Monday, November 30, 2009

T.O. Day Three . Walking Exploring

After this morning I filmed and I left as I let it upload. I walked down Spadina and walked down towards Queen st. West. and stuck to one side going one way where I reached a park and turned back in time to head home. I hit up a couple and more stores that were in that area that were on my list, but I realized that the other shops I want to hit were further down. I hit up a trendy little shop and was tempted to buy my sister's little bundle of joy to be a gamma-go baby t-shirt. I also hit up another little rabbit stuffy that had a little rattle in it's head. Cute. Super Cute! I hit up Type, a nice little book shop that I can say I can spend more than an hour looking at the graphic books and other books they have in there. There I was tempted to get a children's book about a little rabbit as well for my sister. >_< I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl yet! Right next door The Paper Place. Where I was amazed to see some new innovative pop up calenders, very artistic calenders. I ended up buying some little Christmas presents for my sister and Ran-Ran. On my trip around I hit up the Magic Pony and Some other shops. I go return to DeSerres and get the materials for the painting that I'm planing to do as I'm in town for Frankie as a present return for allowing me to be here. I get a deal on canvases as they are on sale for 20$ for 5 pieces! Great Deal! I bought some paints. Make my way home drop off all my things. Got ingredients to make dinner and ingredients to bake cookies. Frankie did most of the cooking for dinner, as I did more of the baking stuff. Well I can't say that he did help with the mixing of the dough. =) We end the night watching a funny English Automobile Show called Top Gear. And it's time to hit the hay. More exploring for me tomorrow. I think I'll take the street cars around. I don't know where I may be going, but hey. Getting lost sometimes is half the fun and excitement.
There is something that I am really starting to love about this city. Even though I only walked about a couple of hours today. I'm visually full. The graffiti art here is amazing! it's on random things and personally I think some of them are done very well. It's so different than the tagging that I see everywhere in Vancouver. Who cares about tagging, if people see your name everywhere. Your name is nothing if you aren't contributing back in some way to make something more creatively more interesting. The character designs I see, the art. Though this city is a mix of a lot of old and a mix of fresh and trendy. The art is one thing that I'm loving that I see everywhere. They are so randomly placed. for an example. I walked down and saw a broken piece of a skateboard on a street lamp posted about 7 feet or so up. It had a face. For some reason that was interesting to me. I need to get some more supplies for Frankie's art pieces. I bought ten canvases. so look out. I'm going to be painting and filming soon. =)

Sunday, November 29, 2009

T.O. Day Two . Cora, CN Tower, Steam Whistle Brewery

DAY TWO. I wake up and we head out to eat breakfast at Cora's we were lucky enough to beat a bit of a line up. By the time we left the line was just about the hit the end of the block. We walk on over the CN tower and the view is amazing, Frankie tells me that if we didn't have an over cast I would be able to see the whole of T.O. and see how ridiculously big of a city it is. He wonders if it overwhelms me. To be honest, it doesn't. Young-Dundas Square amazed me when we drove by it the other night. It makes me think of an other city that I would like to see one day. New York. I come to think where does Vancouver stands in a development of a city. I mean it is a young city, but it's not particularly smart and it some how to me it feels very slow in becoming to what it should already be. Does that make any sense? Although it is voted one of the most livable cities in the world. We're not as nearly as technology savvy as we should be, our transportation is well branched but poorly planed ( as in time and cost as you travel ) . Development IS slow, and I just watched a news broadcast questioning if Vancouver is even ready for 2010. I don't believe so. If things happen right in Vancouver for the Olympics, it's the best of the best that were hired to pull it off. But the truth is, the handful of the best minds that work phenomenally together can't work if the rest that follow don't have the same strive as those that make things happen. The ones that run the show have the idea of making things the best / better than it has ever been. While the rest that follow seem to only have the mind set that it's just good enough. *sigh* I hate those people. No, it's not just good enough. Give 100%+ to what you do, if you do it. Not 50%, not 25%. Because if you strive with everything you have, you're bound to succeed somewhere somehow. ( Did I just get side tracked. Am I missing home a little. mmmm not really. I've always been a sense on my own. Doing my own thing. ) OK back to my trip.
After great footage I got on CN Tower, inside we raced Fast and the Furious, and afterwords we walk out and around and checked out a furniture shop at The Roundhouse. I think to myself as I look at that name that I'm pretty sure that Vancouver also has a round house. I'm also sure that I participated in an art show there as well. After hitting up that furniture store we head on over next door to a brewery called Steam Whistle Brewery. Frankie giggles and wonders if we could score some free beer. I love his giggle, it's infectious to me. His giggle makes me smile. I find him really refreshing, his little quarks actually make me smile and ...happy. Hmmm *thinking* . We head on in and join a tour and are handed a free sample of the beer.
I want to thank Trish who, is also from Vancouver now living in Toronto. She was a great tour guide. It was great to learn bits about beer, though I'm not much of a drinker I still enjoy a glass time to time. I got to pull a steam whistle which was pretty cool. =) I'm pretty short and had to top toe a little to reach the handle. On our way out we spotted "The Boot" ahh makes me think of one of my favorite movies "Beerfest"
We head home and get some dinner on the way, stopping at Mi-Ne for sushi. We go home for a nap to wake up and I still have a headache, after I take an advil we head out to watch a movie. Frankie takes me to Union Station and shows me how the transit system is. We go to a theater at Yonge-Dundas and I watch my first movie in Toronto there, Ninja Assassin. Rain (Korean actor), you and your pretty hot bod. damn. It's just about time you hit it larger than you already are around the world.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

