck Beach is across from Vanier Residence, and about 200 steps below the path way. To be honest, I've lost the last clue in the sand somewhere. You'll need to find it. You should look for something on the South side of the beach near the rocks that doesn't seem fitting on sand. You enter from the east of the beach.

Yours very truly,
- The Narrator.

At this point since the next clue is at the beach, we returned to the car and change our shoes. Before the date, B- had advised me to bring a pair of sandals. And the sandals was what I changed into.

So did he. We head on down from the parkade to the beach. I had never been to Wreck beach before this day. This date just keep feeling a bit .. refreshing. I was surprised though as we made our way there the amount of people that there was heading down these 400 steps to this beach. It is here where I hooked my arm onto his as in case I didn't fall / slip. Cause if and when I did, I would take him and a whole bunch of hundreds down with me. ( I'm just kidding ). Once I got the bottom. It's just filled with people on the sand few feet from one another. All naked. I have to be honest. I was intimidated, I felt as though all the naked art studies I've ever done came back to haunt me all at once... so many naked bodies... and not one I could sketch. So it didn't feel right looking anywhere. One reassurance was that when we reached the sand was when B- started to hold my hand (+1) as I started to sink into the sand as I walked. It was pretty horrible. I felt like I wanted kick off my sandals and just walked barefoot so I wouldn't be kicking sand up at myself. But you couldn't because there were little bits and pieces of wood on the sand as well. The clue I was looking for was one I could not go and dig for in the sand. There were more than expected people around where the clue was bury and it was right next to a pee station. WHY would my date choose to bury a clue here. I have no idea, so he pulled an extra copy of the clue from his bag. [ smart I say, to have back up plan clues in your back pack mr. guide.] I'm figuring just in case someone came along and took a clue I guess. Well I rip open the clue, and read it.

The fifteenth day. #15.12
#Wreck Beach

There is a man near the rocks starring at the sea. The man has realized it was his fault for the end of his last love. He seeks forgiveness, but cannot begin searching for what he needs to do. She on the other hand wishes for an everlasting friendship. Perhaps there is something you can do to intervene.
When you have done what you can, return up the steps and towards West Parkade. Your journey is near an end. Return to the car at West Parkade to return to your reality.

Yours very truly,
- The Narrator.

We searched for the man on the rocks that looked out at the sea, together we walked back and fourth along the beach a few times ... B- texted him. and his reply was that he was late. The man on the rocks was late. but then eventually we found him.
Here is the awkward part. I knew I could not just walk up and sacrifice the rose I got without saying anything . I did and I don't quite remember what I said something along the lines that he finds forgiveness and I gave him the rose. We move on as others around us were wondering why I just did that. From there we return to the car. and sitting on the passenger seat was a last note with a red rose.

I think at some point I said.. "wWhhhaaattt.??? .... HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!" .. in shock and amazement.

I open up the car door, sat down in the seat and opened the envelope and it read...

The fifteenth day. #15.13
#West Parkade

I've decided to return your rose as I've found what I've needed to do with my life. Unfortunately, I lost the rose you have given to me earlier. I've taken the courtesy to replace it with one of different colour. I'm sure it's more suiting for your life right now.

Thank you.

- Man at the Beach
P.S.: I hope your guide did a good job today.

My Guide did an awesome job! and I rewarded him with a hug. He gives me a big hug as well and picks me up a little off the ground. (+1) I love how creative this date was (+50)... when it all ended it was only 4:30 - a bit early. We soon hit the beach - Jericho beach to be exact. There were cars that were parked illegally as we went there that were in the process of being towed at the side of the road.

But where we went we - found and parked beside a park and walked to the beach, when we got there we simply sat and talked for a few hours soaking up the sun.

It was a little past 7 when we left the beach, and we headed out for dinner. On the way back to the car from the beach we actually had forgotten the direction we had came from, a little walk around the block and with a bit of guessing - we were able to find the car.

It was getting late and we were both getting hungry so B- wanted to take me to a Sushi restaurant in Steveston but when we arrived there it was closed to the fact it was a holiday. We walked around for a bit after parking. I saw something in the window of a shop which was perfect advice. -

A Greek place was open. I asked if he liked Greek food, he said he Loved it! so we ended up going there after scoping out online what it was rated. Captain Georges Taverna - was where we ended up eating some great Greek food! and having some more great conversations :)

The night ended with him driving me home, walking me to the door, a kiss on the cheek and hug for an awesome date.

I don't think anything as romantic and creative has happened to me on a date. I felt very special at the end of it all.

I went to sleep.... and the next morning I woke up and went back to the normal daily grind... back to reality.

P.S. - This thing took me forever to blog - what a crazy day it was! Happy August!

It Reminded Me

2011-07-28T11:29:00.000-07:00

As I walked towards the house - I felt so ... nervous - at first out of place, wondering if I should be even putting myself in the place of visiting but I had to. I missed the babies all so much.

Here is how I usually am. I am usually emotional before the act of something or after. Never so much during. I focus a lot of energy on being present in the moment to enjoy it. It was around 11 as I walked up and pushed the door bell button I have to relinquish any fears or doubts cause I am already in the moment. Steph comes to the door holding Flint who's a little too cute for words. I say hello to him and he gives me a little smile. As we make our way to the living room I ask if the boys were up. She said yes, they were already playing video games. As I walked in I see Lakin and Gage already standing, dropping their controllers, hesitant as they said hi to me.
Lakin approaches first as I ask they remember me. Gage says yes and gives me a hug. It was not long after as they start to play their video game and they stop soon after to ask me if I wanted to see their room. Mom quickly says she doesn't think that's a great idea since their bedroom was such a disaster. Gage quickly says that it's no problem and to give him 5 minutes to make it presentable. Him and his brother soon runs out of sight to clean their room as fast as possible. I then have time to talk to Steph a bit and give her a the gift cards I got the babies. It was soon after the boys returned to convince me to go up and see their room. I follow and notice the mini house made of boxes that was being built in the middle of their sitting room. LOL - I really thought they were moving or something. I head up the stairs and Steph warns me that there are a lot of stuff everywhere since there were renovations happening in their room as well. I walk into their room to discover toys everywhere and that the boys now share a room together. Gage then insists on fixing up his fort to show me.

It wasn't soon after till Steph was convincing Lakin to take me downstairs to draw in the cardboard box house. He took me by the hand and brought me downstairs to see the house made of boxes that sat in the sitting room downstairs in front of the fireplace. It wasn't soon after I was exploring the little paper house as he invited me to enter assuring me I would fit. I hesitated as I I'm pretty sure big people really can't fit but I smiled and said, "You're lucky I'm half the size of an average adult." :) I really don't know why I make such comments. But that's just me I guess. The cardboard house was decorated with drawings and had door cut outs and zap tie looking attachments used to make hinges. The boxes from the outside look like boxes next to each other, Some stacked on top but when you peak in they attach to one another like an underground tunnel. There was a wicked drawn portrait on one of the walls of the house.

