Thursday, June 24, 2010

A Nice Drive

My heart today feels like it's about to POP. I find it kinda weird how I miss Ry's voice. It's been a week now he's gone to Europe and it's 2 more weeks till he returns. We text daily but ... I'd like to hear how his trip is going. Not read it in a text message. I'm going to be honest to say that my heart hurt a little when I felt like I knew I wasn't going to be hearing his voice. I know he's traveling around half way around the world. Partying. Yeah I do wish I went but things have been getting crazy in the office. Tomorrow is going to be another long day but I hope it will be a beautiful one. I haven't slept much in the past few days. Three hours per night is not enough for anyone to function on. I lost sleep to working. On art, on graphic design. Tonight I should get my sleep time in. I finished the book I was reading - the greatness guide. Fantastic. Reassures my heart. It adds and stabilizes my foundation of greatness. I have to believe that I will be great cause only then will is naturally come.
After work I came home to find that my sister is setting up a play pen in the game room. I play with baby Ethan for a while before my ride to go driving practice arrives. He's super cute even when he's drooling all over me. I still love him. Mr. CC scared him a little by barking at him though. My friend came to give me some hours of practice behind the wheel. Driving his RSX. I drove to a sushi place to eat. We sat and chatted for a good while as we ate excellent food. I found out more about him and as we chatted I had the sense of DEJAVU like...everything happening was meant to happen. The story he told me about his past, the sad story. We talked about relationships and failed ones. Life. Work. After I drive back home to my neighborhood and drive around. I show him my run route. We explore some streets that I didn't even know of. Practiced some turning into a stall, 3 point turn, driving with the flow of traffic. Lane changes, right and left turns. Head home and back into my drive way. I've come to like driving.

I call Less to wish him a happy birthday. My phone craps out a bit. Keeps hanging up the call. I text him and let him go back to what he was about to do.. call his ex.

My friend Nicki messages me. Flustered would the right word. Wants me to help him take his mind off things. He wouldn't tell me what's wrong. What's really bugging him. I tell him about my change. What's happened to me with my life, health and love. He then goes to tell me he had been thinking of us, and kind of wanting more. I tell him that I'm already with someone now. He wishes me all the best. I tell him that the reason I love him, is the same reason I hate him. I describe him as a tough cookie. Sweet and Hard to chew through and swallow. I asked him to do something for me. To think of what it is he really wants out of life and believe it will happen. He's a manager of a restaurant. How can he not apply the same principals he has towards work to his life? I mean He makes a list of what needs to be done then goes into work and does it. You can do that with life too. Make a list of what you want and focus and want it, believe it's yours and magical things happen.

I have officially decided to change the status on my fb. Save anymore drama with boys who weren't man enough to give chase, grab me by the hand, take me in a little closer as we hug. In the words of Ry, you snooze you lose. I'm happy I found someone who makes me feel like I'm worth it. I will love better than I did before. Purely and wholly with my heart. I will adore him like no other girl as before or ever will because he's worth it. I can only hope for the same.

In Calgary Ry said to me that our friend teased in a bit asking him if I was the first thing he thought of in the morning and the last thing he thought of at night. He confesses to me that ... I am ♥

Ry has already surprised me with his communication with me, how he has the way to sense my emotions and addressing them. I don't need to say anything if I'm upset and my heart starts to ache. He'll know. When he shows me that he is aware of my feelings - I return to an understanding state of mind. He makes me feel like we're connected even when we're half a world apart.
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