Behind SyloArts

I Hate Assumptions Well I was working away at my desk when the fed-ex guy that works my building comes in. I get creeped put by this guy. He's always trying to make small talk. I like ups guy better. He always seems so happy and makes the effort to actually learn my name. Anyways. Fed-ex guy asks, "are you winning?" I thought he said, "are you Winnie?" I was a bit confused. And I said, "I'm not Winnie", then he repeated himself. I said, "oh, I'm not playing games." a bit annoyed at the assumption that I was when he said he couldn't see what's on my monitor. I was working, I ended up transferring almost all the content from a current website to our newly designed site for a client of ours by the end of today- and that only took half the day. I'm on my way to a meeting and I wonder as I take my time if I'd be early. Well I met with the manager of a Starbucks. To see about getting art up in their store. I think person...

Well mmmm awesome summary? I dunno what to say. Lol. Surprises started with mom with a small bag full of gifts. And they were pretty nice too. A pair of shoes, a box of chocolates and jewelry and a tank. I wasn't expecting mom to win in her choices, but she did. I did the traditional Denny's breakfast right at midnight with god brother and two friends that I met last year too. which was nice. They rolled up in an Escalade which surprised me. I didn't know what was going on. After a little joy ride, speaking to a friend about friendship. I went to sleep, went to work and later that day the boyfriend spoiled me. Having flowers sent to my work place. He got me a birthday card with a pair of "boo" bee's on them. Which was so cute! Dinner was at Joe Fortes (first place he wanted to take me out to dinner to), I got surf and turf and the boyfriend ordered the pasta. A surprise birthday cake, bubbly, and a present. Mmmm seems a bit unreal, such good food. As I s...

My birthday officially happens at 11am today pacific time. but around the world where the time would be 2am. Lol I asked my friends if I reserved the right to party from there on out till the 29th ends on this side of the world. How many hours of partying would that amount to? 37 hours? That's a little bit too extreme on my part. I can only pray for a good day today. And for tomorrow as well. Lately I've been watching amine lately. I caught up on naruto and now I'm trying to catch up on bleach. Why have I been resulting to watching cartoons? Well, I felt it was about time I do what I used to do to go back, not mentally, but creatively. I admire how creative bleach is because of the fact that their intro screen to every episode is unique and different. They make the effort to have it different every time. One of the other reasons I returned to doing so is because well, for the longest time I felt it was weird. I mean it's one of those things I did with my ex for so long...

Be Limitless I appreciate a lot more now than I did before. I have an upcoming meeting this tuesday and to be honest I'm nervous. A day before my birthday. Mmm my dreams are growing larger before me. My heart feels like - endless love coming and going. A part of me wants so much to expand my emotions and turn from the ugly emotions of this world. I should always look at the brighter side of things even though my libra side of me will always make me look at both sides of the spectrum. I should always want nothing but the best for everyone. Why? If I wish I'll will, it makes my heart sink. Makes me genuinely feel like an awful person. Speak well, Dan well. Forget what needs to be forgotten, remember the best of times, learn from the worst of times. Move forward, not backwards in life. Know evil, but not preach it. Seek to guide as you seek guidance. Don't believe you're as wise as you could be - because there's always someone out there that knows something you don...

ok, today work was hectic. Things are getting so hectic that we had to call in my back up girl to come help out. After work I go a bit birthday shopping for myself. Then I head home for dinner and then a photography shoot. Vik needed the practice and I - I need the shots. Anyways - A while back ago I messaged someone. I simply asked how they were doing and they replied back with the assumption that I'm looking for sex from them. This thought totally disgusts me. I'm genuinely trying to show some care to ask / wan to know how someone is doing to only have it turned on me. Why? Why is it so bad to ask someone how they are doing, regardless of who they are. I'm tired - My innocent wonderment of the well being of others get turned and thrown back into my face as some other twisted idea and malicious attempt of some sort, or some other hidden meaning. Like it's so wrong to just care. Have you ever questioned the purity of your own heart?

