Friday, February 25, 2011

Another weird dream

Another weird dream
And it makes me awaken so late this morning. I just didn't want to wake up. When I did it was 6:26 fantastic! >_< .
What was I dreaming about? - well - had a tall asian guy that kept following through out a mall / marketplace. I tried ignoring him but it didn't work.he follows me and I try to tell him about someone I know - and how talented they were. He knew them too - but didn't like my friend very much. There was something about being stranded somewhere and it being very cold I gave into spooning with him. He tries to tell me of his great and privileged life. I don't really remember how He looks like - but - ehh. I also remember at the end of my dream I became mad at my sister with the thought she had more photos of her Ethan and grandma than with me. Is it something I care that much? Personally- I don't feel like it's something that I would be. Weird. I don't remember much of the rest. But I am still sleepy. I think I may need a redbull today.
I've need having too many dreams lately. Even when I stay up to the point of passing out. I dream when I didn't before. Maybe letting go of something give you the opportunity to open yourself up to another.
I really don't know what's going to happen in the next few days.
I don't feel like the weather reports have been very accurate lately- snowing day turned to sunny day.
That's Vancouver for you.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011


Well- Bf thought to ask if I was flirting with anyone. My answer is NO - I just don't have that much time to spend flirting out of the handful of replies I make on Facebook / emails/
Texts and what not. I have slipped back from painting. DJ was over last night as we worked on editing the video for his project. It turned out all grainy and still need to figure out why the whole time till the end. The video still isn't up yet.

I get a text this morning from Bf wondering if I had taken his loaf of bread - really? - NO. I had more than enough to carry yesterday with my bag so heavy I had to switch arms while walking down the street every so often.

I was looking at my goals in life yesterday night and had felt I've suddenly stopped pursuing them which I should never had. DJ tells me well be knocking Whale Watching off my list hopefully when we are in Tofino.

I'm getting random pains lately- maybe cause I'm hungry. Mornings are the worst when I don't eat.

It was snowing like crazy yesterday when I left work. But it seems as though mother nature didn't allow it to stick. The only bit of evidence is the thin layer that covers the cities like frost.

I'm a bit irritated at the moment and I can only hope this emotion subsides as there is a big day ahead of me this morning as everyone is getting ready for the big trade show coming up in Toronto. Apparently not hundreds but thousands go to this show- which I will be on vacation as it's going on. But before I do- a short step of insanity will hit our office. I'm already pulling hair trying to get the re-design for a trade show panel off the ground. One of those clients that don't give you specifics on what they want- you design two that are polar opposites and still there is no trace of a direction you should follow.

I should be working on painting but there's that blankness again in me. I should finish the goldfish series and see where that takes me.

I wonder if I did some artwork for places and donated it - would it work. What about a project that gives - project cafe art houses ? Hmmm will elaborate more later on.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Ups and The Downs

The Ups and The Downs
Since my nightmare the night before last - my emotion of excitement and happiness has been replaced with a sense of I don't know what you call this. What's it called when you just feel emotionless? Not even. I was upset yesterday to the point where I barely ate in the day. A yogurt? A English muffin? - my dinner - toast. Yeah- my nightmare effected me that much. But the truth it shouldn't cause nightmares for me are a bit of non reality. I have to prepare for myself for the now and physical - cause all we ever have is the now. It's the only thing we can really control.
Today is my mom's birthday! Hmmm what should I get her?
Going to dinner tomorrow night. My friend had forwarded this event to me about free dj'ing session. And it's tomorrow night too. For one, I rarely like to do things on my own in Vancouver. Weird right? - maybe cause it is a session. Or just my anti-social talking. Shyness doesn't escape you very much - or at least me. Later today I will be making something for tomorrow. I wonder where he'll be taking me.
Oh - I was in la Senza yesterday shopping and I asked the lady how do the sizes work for camisoles - small, medium, large. When I told her my bust size she looked shocked ( I'm wearing a thick jacket and she took one look at my waist and said I should be going for a medium. It will hug me better. Since I seem pretty small everywhere else. Strange in my mind I don't think I'm very small at all. Damn I forgot my shopping bag at home >_<. I have to do my breakfast and lunch and snack shopping.
I'm currently working on helping my friend launch this project that when funded - will be very interesting.
Yesterday when leaving work - I was talking to my boss about where I'll be going. Tofino - with a bunch of Friends - shooting and we ended up talking about Whistler and when I said I've never been- wow. My boss even suggested i have to book some time off - look at priceline and plan to go cause it's just something I have to do. This year may just take me all over the place. It's pretty excited. I should be. I'm happy my year is starting with adventures - and with great people in my life.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Ugh ... Happy Valentines Day

Ugh ... Happy Valentines Day
I'm a bit sick to my stomach at the moment. Waking up from a panic dream and one with dirty crazy beggars , a pregnant African American woman, a priest and a bunch of other people I don't know. Running and dodging people. I would call this dream a bit of a nightmare. Cause I felt terror and I don't know why I would dream this at all like the other nightmare I had that I shared with my sister that disgusted her too. That dream was just- disgusting. It stains my soul.

