Saturday, April 03, 2010

What Life Brings

I went out this morning for breakfast with Ben. We went to Ihop. I ordered one thing on the menu that had fruits ( not a huge selection ) but it was good. Strawberry Banana French Toast. We chatted about what's been going on. On the car ride home he tells me he felt abandoned by my lack of communication with him in the last two months. Though we were both very busy with work. I say to him that I knew he would survive without me. He had done it all the years without me since Asian Avenue days. LOL. Anyways.

I get home to find the Desi Method released Shalini's song. It's so good that it inspires me all the time when I hear it. Then I get in motion of creating a beat today and then I wrote a song. Sang it ... recorded it. and that was that. I created a song today.

At dinner however dad tells me that one of our great uncles passed away from the fight with cancer. I hesitate before asking what kind of cancer. He said of the large intestines. Then I ask what cancer grandpa had passed away from. He says he thinks the same something of the large intestines. I want to tell dad about what's been going on with me, but I don't cause ... well I come out and ask "Colon Cancer"? He says "yeah ... something like that." When dad said large intestines and cancer, how did I speculate that it could be Colon Cancer? well cause IBS, ( what the doctor says I may have and prescribed me pills for ) have almost the same symptoms of Colon Cancer. So I've done my research. Dad tells me to watch my bowel movements and watch what I eat. [ I don't tell him that Colon Cancer was what I thought I had before I went for my check up in January ] I nod my head at him. It doesn't help me to know that the scare I had, is the same kind of cancer that runs in the family. My regular check up came up a clean bill of health, so I don't even want to think about "might" having it anymore. I've had a good couple months with no relapses and major symptoms so... I'm just happy about that.

I don't want to think about dying ( I've already cried about that ) ... I want to concentrate on living... cause I'm still here.

I'm in love with my song. :) I guess cause it's all mine.
No One Else.
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