Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Goodbye Mr. CC

04/13/1997 - 02/21/2012

It's been a busy month, hectic running about. Signing papers, packing, then moving - then settling into the new place. All during busy season.

Moving is stressful. Work has been stressful. But I haven't lost sight of much.

Several days after moving in I return home to pick up some items to find that Mr.CC is no longer with us. My dad had decided that morning to put him down. He didn't tell any of us. My sister, me or my brother. No - Dad didn't decide to put the dog down out of the blue, but CC had been sick for a while now and we all knew that a dog that was deaf and blind and his health was getting worse. Him being in more pain to live longer was not one any of us wanted. I don't think my dad was wrong or right about putting him down but it was for the better. CC isn't in any more pain. He will be missed but most importantly was he was very loved. I will miss him more than I know at the moment. I know that ideally I would have liked to have had CC die of a natural death. Maybe a doggie heart-attack or in his sleep but some deaths are just not ideal. The reality of things is that I've just lost the one man that's stood by me for half my life and that now or later - we all have to learn to let go. A part of me feels like perhaps I'm not mourning just right or at least not yet. I feel perhaps I am being a little too apathetic - or maybe I've just learned to deal with death and I'm just dealing. The worst of it could be is that I've become a emotionless. No - it's not that. I loved him more than I could any dog. He knows that too. I used to tell him, "when you die, come back as my child so I can love you some more"... I kind of hope he does.


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The month of Feb is coming to an end- it has been filled with a series of ongoing events. What else can I say? - Perhaps taking a big leap is a must do on a leap year.

I can only pray that March bring better tidings.