Happy Valentines Day. One of the days that I used to not celebrating it. It's something I think is lovely - as in someone taking a chance to declare their love on a day like so many others - but bravery with the heart should stand on another day because that day is and should be just as good as today.

I didn't do much this weekend. Saw baby Ethan on Friday like every Friday. Hung out with my sister some quality time. ( Been trying to do this since finding out it's the way I can show her I love her. )

Other days I've been working on my website. Content and design. And yesterday I spent from 3-9:30 in a group meeting - working on a project. I feel this is one to be excited for- when it takes off - I don't know where it will take us. Hopefully all around the world well I hope all the projects I collaborate on would.

I wrote a small bio about myself for my site and well I think it's really casual - showing more of me these days. Passion beats professionalism - just as long as a piece of you comes through. Damn I really should try to finish reading my books. Continue my painting and prep the other job. Transfer my videos onto my Pc and work from there.

I'm a bit sleepy still - ttyl

Tuesday, February 08, 2011


I'm still working on my website and it's coming along more slowly that anticipated. Which isn't delightful. I wonder what is the last section of the 6 on my featured home page that will be - featured. I have 5. This sucks.

It's taking far too long to do this and it bothers me. I uploaded or started to upload Seattle trip images yesterday.

My face seemed to have a reaction to something yesterday and I had a sudden outbreak of bumps on my cheek on one side of my face.

Damn my heartbreaks as I get snow reports on my phone. And how warm the city is becoming as our winters get so much shorter. I should figure out a way to get up on the weekend. Even if it's on my own.

Heading to work and my mind kind of blank. What is there to finish? - a website design, another design - a whiteboard full of stuff. It's been a month + of me and another designer. I wonder how much more longer this is going to go. My body is still getting used to getting up at 5am.

I was thinking of implementing a game with the people of the lower mainland - but it's a public event and I wonder how many are willing to do it. But it's a good way to word of mouth your name. I won't share with you this idea just yet.

I'm thinking of just story writing on my way to work these days. Maybe I'll set it up tonight. I have had set another blog account for short stories. maybe I should ask my other friend to co-write with me. Alternation of stories from different minds? Instead of ones I've written.

I've been thinking of getting rid of a lot of stuff lately. Video games, movies, stuff. I don't know what it is-maybe the fact that stuff- not important to me anymore. The set in of physical objects to ones reality with a time limit feels a little pointless at times. When it all comes down to it- those things really don't matter. Pick yourself up and move on. What are the things you would take with you when needed? If I can go on a trip and not miss something- that something isn't as important as you believe it to be. Can I have a garage sale? Donate the unused items of the present?

I read my friends write up last night about one of his projects. It was touching and I can only help as much as I can on my part to see the project moves in a direction that is forward.

Everyday has a way of changing your perceptions. Let them be progressive thoughts.

Love endlessly- loving openly is my obstacle and I know this. Be kind to a world that breeds negativity is difficult. Loving should be easy. Loving Openly - tests all the elements and foundations of you. Your eyes see your negativity and you change for love- cause if you don't, it will not be open to you.

Monday, February 07, 2011

Redesigning the Redesign

Redesigning the Redesign
I spent most of this weekend working on my website. As I watched the last of the lord of the rings marathon, staring my How I Met Your Mother marathon. Since the hacking of my website, I can only say that putting my new site in the works has been a troubling one, adding new elements and featuring some others. I think Bruno Mars like Jason Mraz are some of the best people to start off the day musically that is. I really don't know how they are as people - but it would probably be an adventure. Back to my site- I'm turning it 180- from a blank canvas look to something - more- well I don't know how to describe it now. Its different and probably not what a lot of people would think it would be the direction I take my website to but it's different.

Wow - I usually get big people that sit next to me on the train in the box front where I'm sitting but someone took the place of this big lady that was sitting next to me earlier and he's not taking up elbow room! :) yay!!!

