Behind SyloArts

As I walked towards the house - I felt so ... nervous - at first out of place, wondering if I should be even putting myself in the place of visiting but I had to. I missed the babies all so much. Here is how I usually am. I am usually emotional before the act of something or after. Never so much during. I focus a lot of energy on being present in the moment to enjoy it. It was around 11 as I walked up and pushed the door bell button I have to relinquish any fears or doubts cause I am already in the moment. Steph comes to the door holding Flint who's a little too cute for words. I say hello to him and he gives me a little smile. As we make our way to the living room I ask if the boys were up. She said yes, they were already playing video games. As I walked in I see Lakin and Gage already standing, dropping their controllers, hesitant as they said hi to me. Lakin approaches first as I ask they remember me. Gage says yes and gives me a hug. It was not long after as they start to ...

Chance, fate, coincidences, whatever we have come to know it as. I am starting to feel as though we are seeking to find a possibility of familiarity to make us comfortable in unfamiliar and uncomfortable circumstances. We do not like to be uncomfortable - we naturally seek a beneficial outcome of our situations. We will seek commonality. I now wonder how difficult it is to seek someone of great compatibility with out the assistance of something. In the movies and olden days people seemed to genuinely fell in love and it seems as though they made the effort to stay in it. To keep the love between two couples. Is it so much easier for us to be selfish these days. So blinded by the other efforts? That trying doesn't seem like it's worth trying for anymore? When did we become so lazy? Here is my contemplation on finding things worth wild. One thing to keep in mind is that you're worth it. Trying for. If you want to lose weight and find that - what is it all for. You shouldn...

I had an adventurous day as well. In the morning I woke up and texted my friend Ben who I haven't seen in months. We were supposed to do breakfast but ended up doing lunch cause we're so lazy to wake up early. Well I am for the time being cause - hey I'm on vacay time. Ben teases me about being single and I tease him about him and his girlfriend. We end up having lunch at Cattle Cafe in Burnaby. There was a baby that sat next to us that was 2 and as he left I said goodbye and shyly he waved goodbye to me but snubbed Ben... Lol. Ben then after helped me swing by Ry's to pick up the remainder of any items left over and dropped off the remainder of his that I had. We didn't even say hi or bye as we did our exchange - he was on the phone so we just waved and I simply just left. By the time I was back in the car I realized my shoes were not in the bag. I didn't care - I can buy new pair of white heels. Those were scuffed and scratched to heck. Soon after Ben drop...

I'm writing about this day after the fact that it's passed. I can't really call what happened this day, but I know the weather wasn't nice for most of the morning. I think - if the rest of the weather is going to be like this for the rest of my vacation days, I'm going to be a bit depressed. Sometimes they say the road to recovery is to keep occupied. They are either right or just avoiding the facts of what happened because they don't want to face the situation. No - I've said my peace, dealt with what I had to this week and simply letting it all go. My friends, new and old somehow all of a sudden seem to now return to fill the void. I feel now like I'm no longer turning down my friends as I did slowly this past year. I need to find the perfect balance of keeping a relationship that doesn't cut into my creative productive times. I should not be directing my love for one thing towards the wrong things. Loving wholly and all the time can drain you, e...

The morning passes just like any other work filled. No distractions this time. Esjay calls me out latter that day to deal with some work issues we're having re-working the site. Something not even I can figure out is wrong. We did however write out a skit that's been in my head for a while. Maybe well flush it out this August. We brainstorm and even start to talk about other skits. But the night ends and Esjay drops me off later than evening. THURSDAY: work - same - lame. No - I'm just kidding. I like my job. I just don't like dealing with people that don't let me leave when there is a last minute request. Today was a nice day - I had such a people filled week that it was my time! And I loved it - after work I went shopping since I had missed the bus home. I went to go buy credits for my ps3 and then came across a sale I could not pass up. I got new blazer spring- summer tops, some tank tops, dresses, some long sleeves for colder days. Little did I know that thi...

It's been a busy week! I'll be honest I don't know if I'd want to recall Tuesday - at all. Early afternoon that is. It was busy at work, but not only that - I had to deal with some personal interruptions. It ate up my lunch hour and partly into work. It was then I had to call for assistance on a friend to help me out. Working hard and with emotional disruptions is inappropriate. Brink of tears nearly. July has perhaps made me cry the most this month. I said the other week to a friend - "Stupid July, keeps making me cry." Too many emotions stirring. Too many personalities to deal with. I had to get my mind off of it. Shalini messages me to let me know she was going to hit up Can Am Importique. If you're a Vancouverite and haven't visited this place, you should! Epic Awesomeness! Well the last time I was there was 3-4 years go, my brother threw a halloween party at the location. This time I was able to encourage my friends to hit it up for some props or ...

This has been one busy week! Monday started off with me bringing my hockey gear to work. I had made dinner plans with a friend but he had forgotten to get back to me about it and ended up canceling on me later in the morning. Emergency changes. I hate how something that was planned just changes your whole day. You don't plan out days with a plan B do you? Well I ended up calling out my friend to help me out. Monday's is usually when a group of my God brother and his friends get together and do stuff together. Now they've added exercise into that routine. James - an acquaintance that I know through my God bro for some time now picked me up just outside of Oakridge station. Driven back to my God Brothers place as we waited for him to return from home, and soon his friends started to show up and got ready for their run around the track. That's just a walks away from his place. After a few laps for me around the track walking. The boys running of course. I walked considerin...

It's been a busy weekend - Saturday with spending time with Chris and John. God bro and one two awesome friends. We went to the sandwich shop, La Charcuterie Salam the shop owner had just gotten into a car accident the past week and I couldn't even believe that he was at work. His car got hit by a semi from behind as he was on the freeway. It's amazing he wasn't in more seriously injured - like dead or totally bed ridden with broken bones. The amazements of car safety. Well the three of us got there - there was one man and one came in as our order was being made. In total the three of us ordered 2 sandwiches each. It's funny that I say "sandwich" to describe this beast of a sub sandwich because I feel it's in a league of it's own. By the time we left the shop was filled with 8-9 people that had come in all the while our sandwiches were being made to the time we left. Wait - I didn't tell you what happened earlier that day. Not to me but to...

There are something's that when in a relationship people don't realize they do / don't do that rub the other person in the relationship the wrong way. When one asks the other to accompany them somewhere, whether it is to an event, a dinner, a store, a place... There are those of us that out of a loving composure - do not refuse / complain we will just do it. I am one of these people. Why? It's not because I'm a pushover, not because I'm super easygoing. It is purely out of love. I will accompany you and not refuse because where or what it is - it matters to someone I love. That is all the reason I need not to question / complain. If someone complains in my presence of following through with something - it is an unloving gesture- but if they end up following through after showing a bit of discontent - then the gesture though with the intention of love will be shrouded with the emotion of guilt. Loving someone should not be so difficult - it simply is the sacrific...

There Are No Winners In a break up. Both sides will always lose a person that will never mean the same to one another. The moments they had will become beautiful stories that will only be recited years down the road or never again. About a love that once blossomed- somehow. There are often times as we sit in the midst of the break up and recovery there is the angry faze. Some of us may get over with one thought, others will resurface all the resentment they've ever felt each moment during their relationship. One may name all they've done out of love. One will never do that because they don't believe that's a loving thing to do. In the break up aftermath - I guess we must watch our words. On both sides. Regardless of the emotions. I failed to do so with so many other inter-activities and persons around me. The heart is heavy. And broken due to a long conversation with one I once cared for. Is there ever going back? Can words really be taken back - when they have alrea...