No Music No Love I've been living without my headphones for 3 days now going to work and this silence, no music around me *sigh* makes me feel a little empty. Does music feed my soul? I've been thinking if I should tell my dad I'm thinking of moving out. No, not just thinking, I should be well on my way to planing it. If I rather choose happiness, why am I still at home? Where my input counts for shit. Where I struggle to be happy. My dog is driving me nuts. Now it's midnight / whatever AM barking. I'm going to express what I've been thinking lately, that's been weighing on my shoulders. At home, no questions are asked, perhaps the most by be, but answers are rarely replied that satisfies the needs to fulfill them. In my home, I will never be thin enough, smart enough, good enough of a daughter, anywhere close to a perfect housewife, I perceive to have no passion, wasted talent, no give - all take. Knowing that I should not believe this perception of myself ...

Hot and Sweet Please Monday. After work. My bf comes and picks me up from work to chauffeur me home. I hearts him . >_< omg. Anyways. During our drive home we went to go pick up something. I'll tell you one great thing about my guy is that he's super considerate. I noted I had to go pee. And he asks if I can hold it or we find the closest gas station. Why on earth would I find this considerate? I'm just used to the, too bad so sad answer where it would lead me to having to hold it in and almost bust a bladder. Anyways my guy's super sweet to stop at the nearest station for me. I head home to drop my stuff off and my guy drops me off at a Starbucks where I'm meeting up with a friend I haven't seen in ages. I see mr. Jeremy - he was a funny guy in school. Ugh loved his personality. Underneath it - smarts. Never discount people. The smart ones never show how smart they really are until you start to notice them. - let's continue. I go in and have the har...

No Sacrifices, No Gains Well during the week, I wanted to go clubbing on Friday. Yet as Friday came closer and closer I was upset about the fact the bf had traded his work day to work that day. I wasn't upset about not being able to go, it was more about the word that he had said he would go with me. He apologized but oh well. Not everything can go your way. Suck it up and turn the situation. I end up finish writing the lyrics to the beats that Esjay had provided me and ended up recording it that night and sending off my version of the song to him for review. He enjoys it and tells me that we should make that an actual song. That I have to practice hard now. Hmmm never though the day would come so soon. Actually working towards a song to be released for public ears. Hmm makes me nervous but then I think about the fact that it's no different than having some one see your artwork. It's the same basis. One sacrifice for the night was another step towards a goal. Saturday- Ry ...

The unknown sadness. Well actually it's not exactly unknown. But for the most part, it gets harder to shake it, it's taking longer. Lacking emotional control? Maybe I'm PMSing and my visitor is on it's way. I've been eating breakfast later, that maybe one of the reasons I've been feeling sick. I'm breaking out uncontrollably and seems like the new and expensive face wash isn't doing what I'd like it to. But then again i haven't been using it that long. I've been thinking of hitting up the library downtown and just spending a few hours going through some Asian art books. As good as online is with easy access to visual information, I still like the fact I'm holding something physical in my hands. And it's easier on my hands. My birthday is coming up and I've been debating what I want to get myself. I realized I really need a new comp. That reminds me that it wasn't too long ago I had to upgrade my laptop. The Pc downstairs ...

Another day and for some reason today seems Brighter than the last, not just weather wise, but emotionally. I didn't sleep till late last night, setting up the perfected wiring of the earrings that I've been making. Baby pink, blue and purple are my colors so far. The pair I'm wearing today is a tester with beading to weigh down these super light earrings. I kept losing my original pair- but always found the other like ... Well fate. Anyways. As I stood there waiting for the sky train this morning I figured out my birthday wish. Hmmm ... I don't particularly believe in .. If I tell people, it won't come true. So here it is. I wish for you to be happy, loved and cared for. Not just for tomorrow, or the day after, but for the rest of your life. You. Because you are / were / still some one I once / currently love. You are still in the spectrum of my thoughts, thus still in the realm of my heart and love. Though I have not been able to give you as much as I wish I di...