It was very cute and represented everyone very well, and then I noticed the other drawn marks everywhere making it look like a murder scene - re-drawn out by markers. I watched as Lakin played around so well and I smiled as he approached me to help him open a pack of sweet tart candies. He was so polite and even asked how many he could have out of the pack. Gage puts on a little play for me, but he did it so fast he put on another one for me with different characters and I got to get that one on film. They, sang and acted out to Bruno Mars, lazy song. I was very impressed they knew all the words.

Baby Flint was very active wanting to crawl then there will be the part where he will just try to reach.

Gage then showed me this game he calls Dust- apparently it's a physics and chemistry simulation program / online game. You basically add elements to this drawing art board - let's say you added nitrogen, oil, and water. Gravity will bring the particles down into layers on the art board but if you add fire to the layer it will simulate water evaporating and the flammable layers of liquid / gas going up in flames burning and bringing little particles up in the air and so on. He showed me all these things and made me think he's still super smart for someone his age. Wiser then I may ever know :). There was a moment when we were playing with the box house where Gage said to mom: "mom, just trust me this once..." I smiled and laughed a little out loud when I said to Gage, "You shouldn't say that Gage, you're still very young and may use that line many times ad you grow older." - going back to Dust - he played this a little until lunch was ready. There was one point where I tried to convince the babies to go help mom with lunch. It was a bit of a battle that I lost because they ran off to check if it was one of their chores and said to me they didn't have oleo cause it wasn't a chore. I replied, "just cause it's not a chore, doesn't mean you can't help mommy make lunch." I let go of the lost battle since they were very much into this computer game. I went to go sit down at a dining table that made me feel like it wasn't so long ago I was there. But feeling and reality are two different things. I look around me and something familiar happens as I was going to go sit down at a certain spot one of the babies whine about where to be seated. Gage wanted to sit by me, then Lakin wanted to as well. We had dumplings and blue berries and carrot cake for lunch. The baby seemed to love to eat. Gage is now the fast eater when he used to be the last and Lakin is now the slower eater of them when he used to be the slower one. The boys were chatter with the baby trying to join in at times. I thought to myself that Steph really has her hands full. Especially when the baby starts talking as well. It was soon after finishing that I believe I joined Gage again in front of the computer when Steph said I would leave if that was all he was going to. We soon went upstairs after and she went to put the baby down as I continued to watch the boys. Gage perfecting his fort and constantly asking me to go into it with them. Sharing a piece of their little world.

Steph soon returns to tell me she was going to go take off and said I was welcome to stay for a bit longer. Offered the boys a deal if they wanted to go with her or stay home as she went to go run errands. Oh don't worry if your reading this and thinking Steph was just leaving the boys alone, Aunty Mary was still home afterall. The boys opted to stay, Gage also asked me to stay and play a little longer. We played for a bit longer in the boys room after she left and after a bit we headed downstairs to play some video games. The boys were playing a game called castle crashers. I however found I was really bad at the game. They were building their characters and unlocking more of the game when they gave me the "in development" player. You know those players. Still a beginner and you have to play the game to gain points in order to level him up. Yeah one of those guys. I kept dying. And the cute thing about this game was that to revive the other player that just died, another player has to go up and what seems like resuscitate the other player doing chest compressions. The boys were my teammates but they were way better than me at this game. Having to save me so much. It wasn't soon after when we were playing when the baby woke up and was already up. Aunty Mary ended up plopping him down between the boys as she continued to bake. I kept trying to make baby Flint smile at the camera, I got one or two good shots.

A little while after we ended up going back up stairs me taking baby Flint a long and as the boys played around and showed me stuff... Like Lakin showing me his fallen out tooth in a tooth keep sake. It didn't seem like long after when Steph returned with items in hand. Gage and Lakin had made glass starfishes when visiting the island. Lakin had made was more see through and Gage had more dark colors on the top side and more red. A little slip up and Flint almost poked his eye when he tried to crawl to mom and slipped. Steph picked him up right away and comforted him as he got another mark on his super cute face :( . We headed downstairs again soon after so the boys could show grandma the starfishes. It didn't take long till Steph suggested to go to Toys R Us so the kids could spend their present money. Then right away Gage asks if I would go with them... soon later Lakin did as well. I said yes of course. Then Aunty Mary also invited me to also stay for dinner... I did admit that I had missed her cooking over the years. I went with them to toys r us , helping out loading and unloading the boys in and out of the car... At the store the boys were a little indecisive about what they wanted to get.

Transformers? Lego? Yugi Oh? The different choices, but they a little while later decided on Halo Lego. For baby Flint, Steph would just pick random baby toys and place infront of flint to see his reaction and what he would do. If he liked it - she would consider getting it or not. He ended up getting a picnic basket and some toy fruits and veggies and what not. The boys got to get their Lego with mom covering the tax and baby got his presents too. It was soon after we went over to baby's world where Steph had to pick up a few things. The boys ran around being boys and baby Flint was getting hellos from the workers. On the way home Flint started to cry. Apparently Steph says that he hates car rides and their most recent trip to Whistler he cried the whole way home. I don't even know how she's going to do with the babies on the Plane. We got home and as we did there were a group of kids waiting to play video games in the living room. They ended up playing a game called 'The fat princess' and as they started to kill the characters Gage noticed the violence setting wants changed to show no blood. He quickly called out for someone to pass him a controller and he turned the violence setting down and soon passed back the controller and continued on with his Lego. I never asked if he did that because he didn't like the blood setting or he did it more for everyone else, - his baby brothers. It was quiet remarkable to witness the concern in his voice about the situation. He took the initiative and responsibility really well. Dinner was soon served and I was keeping a watchful eye on the time. If I didn't leave at the right time then I would get home in the dark. Dinner was delicious with veggies, rice and shake and bake chicken. The family and students all sat on the large dining table on the patio. Baby Flint made a mess but he ate a lot.