T.O. Day One

I left Vancouver last night from YVR around 11pm and landed in Toronto a little after 6am (*toronto time* 3am Vancouver time ) and was dead tired ( I was up 24hours straight ). The man that sat next to me was happily reading his book the half of the flight As I tried to sleep. It wasn't till we were starting our decent into Toronto when I started to feel it. The headache and neck pain from the dozing off here and there on the flight over. I touch down and I text #1) Frankie baby. #2) Everyone else. I had filmed silently a little before I had left YVR and when I was waiting to claim my baggage. My babes is there to meet me as I step out with my bags. I'm greeted with a big smile and big hug. Nothing warmer when go somewhere for the first time. =) We head home to sleep Z_Z a good sleep. We wake up and get ready to head out for our day.

We head out and Frankie takes me on the street car, he hands me this coin that is a transit token of Toronto. It's very cool looking. unique to the city.

I wonder why we don't have something like this implemented in Vancouver. Where ever we are headed we just pay one toll fee to where we want to go, or we get monthly / weekly passes. We head out for breakfast in Chinatown and I watch attentively to the different surroundings T.O.'s Chinatown. it's area strangely reminds me a little of San Fran's Chinatown. Except with wider streets. We eat con-gee with Chinese doughnut and an extra dish of shrimp rice roll at Gold Stone for breakfast. We then walk on over to the AGO. We go in and were advised to start from the top and work our way down. Planing this gallery trip was unexpected. What was so unexpected was HOW BIG the AGO is. It's HUGE. so much to see and as you make your way around to every piece you start to feel you're spending too much time in one area. Room after room after room. By the end. I can only explain this as a visual overload.

I was however a little concerned for Frankie as he walked around with me looking at the artwork and photography exhibit. A good sport none the less. ♥ After a 3-4 hours of exploring the AGO. We were pooped we head on home and on the way he shops a little taking a peek into Zara and buying a pair of new work shoes at Aldo. We make our way home and take a nap before we headed to I COOK BUFFET a very popular restaurant where you cook your own hotpot dinner. The Buffet part is where you go up and fill your own dish of what you want to cook in your hot pot. I wonder, if a restaurant with this concept opens up within Vancouver, would it be successful? Dinner is done and we head on home. Frankie cranks the sound system in his little cute Honda and I can't believe my ears. His sound system is by far the best I have heard, ever! the sound is so crisp it's amazing! We go to the little grocery shop to get some juice and bread and get home just in time to watch the Canucks game.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Ahhhhhh YVR I Heart You

I'm now sitting in the airport waiting for my flight to board which is an hour from now. I'm sitting here on my iphone?! Why when I have my MacBook next to me? Stupid me? This way is faster and handheld! That's why! I'm not so nervous anymore thanks to dad's nagging. At what I wear. Telling me what I should pack. Why I'm not dressed enough. I really can go on but it will make my blood boil. Work was tedious. I don't know why LAN gave me a giant luggage now I can't buy extra stuff. I wonder. Well my shampoos. Socks? Underwear? Lingerie? LOL jkjkjk. I had to take off my boots and get a bit felt up at the gate but hey all standard to me. I don't mind. My belt buckle and watch set the detector off. I'm sleepy. I think I should shoot a little clipit or something. Dunno. Thinking. I wonder how bright it will be if I used my lappy. Ahhh I like how I can blog as I wait for my flight. I'm a bit nervous but I'm more happy about the fact that I will be seeing my baby soon. My frankie baby! First time in 8+ years. I smile at the thought of him and my nervousness disappears. This getaway is what I need after all the creative juices all drainedout of me.


