Behind SyloArts

I haven't blogged for many years. One reason was at the request of a family member who thought I was just painting them in a bad light. You can look back on my past posts and guess who this family member is. but it would be of no surprise. It has been almost 10 years since I properly wrote anything on this online diary of my life events. I don't even think I wrote about my wedding. I thought life through pictures would say a lot since a pictures worth a thousand words, but I'm considerably starting to wonder if those are the right or wrong words of a story being told. Enough of that now. I've felt that keeping a lot of things to myself has resulted in a few things in my life. I've learned that it's not quite that healthy to keep things in your head, of even in your heart and body. Things eat at you. You forget things. I was asked why I wouldn't just keep a paper diary. The truth is I type almost just as fast I can think. Writing by hand would just make my ha...

My Different Worlds Yeah it's difficult putting up a front. The first interaction with my dad this morning really wants to make me punch him in the face. He says to me, " I asked you to find the power sander the other night (Sunday) and you still haven't found it. You know I get home and I'm tired. I'm old, cant you see CC ( the dog) thats how old I am." Then he goes on to say how I should volunteer at a old folks home an see how old people are. Please dad, don't even compare yourself to a dog that's deaf and blind now. Even when he is he still loves me more and shown more love to me in the last 13 years. I came home last night around 9:15pm by that time I was already pretty tired. Why is it so hard for you to find the power sander? Really. Don't compare yourself to a old old man in a senior citizen home. Cause you're not that old. Ok - no more of that. I feel this suffocating energy from this hatred. Yesterday . Work was work. Nothing rea...

There's a fly buzzing around in my room trapped. Lets see if I can coax him out of my room.*goes out side in the hall* *leaves room door open* *turns on hallway light* *turn off bedroom light* *fly flies into the hallway* *shut off hallway light* *enter room* *close bedroom door* *turn on bed room light* SUCCESS. You know what the little fly did remind me of what's written in "The Secret". That if you don't believe that someone so small like you can make a difference in a world so big... try sleeping in a room with a mosquito / fly. That theory made an impact on me. Funny story for you. Today I walk into the washroom, two of three stalls are taken. I go into the last remaining free one. *ugh* Someone didn't flush properly! or courtesy flush during their deed! I flush with my foot, the water rises a bit... damn it it's clogged...wtf! I have to now wait for the one of the other two to finish before I get a chance to use the toilet. I get the middle stall (...

My father believes that creativity can blossom in a dark chambered room with a small window that lies 5 and a half feet underneath the earth. That only works for a selective few in this world. The incredibly paranoid mad geniuses of the late 1500-1700's. I am neither incredibly paranoid, mad, or live in the 1500-1700's. Genius... only time can tell. I need to go to Micheal's / De Serres Arts soon and do something risky. Spend several hundred dollars on large pieces of canvases. If I do so, this guarantees that I will paint right when I feel like doing so. I just set it up and paint. The environment I am in at home reminds me constantly why I'm now saving 1 grand a month. As those may believe I have a lot of "room" to paint at home. The art tables that are supposed to be my art tables are constantly filled up with OTHER people's items as they just simply find space to put something on. It's just a disregard of respect for me in this family. It's r...

I woke up this morning feeling really sick. My stomach hurting, I felt as though I was short of breath. It was that sickly feeling I had in the beginning of January. All of a sudden ... I really miss Darren, I curled up to my pillows as though I would have curled up to him. *sigh*. Have you ever had one of those wake up moments, where you were dreaming and then when you wake up your mind and body believes it's somewhere, when it really isn't. My mind and body thought I was at his place, waking in his bed next to him... when I wasn't, I woke up in bed in my own home - alone. I felt as though my heart hurt. I see an old friend from school and we chat it up on most of the train ride to work. I felt better after getting breakfast. Work was work. Nothing really new or special about it. A few updates came in, went out etc. My friend Fei, texts me in the last few hours at work to tell me she needs to go to the police station on Main St. My brain goes into questioning mode? Why? ...

I had a weird dream, it was long but I only remember the last half of it. Someone took me out to ice skate at a rink, I remember stepping onto the ice and feeling awkward. I don't remember strapping on the skates but when I partnered up with a cute Caucasian guy during Ice dancing ( Weird I know ) he asked me how I was doing and where I got my skates. I lift up my leg to notice I was ice skating with roller hockey skates. ( stupid part of dream ). He advised me that was not good. So I got off the ice and went to the skate shop. I asked the guy behind the counter of the skate shop for a conversion kit, so I don't have go buying ice skates. He says no problem ( I don't know if there even is such thing as a conversion kit that simply removes the wheels of your skates and puts in an ice skate blade plate and it gets screwed on. ) Well I handed him my skates and he goes and does that. A short time after in my dream I return to the skate shop. The worker is not there. I shout in...

There has been something strange happening to me lately since going on a 'break' one has to do with flying insects. Flies, Butterflies and Bees. Every time I've been on my walks / jogs and runs one of these three insects will fly by me brushing their wing against me. Never along my legs, always my upper body, along my arms / hands, face. Mainly my hands. One fly, 2-3 bees and one butterfly and other butterfly flew past close to me and my cousin long our workout today. The spiritual part of me which is in tune with mothernature wants to know what this means. Is this Gods way of telling me that everything is going to be alright? That he / she is with me.