Gage ate faster than Lakin now. Lakin slowing at his portions. He was so adorable earlier in the day to have told me that he had lost weight during this summer. The patio hasn't changed and a part of me reminisced about the other meals shared there. The bees still buzzed about and of course they liked to stay about me. I think Steph had encouraged them to eat faster in order to play with me some more. Gage then asked when I was to leave - I said half an hour to an hour and he looks at me with those eyes and asked to make it in an hour. I agreed - never really can say no to those eyes. It was after I joined Gage after he finished eating and I had as well in continuing to build his Lego, Lakin joining in after. Even when he didn't finish but he slowly did as he was made to finish his veggies. Sometime during my Lego building Flint had to be put to bed. It seems he only reacted with a smile when I kissed his cheeks - or total flirt wave at him- he would give me a cheeky look. But i said good night and good bye to him. I helped the boys build up to a point when a piece was missing. While building I joked around to Steph asking what was the opposite of child labour. I foolishly grabbed handfuls of Lego and droping them from my hands crying "I wanna go home... I can't find the last piece :( " - lol I was just playing of course. It wasn't soon after I really had to go. The boys walked me to the front door... As I walked towards the front door through the kitchen I lifted one arm and looked back at Gage who would soon wrap his arms around me to ask when I'd be coming back for a visit. Even the front door they gave me a hug and then Steph soon suggested I exit from the back, it was far quicker. The boys soon then walked toward the back of the house going to grab the closest available shoes - which turned out to be boots. Lakin had Paul frank ones which red trim matched his red t-shirt. Lakin walked ahead of me down the steps of the back porch and at the gate he gave a hug with a tight little squeeze. It made me remember the last timed I hugged him two years ago - I had said I squeezed him with my hugs because that's how much I loved him. Pulling at my heart strings. I was about to leave before Gage shouted Wait! Wait! Giving me another hug. Waved good bye to Steph and walked down the ally to the bus stop.

As I stood there I remembered when I used to visit them except with him. He was the only thing missing but what made me all teary eyed was the thought that thought I'm alone - I am still so loved. I'm so thankful to have visited. It filled my heart up - when it was feeling drained of it.

Even though I didn't tell them. They probably knew when I hugged them. That I love them- the babies, and Steph, Aunty Mary and uncle Collin too ... Oh and wade lol even though I didn't get to see him. :)

Chance in the hands of God

2011-07-28T10:35:00.001-07:00

Chance, fate, coincidences, whatever we have come to know it as. I am starting to feel as though we are seeking to find a possibility of familiarity to make us comfortable in unfamiliar and uncomfortable circumstances. We do not like to be uncomfortable - we naturally seek a beneficial outcome of our situations. We will seek commonality.

I now wonder how difficult it is to seek someone of great compatibility with out the assistance of something. In the movies and olden days people seemed to genuinely fell in love and it seems as though they made the effort to stay in it. To keep the love between two couples. Is it so much easier for us to be selfish these days. So blinded by the other efforts? That trying doesn't seem like it's worth trying for anymore? When did we become so lazy?

Here is my contemplation on finding things worth wild. One thing to keep in mind is that you're worth it. Trying for. If you want to lose weight and find that - what is it all for. You shouldn't be so blind- you should lose weight for you. Be fit and healthy for yourself, your loved ones, your future kids, and future significant other. Without you - you'll miss out on so much. Now I don't want to say that you're better than anyone else - that you deserve more than anyone else - no. If you have a king complex - I'm not trying to feed that ego. I'm saying - prove your worth - that you deserve it. If you don't define yourself - how can you expect anyone else to see what you're made of? If you project yourself as a mess. Others will see it as so.

Loving someone requires you to be selfless. To love enough to let go, Love enough to try, love enough to be kind even when you may be standing in a pile of shit. We never intend or know how life is going to unfold for us - but for the foremost we make the best of it. Learning to be a loving person is difficult - you can try your best to be loving but sometimes it just doesn't get interpreted the right way. Even though sometimes loving yourself at some point is protecting yourself - it maybe rubbed off as selfishness. Don't ever blame others from running away from your problems. They are your own faults for you to solve. Sometimes people love themselves enough that there is no more love there to give.

I'm sitting here at the bus stop - on a day off - my bus is only 17 mins away but I know by the time I finish this that the bus would have arrived. I can call for a ride but I rarely enjoy such mornings. Walking around doing errands. Yet be timely enough to know when I need to be where without missing the bus. Enjoying the sun :) and actually seeing it. Being stuck in an office. I kind of feel this yellow bench is short to sit on- but then again I'm slouching down lounging :) I can't help it. I just dropped 300$ on present money for some babies... Before that I hit up staples and got some coin wraps and donated 10$ for some supplies for kids when they go back to school. My purchase in total was like 16$ with the donation. :/ do you think it will make a difference. I would like to think every little piece helps. The help at staples was wonderful. The girl behind the counter even complemented me on my necklace and bracelets :) I like to think I have some kind of fashion sense but I'm really one of those asian girls that rather define a style than follow one. I woke up this morning with a smile and I wonder if it will end just as good as it started. A piece of my heart is excited for that next month has to bring since the beginning of this July was tough to bare. I know it will start off with a wonderful surprise. A lot of people did say 2011 was going to be a good year :) but nothing is good and awesome unless you give the effort to make it so.

Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Night . SYL

Goodbye - Hello - Life

2011-07-27T21:53:00.000-07:00

I had an adventurous day as well. In the morning I woke up and texted my friend Ben who I haven't seen in months. We were supposed to do breakfast but ended up doing lunch cause we're so lazy to wake up early. Well I am for the time being cause - hey I'm on vacay time. Ben teases me about being single and I tease him about him and his girlfriend. We end up having lunch at Cattle Cafe in Burnaby.

There was a baby that sat next to us that was 2 and as he left I said goodbye and shyly he waved goodbye to me but snubbed Ben... Lol. Ben then after helped me swing by Ry's to pick up the remainder of any items left over and dropped off the remainder of his that I had. We didn't even say hi or bye as we did our exchange - he was on the phone so we just waved and I simply just left. By the time I was back in the car I realized my shoes were not in the bag. I didn't care - I can buy new pair of white heels. Those were scuffed and scratched to heck. Soon after Ben drops me off at Nanaimo skytrain station and head downtown to pick up my final package from work that arrived allows me to finish up my ring light build. After I got that - I booked it back home to quickly change and head back out to meet up with Chris who picked me up at Joyce station. We head back to his place as he changed and got ready for for our run and soon after James joined us and we headed over to the track. I do a walk and jog around the track a couple times non-stop as the guys did their own run and walk around the track.

After our run we head back to Chris' to check out where we would go out for dinner. We end up going to Romer's. A burger place that just opened up not too long ago. The food was delish and after that Chris and James dropped me off at home. :)

Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Night . SYL

First Playoff Game

2011-07-17T15:53:00.000-07:00

I'm writing about this day after the fact that it's passed. I can't really call what happened this day, but I know the weather wasn't nice for most of the morning. I think - if the rest of the weather is going to be like this for the rest of my vacation days, I'm going to be a bit depressed.

