Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Fighting Depression

Not a lot of people know this about me, cause I kept it to myself and dealt with it. I fell into a depression state after the death of my friend in high school. His death was the third I had to deal with in the span of less than two years and it broke me. I broke down in front of people I never show such emotions to. After that I was never the same. I spent years after that fighting it. Fighting the want to just keep to myself and hide in my mouse hole. Trevor was very much my clutch during this time. He can tell you how at the beginning of our relationship my emotions were everywhere and I would cry about stupid stuff. Stuff I don't even remember. Through time that depression went away, but last night was when I felt it again. Before I went to sleep just as I laid back in my bed. I just wanted to cry. That random feeling of someone reaching into your chest and just taking a hold of your heart. You just feel their fingers grip it in their invisible hands. For some reason, no reason, I felt SO SAD and all I wanted to do was cry. I hate this feeling. The random emotion of sadness. I didn't cry even though I was at the verge of it. I fought it and asked myself why I felt this way. I had no answer, no thoughts, just broken feelings.
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