I've been ignoring my diary duties.. Ahh but I've been making these earrings. Trying to perfect them before I start to make more and sell them. However it takes a while to make. Maybe I'll make some for my give away. In another entry I had laughed at someones misfortune. When I shouldn't. I've started to worry and feel a bit sad about the situation and life altering choices that they have to make now. I've even come back to think about that theory of how messed up it is that you can become perfect strangers with someone you used to love. Mmmm well I still keep in touch with most of my ex's but. I still care for them in the sense I want them to be well and happy. There it is again. Miss Too Nice for her own good. I should wish them happiness in this time, that they have help. Here is my prediction. They will in this time, discover the love of their family. How great their parents are to them. Because families all have a choices. To cope, to aide, and to tu...

Lately I've been trying to per-fect how to make these earrings. I want to make a set for my friend for Christmas cause I said I would.. a few years back but a lot of stuff happened and well ... I've decided if they are cool enough... I'll stick some on ebay to see how well they sell and also just make some for prizes for my give away time. I got a chance to sit and talk to Sundeep my friend today.... another well needed sit down and chat. :) it was .. nice.

You know those mornings where you just wake up and just go - go - go? Well I had one of those this morning. I spoke to cousin Jonny the other night. It was nice to chat and see what's going on with the Lee's. When I was cousin Bruce's house, I was talking about movIng out in the near future. He suggested that perhaps I look into asking uncle Hon about renting out the basement. Man I would love to live there and steal Rocky for runs. Aww I miss Rocky :( . But I know it would be awkward if I did. I know uncle Hon and fa would invite me up if there was a family get together held at their house. Cousin Jonny said it would be cool to have someone he knew living downstairs. Lol- I think my door would be open to him any time he needs to rant. Wait ... Maybe not all the time. He'd have to text me first. Hahaha. Man - I got a new beat from Sundeep yesterday and it's so mad crazy!! I love it. He keeps getting better and better. I feel like I have to step up my game. I'v...

Running on low sleep. It's been hard for me lately to go to sleep. I find myself laying in bed just thinking. It was the same way when I was really sick. I'd just feel so unproductive to just sleep. I could be doing something. Then the realist me comes in to say that I need to sleep to have energy for tomorrow. My sun color is fading and my winter paleness is coming back. I've been doing a mix of things at home. I should be doing laundry, but since the dog slept on the bed with me last night, I guess I have to wash my sheets now too. I love the sun or at least when the sun is out in Vancouver. I cN take one day of rain for a week of sunshine. I absolutely love it! I've been in good spirits and have been busy thinking business wise. I'm back to the thought that I need to do this and that. I slowed down due to my artist block but I've been trying to push through it. I have been buying art supplies and other items to help me through it. I'm starting to love the...

My good days get clouded by the end of the day when I come home, sit at the table and then hear whatever it is he has to say to me. This morning I didn't even want to get out of bed, but I did. I pulled myself out of bed, showered and then I got ready and went to work. I rarely eat breakfast at home anymore, there's never food I can / want / don't like to eat. I'd buy stuff for breakfast but I'd just get an earful of what I shouldn't eat and I should stop buying crap food to eat cause that's the reason why I gain weight and am fat. [ I seriously need to move out ] YUP - that's right. Anyways... you know how crazy wonderful it is when you just listen to some music and then ... you feel just right. That's what happened to me this morning. I was listening to my headphones and I was feeling so fantastic I was so excited, not about work. More about ... LIFE. I play Kingdom Hearts on my hello kitty covered case DS - on my way to work. I don't get ver...

I wake up in the morning and if I feel the slight chill in the air. I pull the blanket over me and unknowingly I'll search for the warmth of your body. When I'm alone, I have to remind myself, - I'm not in your bed and you're not beside me. I give a little sigh and wiggle myself into the pillows around me and imagine that - I am and you are - before I doze back off to sleep. I smile at the little things you do. How I notice you pull the blanket up to cover my shoulders if they are ever baring to chilled air, you do it so you make sure that I am kept warm. ♥ I smile when you hold my hand, even if we're just laying beside one another in bed, even when I'm snuggled up to you. You'll still want to hold my hand. I have to remind myself that you'll get the door for me cause you're that kind of gentlemen.  ♥ Thank You.

