Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Sunny Day Spring Run

I love sunny days :)  ...  a few days back I decided a few things in my head. When I go to work. I will dress ... like I work in an office. LOL . no more casual comfy stuff. Dress to impress cause you will never know who you run into. I wore heals this morning. I must say, this pair used to kill me a couple steps out of the house but I survived with them on for most of the day. Till I got home.. LOL .  This morning I was at the bus stopped and looked up at the tree that is bare most of the time of the year. I never noticed it was a blossom tree. It was so gorgeous I had to take a pic of it. Sorry .. they were taken with my iphone. Work was work. One other thing I said to myself I would do more often. Take pictures. May it be of random things. Me being a visual person and one who likes to communicate through word as well. I can't only just write my day. Visuals are pleasing as well. hahaha. More pics on my blogs :) .  At the end of my day today, I rushed downstairs to get a Gatorade for the next video I want to film talking about things I hate. As I drink a bottle of Haterade. I designed the label already only to find out the logo had changed. I thought it was a joke. Some re-design of some student school work, but it wasn't. Now I have to spend later on tonight Re-designing to match. On my way back up. I come in contact with one of the cutest white guys I've ever seen in Vancouver. He had strawberry blond hair and wore a suit. He had a great smile though. Damn. Maybe I have a soft spot for good looking guys in suits. Then my brain thinks of Frankie, actually I've been feeling like I miss him now and then. OK back to the good looking white guy. Well we were on the elevator next to each other and me, not wasting any time ... is pealing the label off the Gatorade bottle. I say nothing. I silently laugh at myself for being weird.  I've found I've been doing this a lot lately :) . I exit my floor. I'm tempted to say, "Bye Now" Like I always do to people now who come to and fro from my office. The guy was going up to the 17th floor. I rush to do what I do and then I print out my label design to figure out what size and placement of things do I need to change on my current design. Then I say to myself. Maybe I can catch another glimpse of the guy as he leaves. I expect nothing. And when the elevator stops and the door opens. He's standing there! he smiles and says hi and I reply as we pass each other as he steps out and I step in. As the door closes, I catch him looking around the floor like he's lost. DAMN. I should have asked for his name.
Oh well, I go on my way. The sky is sunny and I rush home to get ready for my run. I stand at the bus stop and I think to myself. My heals through my shadow look like hooker shoes. *sigh* I make it home and go out on my run. I think about how yesterday I texted Darren to see how he was doing, only to get no reply. I feel a bit ... rejected. I decide perhaps it is better I don't text him anymore. But I think about how I miss him. I think about him...and I just I wonder how he's doing sometimes. I wonder does he miss me?

During my run... I was thinking about certain things, about my chat with Nicki during work. About how he was jokingly believes that he is the best guy. My response was... " For me? or just as a guy? " and I'm smiling and trying not to laugh out loud at work. His response was both. Nicki. Though he was my first love. The first boyfriend I had... our relationship is one of that love. We loved each other when we were young. Even till now there will always be a place in our hearts for one another. Nicki though I've always had a sense of protection from him. He constantly does things as though it's for my own protection. I felt this way when we broke up years ago. was his only way to protect me or something... it's really strange to explain. It's really hard to describe. He ran with a bad crowd for a while after that. Even now when I asked if we ever chill if he would take me out and introduce me to some of his friends. He says maybe. I tell him about how I've always felt that protection aura from him. He tells me, cause he cares. That I'm one of a few people that he actually cares a lot for. He is actually a one of a few that I truly trust with my life. I have this theory, that I want to be good friends with guys I've had a relationship with. WHY? because... I once loved them. I trusted them. I know them and they know me. That honesty, trust and love is not shown to anyone. That bond should be strong with those who you have shown this care for. Though the sad thing is, lots of them lose this trust. It's strange to me how some of these relationships fall back into the status of "stranger". That someone you used to love so much...becomes someone you barely even know anymore. That is fucked up to me. However Nicki, is one of the few I trust with my life. Then I think, would I go out with him again? ... LOL ... maybe not. I told him... every time I think of him. I think of the good looking strong willed bad boy. I remember the skinny guy, I knew when I think of him. Then reality shakes me and says he's grown now. He let himself go a little. That skinny guy I knew is no more. Though the heart is still the same. I said to him though I will always love him. The man I want to be with, has to be able to run with me and be active. Why? Because ... well from here on out, I'm going to be on the run, making guys chase me. If they can't run, how will they ever catch me?  hahah just kidding just kidding.

My 5K run was nice. I started at 6:05 and ended at 6:48. This run used to take me over an hour ... maybe next time I can do it in half an hour. I took the picture of one of the view from my run.

I realized that yesterday was CC's birthday. I have him hugs and kisses to make up for forgetting.

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