I can't really blog cause I've been busy and will be so for the next 48 hours.
So I'm going to do this really quick. I'm nervous. Seeing him for the first time in 8 years + yeah I'm nervous. He's so different. Refreshing. something I am in need of right now at this point in my life. Today is a life changing day. F- that. Everyday should be a life changing day. Emotions running up and down and round and round. It is only then you will feel alive. I'm pretty sure I'm ready. I have to design something really quick for someone but yeah.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Shopping Therapy & Missing LX

Yup! I bought a Tokidoki. I couldn't help myself for 130$ Canadian. I found it at winners. I have one already but that was a gift from the X. I almost douche kicked some people when coming down the stairs from the skytrain. They were walking so slow that I missed my bus. I was SO MAD! then I went shopping. I got the bag at winners. I then went to Bestbuy and got my camera battery and a camera case for the Nikon Cool Pix I have. It's already got some scratches from being in my purse. Thank God it has a screen protector on it. I'm now thinking do I want to keep the bag, give it to my sister. Keep this one give the old one to the sister? cause I have a feeling her baby may color in the lines one day thinking it's a carrying coloring book. Should I pick up a new luggage case or make way with what I have. I think what I have will do. I have yet to expand it and I don't think I will be shopping THAT much in T.O. I'm there to take lots of pics. Make new friends, see old ones and create GREAT memories.

Monday, November 23, 2009

You Define Your Happiness

I realized I have to do this. That I have to define my own happiness. What does this mean? That I can't allow others be the definition of my happiness. *does that make sense*?
Work Work. had a photoshoot. work and more work.
Things I have to remind myself to get before I leave. Camera lens wipes. < I had two, now I have no clue where they are. Extra batteries for my camera and my camcorder. I'm debating if I want to buy a bigger suitcase cause the one my sister lent me was just small enough. *she's only traveled to hot places*  I'm going to one during the brink of winter. Which means, I'm packing extra socks, jacket, pants. clothes....damn it.  I'm getting a bigger suitcase. >_< but i don't wanna spend money on one.
Things to focus on before I leave. Designing an invite and designing a birthday card.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Baby Shower =)

I went to my big sisters baby shower today. She's due in Jan. I will be an aunt, a real aunt soon. The excitement of that has yet to really really hit me. I guess I'm not worried cause my sister is going to be a great mom. I was really shy to mingle. Everyone else seemed to know someone else there in their little groups. It was funny how I walked in with a smile and a "HELLO" and people look at me like @_@, "who is she?" .  I almost burst out laughing when walked up to a large circle group of friends with a big smile and a HUGE wave hello. It's interesting to watch other people's reaction. I opened up just a little, but I kinda felt out of place. Alone really. Lan's (*my big sis*)  life is all focused on this baby cause she has to be. I'm focused on me. Thinking to myself that it's so great things are going so great for her. And then there's me. Working my way and building my foundation all over again. This time hopefully things will be more solid for me as I branch out stronger than before. I'm taking more chances, focusing more on ME. I just finished writing another song in the span of two three days. I don't know if it's the poet in me that's returning to full bloom. My artistic inspiration has yet though. I will be bringing my sketchbook with me to Toronto. Seeing if a change of surroundings will trigger a bit more change in the right direction.
I'm nervous to see Frankie, actually now it's more turned into excitement. I like him a little more after learning that he's into photography as well. *smirk* I'm starting to thank god a little more each day for him. For making me smile and most of all feel loved in some way again. He seems to bring back something that I haven't felt in a long time. It's not the feeling of something new. As in ... It's so fresh and exciting. No... it's not that feeling. More in the sense of ... This is how it should be like... *sigh* Does that even make sense? I'm trying to detach a little. Because these few up coming days are going to be a little hectic for me with work so I can't even focus too much on how I feel about going there. I tried to plan my days, I have locations all written out of where I want to visit. I'm almost fully packed. 80% to be honest, that's how much time I think I won't have this week to worry about getting ready for this trip. I'm thinking what I'm going to do for video of the week. Wondering if I'm going to be posting more while I'm in Toronto?  Do I want to go to Toronto Aquarium by myself? I also wonder... what's Frankie feeling... he's probably just as focused on his work as I am.
I'm going to be manning work alone again tomorrow. I got quite a busy couple days ahead of me. Time to focus and not let emotions get the best of me. November is said to be my power month. I need to make it so.