... You have raised me, yet never really raised me. You love me, but never really feels like you loved me. You support me, yet it never feels very supportive. You assume, but will never know. You question, yet never ask the right questions. Dad, it really feels like you will never know who I am and all of what it is I do. To you, I will never be smart enough. You say I have talent, but no skills. That.. I think I'm smart, but everyone looks at me and thinks... I'm SO STUPID. One of the biggest things that I shouldn't let get to me, easily does. My dad maybe one of the reasons I'm a blocked artist. The image and thought that I am and will never produce anything good enough to his standards. I shouldn't be creating for him, nor for anybody else but me. Then the thought of his voice pops in my head and it poisons my soul to say. How can you be a great artist if you're painting what other people don't like. See? Do you see why I'm stuck? My conversation wi...

I have a goal... But I won't tell you. Apparently people who announce their goals are less likely to follow through.... Elaborate later.. Sleep now Ok. It's 8am and I'm on my way to work. Here is the gist of it. If you talk about your goals it will in your mind set feel like it's already accomplished and you'll fall through on it. I kind of think this is bs. I mean I say my goals... I follow through because I always keep my word. Maybe the rest of the people in this study are part of that population that does not do what they say... Only says what they'll do but are full of shit. I put my goals out there to remind myself I already said I'd do it. No takies backies kind of deal. I do have a secret goal, but the success of this goal cannot be achieved on my own. Time will tell if it comes true. More like a hope my life goes well and according to the fates that be.

I guess everyone should look at life from this perspective. That next year will ultimately be better than the last. Me and Ry had a informative talk last night. He's obviously one of those guys that are in the mind set that he has to be able to hold his own and be able to provide. I think that kind of mind set is hard to come by these days [ believe it or not, or I've just dated a lot of loser ass holes .. anyways... ] I maybe just used to the fact of always being reminded in the past that I can't rely on that factor and in turn I've become over the years independent and building somewhat of a strong foundation for myself. [ I guess the truth of the matter is that the thought that - that someone will not always be there - the one that says they always will. Knowing I can't always fall back on that thought - that they will be there. ] Is it all that weird to have a girlfriend who's willing to say... Look - I'm here, not really asking for much unless you want ...

Wow, I just watched the movie Scott Pilgrim Vs The World. I must say I haven't watched anything that was so visually refreshing in such a long time. I mean it is the movie for our generation, anyone who was born in the 80's I guess. References to sound becoming visuals remind me of batman. The VS. battles remind me of street fighter and mortal combat. ( yes I know what those games are, I used to be a tom boy and play those games with my guy friends on super NES and a game console that was once called the Sega - damn what ever happened to that system? } The animated visuals that seem to streamline the thoughts of our imagination are brought out beautifully in some strange way with well coordinated music as well. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. So mind blowing and I was giggling / laughing out loud every five to ten minutes .. I think it may have even been shorter. All I can say is I loved it. Awesome! Go see it if you haven't. I don't think it would bore you unless y...

Sometimes life likes to do that to you, punch you in the face. That's just how life works. It's pretty late, I'm tired yet I'm waiting for my hair to dry so in the process I thought I would just blog a bit. I get a bit of news today and I can't help but laugh at someone's life's misfortune due to the consequence of their own actions. That's mean isn't it. I look back and I think, even though I haven not succeeded a lot this year to my expectations, I've accomplished a lot. A lot more than what a lot of other people has the opportunity to say. I can only hope for an even better upcoming year. I've hit 500+ subscribers on youtube, that's half way to one of my life goals. :) . My work is currently constantly expanding ( even though it's only graphic design ). I'm youtubing my fine arts - this is baby steps to success. Because I now drew interest of my bf onto my book, I'm editing it again once more and sending chapters to him to ...