Tuesday, January 31, 2012

This Warm Feeling

This January has been a secretive month. There are things behind the scenes which I don't want to blog because ... well when it's the right time to - I will. But I have this thing where I think if I give away "too early" or "too much" - then I just jinx the outcome of things which in the end fall flat. I've been in a wonderful state of happiness. Last summer was great to me. How do I describe it is another state of mind. 6 months ago I followed my gut and took a chance. I connected. And some little actions changed my life ~ I adore him. Since the day we've met. Since we first held hands - we've always held hands. He makes my heart bubbly and warm.

There is nothing I can really say to describe "us" or even what I feel for him.
He's everything I could want and ask for in a man. The odds of me ever finding everything in one was very slim. My friends called me crazy for having this list of what my perfect guy would be. but my heart deep down inside refused to believe he didn't exist cause he had to. I believed in him so much that even I thought perhaps I was crazy to think he even existed... but I can't deny I saw my future husband in my dreams. I felt him in my dreams and I refused to let that go. That glimpse of the future. The vision you see and want so bad to happen that you know that God would not be so cruel to show you what you want and take it away from you.

My faith is not so easily wavered. I love God. Even for the darkest times I've been through. I am thankful. Knowing it is and will be worth wild. The future that is.

You know that warm feeling you get when something you don't think could ever happen, happens. That shock. It's that pause - the motionless wait before the embracing tide hits you. That tingle of excitement. The self assurance. The sensational feeling and knowledge that everything is going to be okay. It's what I feel when I think of him.

When I'm with him he calms my soul, my mind. He has stolen my heart. He's made me fall so deeply that I believe there could be no others to do what he's done. I love him more then I could have imagine that I would / could come to love any man. I welcome February with excitement  :)

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

I lost it. Oh, I found it.

Dinner @ Santouka : Ramen
Best I've ever had in Vancouver! and should - considered it's known to be.
DELICIOUS! 5/5 ***** 

On the way home to BJ's place he realizes he's lost his house keys. He had his car keys but not the ones to his home. We call the Restaurant to see if that was where he had dropped the keys. Soon after we end up going back downtown to in search of it and our first location was his parking garage and as we drove in we saw nothing. We then stepped out of the car after parking and looked around. Started our walk back to the restaurant where we just were and a few steps away from the stall we spotted the keys. -Thank Goodness- I had prayed for them to be not far from the parking stall. So our search wouldn't take so long :) didn't expect it to be so short! It was a good night.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Happy 2012

I've been contemplating for a while to write my first post of the year. I wondered how it would be like. What would I say and in the end it came to the point where I was simply just thinking too much. ( Thinkitus ) This holiday season was full of festivities and events. Some with such a long line up that we just walked away from the event ( festival of lights. ) I hope it really snows next year so the lights can be that much more prettier.

This year the new year was spent the way it should have always been. How every new year should be rung in and spent with someone you love. Family. Friends. This Christmas and new years was very different from the last. This year I didn't get a lot ( physical possessions ) but I did get a lot out of it.

B-'s friends over the holidays have made me see the insight of how much family love there is there that surrounds him. Family not just in blood, but the family you choose to create with - the friends around you. So many of them so forwardly embracing - you feel their warmth. It's so different from what I've adapted to over the years. It's always a little awkward to meet and come into a new family, but it's also very comforting to feel that feeling like - 'that's where you should always have been.' It's the kind of loves and friendships that so many seek or seek to build and perhaps even a few experience. To walk into the middle of an evolution of relationships is always interesting to experience. Especially when you feel and become so well aware of the evolutions of the relationships that you take part of.

I step back and know see the changes of the 365 and what it's done. It's another year and what are our achievements ... dreams ... goals. What are the ones we did reach.

I think about one of my friends - who I'm so proud of.

One who once hated his job, at times he even seemed like a sad bear. He had a dream, a passion and yet didn't choose to seek it. Me and Esjay sat at the table with him and said that if he didn't have the tools he needed to pursue his dreams we would sacrifice a few dollars from our wallets to provide them for him. Eventually he ended up quitting his job and at first apprehensive of what he would do for money, me and Esjay were very positive in the fact that he was talented enough that Life would just accept his passion and fuel it. Now he's a booked photographer, doing events, filming and creating a beautiful example of a happy life. Well I hope it is anyways. My props goes out to www.thinkvik.com.

Just as equally impressive is Shalini. When I first met her, heard her music. Shivers down my spine. I pegged success for her. She's a little something different. A little something that no one else I know has. How can I describe her? I want to say she's like a rising sun that doesn't set. I'm watching her rise and it's so beautiful, all the steps she is taking. She shines when she's performing and it's like basking in the sun. All you really want to do is sit back and enjoy it. Slowly she went from playing here and there... now she's hit the local radio stations! I love it.

D-Meth . www.desimethod.com is currently and soon coming to it's fifth revolutionary cycle. Re-inventing the wheel is not easy. Just like seeking out true happiness in life. Wait that's easy... it's enjoying the difficulties - that's hard. Knowing what can truly make you happy is also half the battle. Not everyone discovers this so easily. But it's nice to know there's a group of friends that are there who want nothing but the best for you. I will also embody this virtue of happiness, always wanting the best for my friends and family in happiness and success.

Personally. I've been fighting some things. Slowly coming to the conclusion that 2012 is truly the year of letting go of a lot of things. It's the year to no longer take those many little glimpses back. To step out of my comfort zone. To take on a path that is new and adventurous. Because just as important were the stepping stones you laid .. you already know the path behind you.. what really matters is the path ahead.

Happy 2012