I have nothing much to say this morning - oh, my nephew - super cheeky baby. Getting really mean too. Hitting, yelling. But then he flips to the I Love You Lots mode. but he's still really cute.

Man I'm still sleepy. I wonder if I have time to go shopping before work for groceries for the week. Damn it. I hope so.

Been working out again and hmmm I need more nutritious food at home I can probably eat. I think that's why I lose a lot of weight when I stay at home. There are no food of nutritious value and my body starts feeding off itself because there isn't else I can really eat. If you wonder why I don't buy groceries home to make my own food... My reply is- have you seen my fridges ? Yeah - one fridge and one huge freezer full of crap food. I think I totally binged this past Sunday - eating and craving all this yucky junk food.

God - my death dates in April and I haven't gone boarding yet. :( I have yet to enjoy your winter gift of snow. I want it to super snow, so I can build some snowmen and women and children :p

Friday, February 04, 2011

Back in town

Back in town
My trip to Seattle was rewarding in the end, however there was a bit of a bump at the end of the first day. But you fight through it, talk it out, and find a common ground.

What did I do on the first day?
Well I left Vancouver around 10:30ish, and headed down. Stopping at the Seattle outlet on the way, I came out of that place with just a sports tank for roller hockey. Going on, and driving into Seattle, my hotel sat at the entrance from the freeway into downtown. Sheraton Hotel was beautiful- being on the 21st floor, the view was towards the city, with a view of the Roosevelt. After resting for a bit, we headed out for dinner, walking down to the waterside to a restaurant called The Crab Pot. I
Tried to get a goof photo of me in front of our restaurant before meeting up with friends. The boys ordered two buckets of seafood as I called three appetizers for the four of us. Crab cakes, coconut shrimp and calamari. I enjoyed the crab cakes as Ry enjoyed the coconut shrimp. After our appetizers, they rolled out a large sheet of poster paper onto our table and placed back down our drinks and set our wooden mini chopping blocks and a wooden mallet. As they also supplied us with nut crackers. They poured the seafood onto the middle of the table and everyone just went at it. King crab, crab, muscles, clams, potato, slices of Italian sausage. By the end we were filled with seafood happiness. We headed out later walking back to our hotels, but not until we side tracked onto a place called Gameworks. Basically to me, it's an adult arcade - I only say that cause you're allowed to order some alcoholic drinks and play video games. Played two rounds of air hockey against Ry, Tying it in the end. Shooting hoops was another thing. We started off with the same game - shooting classic. Ry had never seen me play basketball- I out shot him in points by doubling his score and I wonder if I should have held back? Nnnaahhh. You school people at their own game for a reason- my want to school him, I was just willing to play him at his own favorite game. We played a little dance dance. Watched taiko drumming, some simmulation of hummer driving, I also watched the nurses have the joy of playing operation on a giant scale. Watching 3 nurses play giant operation, is hilarious! Especially when they fail, however at the end - Ray got it for the win. They played a sponge bob game and later on we ended the night just a little after dance dance revolution.

My first night ended with a blip, one I didn't want to carry out, throughout the rest of the trip. Talking things out in a relationship can do more than place one an other on the same page, it calms misunderstandings. And the truth is there should be no arguments when people are doings things to make the other happy. Simply step back and enjoy the moment. Always speak your peace with someone you love, or live with the whispers that have a high possibility of echoing through your mind. They are the words that make and break relationships.

I woke up the next day and headed down to the pike market in hopes to watch some fish throwing but we simply walked down to the starbucks and grabbed a bite before walking about. Some man said around 7am they do the fish throwing. Really?! We left pike market without witnessing some flying fish. We went and walked about shopping afterwards walking back up towards our hotel. there was a small mall we walked about just didn't have much inside to see, some little stores but the amount of Starbucks that line this city is insanity. That little mall had 5 inside. Not far across the street I got a Jean jacket from Levi's for 48$- it has a nice cloth lining on the inside. Ry got some deals on his as well.