Sometimes they say the road to recovery is to keep occupied. They are either right or just avoiding the facts of what happened because they don't want to face the situation. No - I've said my peace, dealt with what I had to this week and simply letting it all go. My friends, new and old somehow all of a sudden seem to now return to fill the void. I feel now like I'm no longer turning down my friends as I did slowly this past year. I need to find the perfect balance of keeping a relationship that doesn't cut into my creative productive times. I should not be directing my love for one thing towards the wrong things. Loving wholly and all the time can drain you, especially if the two things are so different. Perhaps I am in need of searching for someone that can be one and the same. Perhaps I should start to abandon the thoughts of that "someone" because maybe, just maybe they don't exist. Yeah, I really don't want to believe that.

I don't think I can recall someone who claimed they liked me and really worked hard at winning my heart. You can be someone that is very likable- but are you so worthy of being won over? Is there someone that loves you so much that will jump through hoops to prove their love to you? Or has it all come down to the point of them telling you and just expect you to choose? No proof - no more words than a few lines, are simple little words like "I love you" supposed to just be enough? Then there are those that say "I shouldn't have to try." Perhaps the worst set of little words you can hear. If it's love - people should try, if they really love someone, trying is all they got left when there is nothing else to lose. Trying is the only stand point you can create and it is then effort represents more than just heart, but courage and faith.

Words - can be written and be easily misunderstood. There is no author to read you specifically how the phrases are emphasized, spoken with emotion / no emotion. In the end words are all we have in a ways of communcation because actions now-a-days are so easily misinterpertations of what we are truly what we want to say. Have we all become so easily influenced by our surroundings that we will conform to what is expected of us? Why must it be so difficult to just be ourselves? We are living in a generation of open expression, yet we still are so mindful of what others think of us. I'm not saying we shouldn't be mindful / considerate of others. I'm saying - be aware of what it is you truly want, be thoughtful in your words, but express enough of yourself the rightous way where you will regret nothing in the end because you will always be who you are.

As I left for the game that day to head down to the King Edward Station. My walk to the bus stop was rainless - It is in these moments I feel as though God watches over me like a wonderful parent. Why do I say this? Well I'm carrying so much stuff that I have no free hands or space for an umbrella, and I wasn't wearing a waterproof jacket. In the few moments of me having to make it to the bus stop to catch my bus - it stops raining. On my way there as I sit on the train to make my way down to my destination the rain continues on. I have to be thankful for the little things that make me feel so loved. Chris my godbro and his friend comes to pick me up at the station :) - Chris did a little trick on me pretending to be James - texting me saying that he couldn't make it.
I text Chris to say that James isn't coming and what not, but he told me to stay put. James then texts me to tell me he's 5 mins away then he drives up with Chris in the passenger seat. Apparently it's been Chris the whole time. James then tells me that he wouldn't do that and just abandon me. I show up at the game and we lose in over time. The sadness of losing doesn't really hit me until we were at the Japanese restaurant in Richmond called Ajitaro, apparently you can't leave left overs or they charge you. I guess it just comes with the territory of an all you can eat place. I picked up the bill for the guys as they took the time to chauffeur me. I don't get home till really late and just went to bed soon after.

Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Night . SYL

Recalling Wednesday, Thursday, Friday

2011-07-15T17:53:00.000-07:00

The morning passes just like any other work filled. No distractions this time. Esjay calls me out latter that day to deal with some work issues we're having re-working the site. Something not even I can figure out is wrong. We did however write out a skit that's been in my head for a while. Maybe well flush it out this August. We brainstorm and even start to talk about other skits. But the night ends and Esjay drops me off later than evening.

THURSDAY: work - same - lame. No - I'm just kidding. I like my job. I just don't like dealing with people that don't let me leave when there is a last minute request.

Today was a nice day - I had such a people filled week that it was my time! And I loved it - after work I went shopping since I had missed the bus home. I went to go buy credits for my ps3 and then came across a sale I could not pass up. I got new blazer spring- summer tops, some tank tops, dresses, some long sleeves for colder days. Little did I know that this day would also become EPIC.

As I walked off to the bus stop to catch my bus home- I waited. A black man perhaps in his mid to late 30's approaches me. He taps me on the shoulder and asks me what I am listening to. ( I am a particularly shy person who's trying to be more sociable so I go with it) He gently takes the bud from my right ear and places it in his. ( Yes! This has never happened before but I'll play nice for now) Some music starts to play and great it's one of Justin Timberlakes remixes. Which kind of has an African beat. The guy then starts to say to me a series of unbelievable pick up lines. So unbelievable that I could not at all believe what was really happening. My responses were just coming out of my mouth. It was awkward. Here are just a few lines from this epic meeting of a stranger.

GUY: "This is some nice music, what is your name?"
ME: "Sze"
GUY: he repeats my name and tells me his name. "Acole"
He then proceeds to ask my age and I hesitate in telling him ( like all women) I tell him, what is it going to hurt.
He then says I'm too old jokingly saying he's looking for a 21 year old.
GUY: "what's your name?"
ME: "I already told you my name, if you're not going to remember what's the point of me telling you?"
GUY:"you a clean woman, your lips, your teeth... My place is not clean, I cannot bring a clean woman like you home."
ME: "Well I guess you should go home and clean your house so you can bring home a clean woman."
GUY: *laughs* "you're so smart, why are you so smart? - are you married? have a boyfriend?"
ME: "I am not married and do not have a boyfriend."
GUY: "why? - Are you a good woman?"
ME: "Depending on the man."
After a while of small chit chat and me trying to be nice, the guy's friend comes and tries to retrieve him. Acole tries to convince me to walk him home but I'm smart enough to refuse the offer saying I had to wait to catch the bus. Soon after the whole incident makes me feel awkward as he brushes the hair away from my face and then tried to brush hair away from my necklace.. I smack away his hands that tried to go any lower adding that was it was rude to do. He persists to ask me for my phone number and my reply was that I don't give out my personal information that way with my apologies. Soon I check my phone to notice that the next bus time I was looking at was the wrong bus number and I quickly added that I thought it was time for me to go. I say goodbye and make my way down to the next bus stop. I turn back half way on my walk to the next stop to make sure I wasn't being followed.

At this point I don't know if it was safer for me to be single - or not.
There is a reason I'm shy and guarded and perhaps this incident with this random strangers shows that I'm a bit too nice at times. I go to visit my sister the next day. I tell her what happened and she thinks and knows I'm too nice and she thinks I should have just been rude to the guy from the start. The fact is that I'm just not that kind of person. I'm nice because I am, I shouldn't feel violated trying to be open to strangers. I'm not dumb enough to let people take advantage of me to the point of emotion scaring.

As I left this friday from my sisters house my nephew hugs me hard for the first time and says goodbye. Sometimes it feels like he's the only one that makes me feel like I still have a heart, that I've got some kind of soul that aches for so much more in life.

Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Night . SYL

Recalling Tuesday

2011-07-12T20:19:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy week! I'll be honest I don't know if I'd want to recall Tuesday - at all. Early afternoon that is. It was busy at work, but not only that - I had to deal with some personal interruptions. It ate up my lunch hour and partly into work. It was then I had to call for assistance on a friend to help me out. Working hard and with emotional disruptions is inappropriate. Brink of tears nearly. July has perhaps made me cry the most this month. I said the other week to a friend - "Stupid July, keeps making me cry." Too many emotions stirring. Too many personalities to deal with. I had to get my mind off of it. Shalini messages me to let me know she was going to hit up Can Am Importique. If you're a Vancouverite and haven't visited this place, you should! Epic Awesomeness! Well the last time I was there was 3-4 years go, my brother threw a halloween party at the location. This time I was able to encourage my friends to hit it up for some props or ideas or even a location to shoot. Shalini & Vik and a new friend was waiting as I arrived. Raymond - a Vancouver events photographer. It's always nice to meet someone new, especially when I'm trying my best to be open and outgoing. We meet the one of the guys that run place and he walks everyone into the showroom. Shalini as I predicted was pointing at everything :) and loving all the sites.

There are more pics but I'll add them on a little later on. Pics that were taken by Raymond. A little bit of walking around and it was until were on the last part of the place which was the outside Brian came and joined us. After a little bit of walking around and goofing off - I realize I should have done a mini video in there - but I was too tired. Being there with friends however did really help me to take my mind off of the events that had unraveled earlier that day. Actually I would say that it took almost all of the bad residual emotions away - which is always a good thing. While we were there, I thought up of some skits which I hope will get to be brought from idea to life! I hope being there did help Shalini in moving forward with her dreams. Singularly I feel we are powerful - collectively, indestructible. As we come together to help lift one another a little closer to something more than just success / fame - perhaps it's helping one another reach our own definition of true happiness in life.

I think of something Ry wrote to me earlier that day - he said I seem to throw love all over the place. I'm not going to lie, it's true - it's not something I particularly feel is a bad thing at all. Someone also once told me that it seems like I wear my heart on my sleeve. I maybe small but I have a lot of love to give. The world needs more of it. It's not difficult to tell when I'm sad / upset .. my emotions are clearly written here. I am naturally a very loving person. If others get the wrong impression of me then they clearly haven't taken the time to really know who I am. If I love someone all the wrong ways then clearly I've failed in loving them. However we must know what makes us ourselves feel loved and communicate it well to get what we are seeking. Sometimes we don't know what we truly seeking until we begin to lack it.

Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Night . SYL

Recalling Monday

2011-07-11T07:09:00.000-07:00

This has been one busy week! Monday started off with me bringing my hockey gear to work. I had made dinner plans with a friend but he had forgotten to get back to me about it and ended up canceling on me later in the morning. Emergency changes. I hate how something that was planned just changes your whole day. You don't plan out days with a plan B do you? Well I ended up calling out my friend to help me out. Monday's is usually when a group of my God brother and his friends get together and do stuff together. Now they've added exercise into that routine. James - an acquaintance that I know through my God bro for some time now picked me up just outside of Oakridge station. Driven back to my God Brothers place as we waited for him to return from home, and soon his friends started to show up and got ready for their run around the track. That's just a walks away from his place. After a few laps for me around the track walking. The boys running of course. I walked considering that I didn't have running shoes. They did some other drills too but I didn't join in for that fitness fun. Soon after we went back to Chris' place and got our stuff and headed over to his friend Vince's place. Vince's family dog is absolutely adorable - when I first heard him bark I thought it was a person barking - imitating a dog barking. But he's this little adorable Shih tzu dog. Always hyper seeing people and at one point he was licking my face.

There was Chinese food for dinner and soon after the boys whipped out the PS3 and started to play NHL hockey. As I got ready to leave and go play roller hockey. Chris accompanied me to roller hockey. He actually knows and went to high school with the guy that plays goalie for my roller hockey game. The night ended with humbling conversation that made me realize that I'm truly grateful for having awesome friends.

Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Night . SYL

Creative weekend

2011-07-10T08:04:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy weekend - Saturday with spending time with Chris and John. God bro and one two awesome friends. We went to the sandwich shop, La Charcuterie Salam the shop owner had just gotten into a car accident the past week and I couldn't even believe that he was at work. His car got hit by a semi from behind as he was on the freeway. It's amazing he wasn't in more seriously injured - like dead or totally bed ridden with broken bones. The amazements of car safety. Well the three of us got there - there was one man and one came in as our order was being made. In total the three of us ordered 2 sandwiches each. It's funny that I say "sandwich" to describe this beast of a sub sandwich because I feel it's in a league of it's own.
By the time we left the shop was filled with 8-9 people that had come in all the while our sandwiches were being made to the time we left.

Wait - I didn't tell you what happened earlier that day. Not to me but to Chris! - on Thursday he had planned to go to the sandwich shop with John and he invited me along with him. Well that Saturday morning - Chris's car unfortunately gets hit in a hit and run. Don't worry - he wasn't in the car. He had been getting ready to leave when his landlord knocked on his door to tell him the bad news. So he spent most of that morning - dealing with car crashing bastards, the police, and neighbors. But there is one thing he learned - how awesome his neighbors are. Sometimes in life we have to see the good out of the situation. Although something may have been lost, there is always something to gain. After the sandwiches I was dropped back home. I re-arranged the downstairs so it was more tidy and logical. My dad comes with concerns and asks of my brother knows. He's in Australia and has been for a year+ it doesn't really matter if I move stuff. Stuff could be moved back.

Sunday was a long yet creative day. I was picked up in the morning by Vik, where we soon went to go pick up Brian. We headed to pick up Shalini at her house, it was soon that we headed over to the studio of Winston Hauschild. We spent the rest of the afternoon listening to the final edits to Shalini's album that's to drop sometime this fall. We left around noon and soon headed off to Red Robins to get some lunch. We soon started to discuss the cd packaging and what could be a part of this debut package to promote. After lunch we headed over to Oscars book store on Boundry. We were in there for a bit before returning to Shalini's house to brainstorm some more. I goofed off on the piano. We then brainstormed some more and mocked up some design ideas. We didn't get home until 11pm or so. It was a refreshing day or creative productiveness. Nothing ever seems long in good company.
On the drive home I witnessed my first ever shooting star. Vik saw it too, too bad Brian didn't.

Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Night . SYL

Loving Gestures

2011-07-06T19:38:00.001-07:00

There are something's that when in a relationship people don't realize they do / don't do that rub the other person in the relationship the wrong way. When one asks the other to accompany them somewhere, whether it is to an event, a dinner, a store, a place... There are those of us that out of a loving composure - do not refuse / complain we will just do it. I am one of these people. Why? It's not because I'm a pushover, not because I'm super easygoing. It is purely out of love. I will accompany you and not refuse because where or what it is - it matters to someone I love. That is all the reason I need not to question / complain. If someone complains in my presence of following through with something - it is an unloving gesture- but if they end up following through after showing a bit of discontent - then the gesture though with the intention of love will be shrouded with the emotion of guilt. Loving someone should not be so difficult - it simply is the sacrifice of time and personal discomfort. But if so many things bother you in the doing those loving gestures to the person you're in the relationship then surely you should re-evaluate just what that person means to you and how much you really love them or want to love them. How content / ready are you to even be in a relationship to give yourself to them - time, love, effort?

When going into a relationship - I have realized that one should never detour from top 10 qualities they are seeking. Everyone has this list - they might not realize / admit it - but what do you think makes you decide that that person is one who's worthy of being your husband / wife, your girlfriend / boyfriend? And if you don't know what it is you seek in a relationship then you should think about what you want in one and stop looking for and spending time with the wrong one.

I have learned that I should go with gut. Especially if it scares me. It is not the fear of it failing - never be afraid of failing. There is no such thing. Every failure is a lesson. You face it as such. If it makes you retreat then do so. Do not be ashamed or afraid of going back to where you once were to get to where you really want to go. It's like giving up something you really like for something you really need. Although you love what it is you have now, the success of obtaining what you truly want above all else will be well worth the sacrifice.

There was an event last week that made me feel very disgusted with myself. My self worth went to an all time low. I had to do a drastic change and I did. If you don't cherish or realize your self worth or do not make steps to do so, why should anyone else invest in you?

My friend said to me today that he felt as if the world is out to get him. No, I wanted to say. I see it very differently the world is out to give me. Give me what is what we're really here to find out.

We part ways after our meeting and as I get to Granville station a small florist shop is closing up. I see a bouquet of peonies and so it reminded me of my art teacher. She loved them. I decide to get them. I asked as they were closing up if I was able to purchase something. Her reply, "of course". I said I would like to get the bouquet of peonies. She asks if it was a gift. At first my tongue slips and I want to say no- and I told her it was more like a gift to myself. I hadn't gotten flowers personally since - Valentines? and I didn't even get them on Valentines... *sigh*

Last night I was chatting with a friend. He tells me that him and a few others miss me. <3 Sometimes we never really know how much love you have for someone till the absence of them is felt.
My friend Esjay just put out a new beat today - called The Butterfly Effect and I loved the beat- I walked into a store as I was talking to him and spot a shirt that had a butterfly and I inquired as I looked at the shirt and had him on the phone if the beat had any lyrics. He said no and that I was free to do what I felt. I guess some lyrical writing is to be done tonight :)

Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Night . Where ever you are - SYL

There Are No Winners

2011-07-04T08:46:00.000-07:00

There Are No Winners
In a break up. Both sides will always lose a person that will never mean the same to one another. The moments they had will become beautiful stories that will only be recited years down the road or never again. About a love that once blossomed- somehow. There are often times as we sit in the midst of the break up and recovery there is the angry faze. Some of us may get over with one thought, others will resurface all the resentment they've ever felt each moment during their relationship. One may name all they've done out of love. One will never do that because they don't believe that's a loving thing to do.

In the break up aftermath - I guess we must watch our words. On both sides. Regardless of the emotions. I failed to do so with so many other inter-activities and persons around me.

The heart is heavy. And broken due to a long conversation with one I once cared for. Is there ever going back? Can words really be taken back - when they have already done their damage?

We must let go to move on.

I had a strange dream about going on a trip. I walked into a large elevator that took me to a level that was it's own city. Chinatown of some city I don't really remember.

Over slept this morning. Thought I would be a little late but then I come to discover the universe works in mysterious ways and there was an incident with the train so regardless I would have been late this morning. But on my way I saw a rainbow and peonies :)

Giving In - Giving Up

2011-06-30T07:33:00.001-07:00

Giving In - Giving Up
I've been thinking about the future of my relationship with Ry. I want to help him with what stresses him out the most and help him relieve some tension about that subject but it doesn't help when he feels he should deal with it on his own and that he is. No - dealing with it for the last year. And what has changed? Was there a plan? And did it follow through to this year? What was sacrificed? What was gained?

My back hurts - my diet is not the best right now cause of me feeling sick on and off. Maybe after work when I get home I'll go for a run. Or should I go visit my sister today? :/ Hmmmm. The choices.

I miss DJ - he'd post an update on Facebook at times but :/ I hope he's safe. Lol - he told me not to worry - and whoever is dumb enough to mess with someone who was just there to train for Mui Thai - deserves a butt kicking.

I officially feel - stuck.
Unhappy. And disgusted with myself for reasons I won't explain.

But I know things will get better because I just have to take that first step. No matter why step it is - it will be one for the better.

Breaking Hearts

2011-06-29T07:25:00.001-07:00

Breaking Hearts
Some say that it's hard to be single. No it's probably the easiest thing. Hard is breaking the heart of someone you truly care for. Things are not the same - and no matter how hard you try, will it be the same? When things have already changed? Trying is better than giving up - right? I no longer know what is what anymore.

Sometimes I feel change comes a little too late - their time limit to show what they have to offer is up. Either one or both will feel short changed and the love is not the same love because of one clear fact - the honeymoon is over. And in their own ways both sides will feel like a sucker. And slowly nothing will ever be the same.

I'm tired - been feeling sick on and off for the last few weeks. Almost everything I eat gives me a stomach ache - the reason I said almost because the only thing I recall that don't are fruits. Maybe I should just eat fruits for a while.

Yesterday I met up with Esjay to go over stuff - what ended our meeting was that his power plug outlet into his notebook gets pushed into the computer and now he has no way to charge it. Which sucks. He may be out of a computer for a month.

I uploaded the images and whatnot from a few things this last week. Will post and update this blog soon ... I hope

How would you love me

2011-06-22T07:29:00.001-07:00

How would you love me

How would you love me if all my days were yours? Would we walk along the gravel or the beaches shore? Would you hold my hand with pride and claim to the world I'm yours? would you hide my name in shame and let no one know? Would you say "I love you" and mean it - every word? Would you hold me tight at night and give praise that I'm your girl? Will you make me smile and laugh - every single day? Make me happy with our adventures and have our times of play? Will we seek the sunsets and sunrises on those special days? Will you make me a hearty breakfast with some sausage and some eggs? Will you give me a special nickname or simply call me "babes"? Will you show your love and affection no matter our dismays? Will you find a way for me to fall back in love with rain? Kiss me and hold me close on sunny, rainy, snowy days? Would you leave me morning messages - to dress warmly cause it's cold? Make silly faces in our pictures to laugh at when we're old? Would you treasure every snapshot - hug me close and smile big? Would you love me like a queen cause I would love you like a king. How would you love me? Simply watch over me at times ? Remind me now and then - that I do still cross your mind? Would you always love me - no matter how near or far. Would you keep the love you have for me buried in your heart? Would you kiss and hug me every time we part? Want to cuddle close and blanketed to watch our movies just at home? Make an Occasion now and then to celebrate just how we have grown? Would you surprise me on random days with flowers or a gift? Know my favorite snacks to get when I'm needing of a lift? Or would you love me so very much- and never want to see me sad? Would you cease that opportunity to take my heart in hand? Would you send me little emails signed with kisses at the end? Tell me that you missed me with every text you send? Would you cook for me delicious works of art? Taking me camping to sleep underneath the stars?

