Hating

Hating
I'm pretty sure in getting meaner to people cause I feel no emotions to them as I see no logic in their ways. I'm standing right in the front of the bus. First one out right? Considering I'm lugging another me in size. Nope people will still try to get in front of you cause they can't wait one second for you to gather your things to leave. They have to catch that train you know - that same train you're trying to catch! - come on people of the world. Give a little you might just get a break sometime. Sometimes people may think - I never get >:( and they are the grumpiest mofo's. The question is not 'how much have I gotten?' is 'how much have you given?'. Real love doesn't say - I give too much. I ask - 'how can I make you feel loved?' because I'll be giving of it. This is where change in me is needed lately. Is not wanting - but giving. I am already loved. I know this now. Through friends and others and family.

I was just thinking of something - oh right. I'm currently selling off items in my possession that simply takes up - space. My focus should be in the arts, yet so many unnecessary items surround me. Now I'm weeding out what I want to keep and selling off the items that I don't. Although some items have memory attachments - it is only when I let go, I can make room and move forward to making new and better memories. I'm selling off items not just for me - but I had hoped that the person I will share my future with see's I'm making a big effort now to make room for them.

A lot of the stuff I collected were awesome, but it's time to let go. Grew out of it's phase and grew up. Everyone has to make that choice sometime. I guess I reached it.