Saturday, April 02, 2016

March, I'm glad you're over

This year only has not been such a great start for me.
There just isn't much to tell really, well not much I want to share.
Family drama, with mom being sick, having surgery and then recovering and getting... better.
Accompanying her to doctor consults. The feeling of being in a deep pit of worry. Nothing but worrying after the fact - hoping that nothing is to come back to make her sick again.

Then the month of March. It's like... or was like one of the worst months having to gruel random upsetting moments.

I got a burn on my hand, that may scar me for the rest of my life. But I don't really care about the superficial scars. Scars are just stories on my skin. But the first few weeks of bandaging and etc. Timely and painful.
Then a week or so later I suffer a stabbing pain in my abdomen only to find out at the hospital it was something about kidney stone(s). The nurse in triage told me I took it pretty well considering that some people come in and are screaming in pain. Everyone checking up on me kept asking me if I was pregnant, perhaps it was as a precaution, or perhaps it was because it seemed as though I was in labor at some points. It was a different kind of pain to be honest, the feeling as though someone stabbed me and compared to my disc slip I suffered in 2013. The pain in my abdomen was sure enough to tell my body to throw up. I really thought the pain I felt in 2013 was worst on a different scale. I would take kidney stone pain vs. disc slip any day. Hopefully not any day soon.
I got a bit of a fever but I was able to sweat it out throughout the night ( most of the time this happens. ) I don't know why but it does.

Wedding planning has been going pretty well considering I have a lot of things done already.
But it's all about people. PEOPLE. I need more people.

I've had weird dreams of late. The latest one of Zombies, and koi fish on boat house roof tops in the heavy rain. Falling and sliding off into empty strewn kayaks and canoes filling up with water. Me, in a Zombie apocalypse worry about the koi fish, hoping they were not all dead, and that they would be OK.

Wedding nightmares I would think are normal.
I had one where I was on my way to the wedding, and then I was at a street crossing when a bus had a big accident and came towards me and I dodge to witness it crash into a crowd of runners. I called for help and called in the accident at a street corners of one starting with a C and the other a T. Multiple casualties. I arrive at my wedding to find out many people were missing. The hair stylist, the groom, my dad nagging me. Stress. Stress. Stress. I woke up thinking, WHY AM I HAVING WEDDING NIGHTMARES?@! and it's probably normal.

There is one thing for sure though in both nightmares of late. My sister was in both beside me, kind of saving the day. Comfort in the midst of storms.

I woke up one day though from a nice last fading memory of a dream where there were two CC's (my late dog) chasing each other. They were so cute. I woke up smiling.

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