How would you love me if these were my last days?

Running On Low

2011-06-18T01:24:00.000-07:00

I asked my sister and a dear friend a question:
If you had to choose between

someone that gives you tingles - but you don't have fun with.
OR
someone you have tons of fun with but no tingles.

Who would you choose?

Neither of them said any particular one - it's pretty hard choice.

I'm running on low, have been working hard - spending hard too to catch up on the things I really really want to do and produce.

Downtown work has been hectic - our company is growing. I actually worked a 13 hour day. That was insanity! but after wards my boss took me to dinner.
He thanked me for the hard work that truly without me he doesn't know where we would stand today. He assures me our company is going to grow. I feel this updated change as well. I mean when I started working there was I would say the brink of 2008-2009? It wasn't soon after when we updated our computers - now another overhaul this time computer and programs. We're taking on more clients than ever and even feel overwhelmed on some days when I'm on my own. Things need to get done - more things coming in, and then there's a chain of priority that just bumps everything out of place. I'm stuck learning new things that I particularly don't want to learn ( cause I don't really know how well this new founded knowledge will really help me ) It just seems like more of a developer thing than a designer ordeal, that's all. I shouldn't complain. Getting paid to learn on the job should be a bonus.

I haven't had very much fun lately, it doesn't help my relationship at the moment that I haven't done anything fun either. I can't really take time off till later in the month - but that's when Ry has to go back to work. On our one year - we celebrated and then moped the loss of the Canucks. And then a few days later to loss of the Stanley Cup! - I had originally thought it would be nice and awesome to eat somewhere downtown / close by and watch the game - be in a people setting. - WHY? Because I missed out on the Olympics - I didn't get to see the venues / attractions cause I worked and the person I was with at the time just wasn't all that interested either. I know it doesn't take having with someone to have fun - but if it's someone you want to experience life with - you should experience life with them right? Excitement - loss - win? I feel at times I expect more - I would like to experience more - not the same old same old. My life becoming something rather a bit - sad. A little depressions been sneaking up on me and I'm fighting it. I wear masks very well to hide it.

I miss some things - very much - that I didn't think I would in / from relationships. The snuggles and cuddles - a nickname - the I love you's. What I once thought didn't fill my love well has now made me miss the thirst of a certain way of being loved. When I don't get it, I don't feel it and I feel a bit lonely. I now know what someone was once trying to convey to me, I understand now - what I could not back then. It took time, perspective and experience to understand.

A Long While

2011-06-13T08:09:00.001-07:00

A Long While
It's been a long while since I blogged. I wonder if anyones missed me. I've officially breached 600 on YouTube and 100 followers on twitter. Any much of a prize? Not really. I wish I did more to work towards the fan base to cultivate it but I'm not a robot and there just aren't enough hours in the day.

The Canucks are playing tonight and I hope they win. The city would go nuts! And so much more love would bubble over our city. There just isn't enough in this city that to me seems to grow a little cold sometimes. But I shouldn't say that.

Yesterday I went to Eat Vancouver. I'll post some pics later. I saw a Canucks cake - it could have been better. I snacked on bread - chips - yogurt - sorbet - sausage - somosa - rice - miso - oyster - raspberry beer - had a margarita . Yeah got a little buzzed - all in one place! I thought it was interesting. On my way there however I was walking to the skytrain. A man with 2 chocolate labs are barking out the window. It scares me a little and I laugh it off. The man pulled over to a car park a head. As I keep walking another man asks where the skytrain station is. I point and say just up the street. - he thanks me and drives off - I soon come across the man with the two dogs as he pulls out of a parking lot. He apologizes for the dogs having scared me. He then says he'd offer to give me a ride to the skytrain but I was already so close to it. I said it's fine with a smile and waved good bye as I kept on walking. My skytrain ride was shorter than expected and I was soon at waterfront station. On my way out I notice a couple that seemed a little lost. Seeing they were dragging with them some luggage- I asked if they were going to the airport? They said yes. I pointed to them the opposite side of the platform and said they had to go that way. They thanked me and I went on my way. I make my way to the Vancouver Convention Centre and on the way - a man walks up. He said "SaaaaAaaa..." on the middle of him saying this I thought he was saying my name - which in my mind I thought - I don't know this guy- he then finishes word with "....vvvvee" he hands me a flyer. Damn it - there's one thing being a graphic designer - another is getting someone else's horrible job of a flyer! As I got to the entrance of the convention centre I call John and we soon meet for a great first time experience at Eat Vancouver!

Well I've been standing in heels this whole skytrain trip to work and my feet are starting hurt a bit so I'm off.

Have a good morning - good afternoon - good night.

Missing a piece of me

2011-05-27T07:29:00.001-07:00

Missing a piece of me
And I can't put my finger on just what- it is I'm missing. Maybe I'm just tired from working 8 hours with 2 hours of travel on top. I sleepy. But I feel - sad.

I think I should start to really draw out my story. - book - that is - graphic novel? Are there popular online graphic novels? - I wonder. Bigger question is will people read it?

Maybe it's a little of the family matters. That's just getting me down. Lots of changes about to go on and I really just feel like - hibernating.

Sometimes I just think of packing up and leaving - and then I wonder - where would I go? - what would I do?
I stopped doing the YouTube thing for a while to find inspiration. But I find none and I feel like emotions are down and out. My friends are all picking up as the summer is coming about and I am so proud of them and I feel - stuck.

Selfish thoughts lead no where. With Stories still untold, and a future to behold.

Loved

2011-05-24T07:32:00.001-07:00

Loved
There are random days that go particularly well and I can't help but feel a bit loved by someone watching from above. How mysterious it is the little things. For me this morning is that a specifically long light crossing changes just in time for me to catch the bus. That rarely ever happens.

Well that's probably the only story I have today. I spent my weekend at the bf's cleaned his place as I was there watching movies to kill time - looking and doing some calculations of financials and and checking up on side work.

