Saddened

I didn't know why I was feeling a bit down lately. Especially around this time of year. March used to be the month of happiness cause it Used to be the anniversary month. I'm getting my dates mixed up. And right now, I just don't want to go to work. At all. The 11th of this month is the Birthday of one of my friends and my art teacher. Sadly however is the fact that they have both passed away. One in '99 ( my teacher ) and one in '08 ( my friend ). Both fabulous females passed away to illnesses. Sad really, the fact that the last time I saw them alive was when they were in icu's. My friend passed on the 15th just a few days after her birthday. The 18th of this month would have been 9 years if I were still with the X. But this month is spring. I should be happy, I should be thinking of new life.

I'm working hard to get my computer up to speed. To get everything ready for what I feel is about to come. More work. More rewards. More ( crossing fingers ) happiness.

I'm starting to really feel sick again. And in feeling sick, I'm back on the meds. Are they helping? I don't know. I just have a feeling of *something's missing* / *something's wrong* right now and I can't put my finger on it. It's that eerie feeling you get when something really really big is about to happen, you just don't know what it is or when it really is going to happen.

Maybe it's just LIFE, that's waiting to happen for me.