My birthday officially happens
at 11am today pacific time. but around the world where the time would be 2am. Lol I asked my friends if I reserved the right to party from there on out till the 29th ends on this side of the world. How many hours of partying would that amount to? 37 hours? That's a little bit too extreme on my part. I can only pray for a good day today. And for tomorrow as well.
Lately I've been watching amine lately. I caught up on naruto and now I'm trying to catch up on bleach. Why have I been resulting to watching cartoons? Well, I felt it was about time I do what I used to do to go back, not mentally, but creatively. I admire how creative bleach is because of the fact that their intro screen to every episode is unique and different. They make the effort to have it different every time. One of the other reasons I returned to doing so is because well, for the longest time I felt it was weird. I mean it's one of those things I did with my ex for so long. But I'm quite comfortable watching it on my own. I believe the thing that's been happening with me that people might mistake the reflection of the longest relationship I've had in my life as - not being to let go. Where it's most definitely the opposite. The fact I have the ability to journal freely with these thoughts with have little emotional repercussions in the memories they hold. Says to me that my exporting of these 'thoughts' from my personal being is me letting go. May it be an attempt to release it from my breath - silently through thought - writing or spoken word. Not a lot of people express enough to let go. I'll be honest to say sometimes it poisons you without you ever realizing your thoughts, your love, and pure being has be altered by specific events that may have been applied to your heart. I must say the last few months I've been living as much as I can constantly in the moment. Loving purely is simple but not easy. That goes for life itself. Cleaning your slate is a difficult thing. It forces you to look back but at the same time, it asks you not to face it solely on emotion but rational. Realistically the only thing you should ask yourself is not, why? but what. What have you learned? What have you learned about yourself? What do you really desire? And what is it that you feel you deserve? From love, life and happiness. But what cleaning the slate does do is to allow yourself to be innocent again, and gullible in love. Regardless if you get your heart broken the same way or not, it only says you have the ability to love as much as you used to. the way that it made you happy just as much as you were / are making someone else happy.
I look at my life right now and I'm very happy :) because I know the legacy I'm currently creating will be bigger than I can imagine it to be or presently see it to be. If I choose to dream small, small opportunities will arise. If I dream big, the opportunities are endless. I don't know what I'm capable of unless I try and I can't try unless I'm willing to risk.
This 27th year will be greater than the 26th year of my life... Why? Gut instincts. I have to believe it will be. Have to believe it more than ever.
Sent from my iPhone
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