Fei ( our grey cockatiel ) was taken yesterday. He seems to be in a mess since Pidge died. Like he misses him or he could just be wanting not to be alone. But he hates people. My dad thinks he knows he's dead and gone. I think Fei is just THAT stupid not to know he's dead... Just thinks maybe he went missing or hid or what not. I kind of miss Pidgeotto - he was very cute in his quirky ways. There was this one time I was working out and he wanted to watch me or play with me. He flew over to the weight set and perched himself there and watched by my side as I worked out. He then proceeded to try to land on me and then to the ground as he proceeded to graze on the hardwood floor. Quirky is the only way to put it. My sister came over for dinner yesterday with baby and Peter. Ethan is as cheeky as ever. I see a little of my brother in him as he starts to talk gibberish to everyone. Yup that makes me think of my bro. It's a bit mean / cruel to say but hey when the shoe fits.

I really should start to paint again. I have ideas in my head and all I ever really do need to do is just - start.

Its all we ever really do to take steps towards what we ever truly want.

Now the question is should you ever wait for someone to catch up to what you're striving for? Especially when you want it to be together?

What's another year? I ask myself.
And then I wonder- do I have another year to give?

Bye Bye Pidge

2011-05-19T07:49:00.000-07:00

Bye Bye Pidge
My heart's a little heavy this morning. Last night I come home and walk by in the dark to hear the birds in a frantic. More than the norm. I turn on the light to find Pidgeotto - a yellow cockatiel we've had in the family for ten years plus - stuck and bleeding and in a panic. I rush to help him - I quickly open up the cage and try to support him. He was holding on with his beak pretty hard. Apparently he had probably slipped and got stuck between the cage and the feeder, his right wing caught between the bars of the cage. Both wings bleeding. He must have been panicked and flapping and stressed for a while. I shouted for my dad as he was sleeping upstairs. It takes him a few minutes to respond and when he showed up he helped me push his caught wing back into the cage, at that moment I feel him no longer grabbing onto my finger, he let go of the cage and when we freed his wing and I think we've saved him, he slips from my hands like butter and lands on his back and I and his eyes slowly a his eyes. And right there we knew he had just died. My heart is heavy - but I can't even imagine how long he's been stressed and stuck like that - that overwhelmed him. Irony of it all was that he was just a weekend away from being given to a better home and family. Our family had finally decided to get rid of the birds and give them away. Me and dad took Pidge out of the cage to check for sure he was dead, and placed him back in for half an hour for Fei to know, Pidge was dead. However it was when we were just about to wrap him up and get rid of him when he started to make a lot of noise. - even this morning as I pass by- I feel he's in a panic and just realizes Pidge was absent. Fei loves Pidge- I should say loved - but I think he still loves him regardless. But Pidge was just annoyed by Fei most of the time. They fought but the kind of fight for interaction sake on Fei's behalf.

I end the night washing my hands of his blood - Doing some work before hitting the sack. As sad as the moment is and how much it sucks to not have saved him. My emotions are pretty good- I have not cried yet for his loss - but I hope in the end he knew we loved and tried to save him.

Before that night - my day was normal. Went to work and decided to go for a visit to my sisters and baby. Ethan's getting so big so fast. So adorable that I was sharing some ice cream with him. A waffle cone. Apparently he loves the chocolate and peanut cover and waffle cone. He loved the waffle cone so much he almost had a bit of ice-cream go up his nose for the sake of wanting to take a bite of the waffle cone. A little later in the evening he ends up feeding me - some grapes that is. It was pretty cute how he walks up to me with a grape in hand. I offer my hand out to take it and he refused cause he wanted to feed it to me. If there is one thing I notice is that our family is big on feeding as a way of love.

Well I'm almost at work. And I'm gonna wrap this up. I'm still going through and selling items on eBay. It's going pretty good but I wish things sold more easily. I'm now fighting the urge to buy more stuff. I think I'll try to sell more stuff before doing so.

A Long While

2011-05-17T07:36:00.001-07:00

A Long While
It's been a long while since I've written anything - just space and time are against me. If I'm not seated in the early mornings to blog- then I won't blog. If I'm not on the travel - I won't blog. But I like time to myself. And rarely get to say what's on my mind.

Well just yesterday felt like craziness and mayhem - there seems to be no such thing as doing things quietly at home - even when it comes to finding papers. It's like blame city. I know what and where important things are - my family number one issue - listening. Cause we lack that sincerity of one another - just to listen. I started to put up my wall against them a long time ago - one thing always leads to an insult. Or that's how I feel. If I never brace myself at all times - I wouldn't be here and that's a sad honest truth.

I am now selling lots of things on eBay. One - to get rid of stuff. Two - make money back. Three - it will make it easier when I find a place and move out. I thinks about time - I don't think I can take anymore of the barely sleeping nights as footsteps seem to stomp around the house with an insomniac mother. I barely get enough sleep when I am home and - I play catch up sleep when I sleep over at the boyfriends. Exhausting is trying to juggle everything - travel - work - relationship and friendships. I'm glad to say I don't have to worry about finances as I've automated a lot of my savings from now on. - I'm upset that my dad keeps bugging me about my license - how on earth can I get it when I don't enough practice time to even be comfortable behind the wheel? I don't have time / the money at the moment to go and sign up for more driving classes and to pay them to use their car for the road test. When I signed up for my classes the first time I knew this would be my problem- when everyone around me saying not to pay for the full program cause they'll take me out. And reliability is so low - when people pull through for me - is what surprises me. I heavily grew on independence and doing things for myself. Because the fact no one's barely there to do things for me was ingrained early in my childhood. - come on - I've been walking home from school on my own since I was five. Besides my sister - I rarely remember anyone by my side.

Expiry Dates

2011-05-06T07:22:00.001-07:00

Expiry Dates
I have simply come with terms that everyone has them. Especially Me. My heath issue has struck hard this week and all I can really do is stick it out. To make matters worse I have a dry cut on the corner of my mouth this week that makes me sorry about wanting to eat anything when I try to open my mouth to eat anything.

My dog slept in my room last night and I have no idea how for a little dog - that he can have so much pee! Yeah I had a few wet surprise puddles when I woke up this morning. I find myself not getting mad at him anymore. I see that now he can't help himself when he does pee. No point of hitting him and saying NO! Because he can't even hear your discipline and hitting him would simply stress and startle him even more cause he can't see that you're mad.

Yesterday I had a nice surprise when I discovered a little bunny on a postal box.

Work days are getting slow but it's the epic calm before the storm.

I scored in the first regulation roller hockey game of the season. The. Canucks are doing well in the playoffs. And in now constantly looking for items to post up onto eBay to just get rid of.

I'm hungry- i wonder what I can eat this morning besides just having water.