Tuesday, January 31, 2012

This Warm Feeling

This January has been a secretive month. There are things behind the scenes which I don't want to blog because ... well when it's the right time to - I will. But I have this thing where I think if I give away "too early" or "too much" - then I just jinx the outcome of things which in the end fall flat. I've been in a wonderful state of happiness. Last summer was great to me. How do I describe it is another state of mind. 6 months ago I followed my gut and took a chance. I connected. And some little actions changed my life ~ I adore him. Since the day we've met. Since we first held hands - we've always held hands. He makes my heart bubbly and warm.

There is nothing I can really say to describe "us" or even what I feel for him.
He's everything I could want and ask for in a man. The odds of me ever finding everything in one was very slim. My friends called me crazy for having this list of what my perfect guy would be. but my heart deep down inside refused to believe he didn't exist cause he had to. I believed in him so much that even I thought perhaps I was crazy to think he even existed... but I can't deny I saw my future husband in my dreams. I felt him in my dreams and I refused to let that go. That glimpse of the future. The vision you see and want so bad to happen that you know that God would not be so cruel to show you what you want and take it away from you.

My faith is not so easily wavered. I love God. Even for the darkest times I've been through. I am thankful. Knowing it is and will be worth wild. The future that is.

You know that warm feeling you get when something you don't think could ever happen, happens. That shock. It's that pause - the motionless wait before the embracing tide hits you. That tingle of excitement. The self assurance. The sensational feeling and knowledge that everything is going to be okay. It's what I feel when I think of him.

When I'm with him he calms my soul, my mind. He has stolen my heart. He's made me fall so deeply that I believe there could be no others to do what he's done. I love him more then I could have imagine that I would / could come to love any man. I welcome February with excitement  :)
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