We checked out of our hotel, met up with our friends and headed over to mall for some crazy shopping. This mall was so big, that there were stores that had two locations. We went to this particular mall for one reason, to eat some Jolly Bee's. A Philipino fast food chain location in the states. Fried
Chicken, rice, gravy. Mango peach pie. And some rice noodle dish I can't pronounce. I went to h&m and got some shirts for screening and and socks. Landed a long jacket for downtown style- for 22$ from forever 21. It took a while to find anything else but it took me a while to find a charm of Seattle, it seems as though the last kiosk I was willing to hit up actually had it. 15$. As I was in the mall waiting for Ry as he checked out bedding goods I got my hair straightened by some girl to sell me a hair straightened for 145$ - really?! Wow I can get one from winners for 40$. I let her try to sell me. She even tried guessing my age, only to fail horribly by 9 years. She was good, but it's difficult to sell something to someone who has the ability to do the math of cost, product production, product shipping, sales. Etc. And the competitors of the industry trying to sell the same product with 30 different brands. I walked away with the classic line, "I'll think about it, I'll be in the mall." it wasn't true, I left ten minutes later, but hate the fact of having to lie. I'm just not interested in buying your product, especially @ 145$.

We headed back after the mall and dropped off the friends at Sheraton as they were staying there the day after we did. We headed in search for our new hotel and checked in at the Silver Cloud hotel. Which was located right next to safeco field. We got one looking over the sign. This little place also had fantastic services. As we checked in and rested a bit before heading out for dinner. We shuttled it to the cheese cake factory for dinner. Ordering the fish and chips I substituted the chips for mashed potatoes and the coleslaw for spinach. Ry getting a chicken and brown rice dish. I drank a pina colada for the first time ( alcoholic one that is ) For dessert I indulged and got the reeses cheese cake and Ry, a blue berry cheese cake. We wanted to see if the stores were still open after dinner, however they weren't - well the one we wanted to return to that is. We went over to Sephora since that was where the pick up service was and we headed back to our hotel for some much needed rest. I wasn't as used to being on my feet as much and my legs were hurting even after the first night.

The next morning we got ready and headed down to the pike market to discover the fish throwing people were not in business since the market was under construction for renovations. We walked down and around the market, visited the first Starbucks location. we walked down and grabbed a bite at a Russian bakery. The most popular item was not mine- apple cinnamon roll, I liked Ry's choice way better! We soon headed back to check out and drove in and by chinatown. It brought back memories. So faded - but I guess I still have them. we left and headed for Northgate mall. Mister man had to pick up some shoes he ordered and I was hunting down ambercrombie & finch / a hollister store. I got to hollister and snagged a zip up and hoodie for 20$ each. Ry was amazed at all the deals I was getting. We left, rushed down to a Costco to meet our friends - in fear of getting caught of using someone elses membership, we didn't choose to get a lot. And after we headed on home.

On the way home, we were supposed to stop at a duty free shop. To get my dad liquor. However the exit we took, didn't have a duty free shop, so I ended up going to a BC liquor store and picking out liquor from anywhere but Canada. I think about it and it's hilarious! I choose a spice rum named krawken - or something - I only got it because of pure packaging. Ry picked a whisky and that was that. I never told dad that we got it here. The whole idea was to save money on liquor- but hey, they were on sale. :p it didn't matter it was or not. Dad did wonder how he is going to drink the spicy rum. I returned home to only wish our get away could have been longer.

This entry took three travel times to write. Darn it. Last night I was on the verge of tossing a couple of gift cards away, and decided to go online and see how much they had. More than 50$ in the cards - make them worthy to keep. I also checked my aeroplan points, I have enough to fly to Hawaii, but not back. It doesn't sound too bad - does it. ;)

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Sleeping In Seattle

I haven't been blogging because I've been away. On vacation I would say, but really it's just relaxation time for me. There isn't much to say but some self revelations as I visit places here and there, visit locations that stir up memories, thoughts and more importantly dreams. You don't face your true self if you ignore the little things that bother you, that you leave you feeling unfinished. If you lack closing one door, another will not open up to you. I started reading "Think and Grow Rich" on my way here to Seattle. The first few stories have already have me thinking about some things. But the images I take here, the clothes I buy, the places I stay. Give me a little something to define myself. Not in things, just - thoughts. It's hard to say, how can a jacket define me? - or that poster you spot in some store and wonder if you can get that too. You don't define yourself in the things you buy, or see, but the emotions they trigger and the thought that it is your style. If you know what you like, then it's just closer to you, knowing you. If there is something that I would like to pull away from this trip is a sense of some kind of inspiration and better relationships.

I'm not here to tell you how it all started, I'm here to tell you how it'll end.

I'm not defined by the food I eat, the people I have loved and do love, my family / friends. I'm defined by the experiences I will encounter and lessons that are discovered throughout my life journey. What I believed then, may not be what I believe now.