Saturday, November 21, 2009


I got this off a friends, friend on facebook.
It's very true, yet a part of me believes in originality still.

Am I Dreaming?

Lately I've been describing the guy I'm currently "seeing" ( I say this cause we see each other but I don't know, it's hard to explain. ) like a dream. I ask myself is he for real? not just a figment of my imagination. That I haven't gone crazy in the last couple months and my psyche created this fantastic great guy @_@. My cousin assures me that I'm not, that he's real. And I turn to her and ask her. Are you real? @_@ . LOL . *smiles*
She's been staying with me for six months now and will be going home today. I'm going to miss her so much. I confided with her, she helped me go through my break up and we had lots and lots of great laughs together. She saw everything from both sides. She has now been the only other person in my life that has ever seen things from my side of the looking glass. Thank You. LX. when you read this. I just want to say. I love you. You will always have someone that loves you, even though I may be half a world away. I'm only but a click, a text, an email away. I will dedicate a video to you one of these days. =)
Last night till early this morning. I'm talking about 2am, I was baking cookies with cousin LX to bring some back home and for the upcoming baby shower I will be attending tomorrow. It surely was a great way to get some aroma therapy before sleeping this morning.
I'm now getting ready for Toronto. A couple days away.
I check up on my video today and it's insane to think that I got around 10 subs in the last 24 hours and my newest video is about to beat my last weeks in a matter of days. INSANE. Thanks for all the love world. ♥

Friday, November 20, 2009

Thunder+Lighting+Hail = HATE

Yes I hate this combination, I'm walking home from the bus stop and as I step out of the bus the ground is covered with SLUSH! I hate slush. The lighting and thunder didn't calm my nerves either. I'm whiny crying as my high-top dunks and jeans are getting wet and my feet are getting cold as I make my way home. *uuuhhhhhhh huuuhhhh huhhhhh* (ugly sobbing)

Thursday, November 19, 2009

It All Means Something

Yes I did a video naming the first 100 things that I want to do in life.
Life Goals
My list of goals are not new, but the next one hundred will be. I video recorded this so that when I start to post achievement videos people won't start thinking I'm crazy when I post. Life Goal number what what. I'm hoping to break a handful of these goals when I get to Toronto. So I'm going to be in for a load of filming and fun.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Rev's Bowling then Shopping

There is a number of things that happened today that really put me in a panic. Or made me feel like. WTF! This morning I made breakfast for me and cousin LX before we left for the bus, purchasing all day passes so we can go where ever for the whole day traveling between cities. I took Cousin LX to go bowling. She did a great job her first time out! we bowled for an hour and after our fingers got a little sore. We started to head out shopping. Unexpectedly the zipper on my boot pops off. Fixable I would think. A great guy at Rev's who worked there was kind enough to supply me with safety pins before I made it to Brentwood Mall. I thought well since it was a simple zipper fix, I the lady at the clothing place maybe able to fix it for me. She says NO, ( without ever looking at it ) and sends me next door to the shoe fixing place. The man at the shoe fixing place wasn't very much help either. He didn't look at my problem either and said he couldn't help me cause I'd have to replace the whole zipper. WTF! I thought to myself enough was enough. I would just have to drop some money and invest in some new boots. I go to Pay-less, Ingledew and Shoe Warehouse. I decide to buy a pair of boots from the shoe warehouse. Grey Waterproof boots that are casual for walking an about winter city. After leaving the shoe store wearing my new boots and tossing the old ones ( cause the zipper couldn't be fixed ) after leaving the washroom I realized, where's the umbrella. >_< I return to the previous stores and realize I had dropped it in payless, thank god it was still there. We left and headed for downtown Vancouver in search for a skin cream called Egyptian Magic that seems to be having great reviews. Finding it at Capers Community Market. I always enjoy going to organic markets. I don't know why. I guess one of my motto's , the body is a temple, how you choose to treat it means a lot. Faith in yourself kind of way of thought and respecting it. We head out for BBT at Bubble World. The original shop on Robson where I fell in love with Green Tea ice cream BBT. Thanks to JT. We later head to PC, then to Metro for more shopping. During our little shopping trip at metro I lost my credit card, only to have left it in one of the last shops I visited. I returned there an the cashier girl was nice enough to keep it safe for me. A total life saver! My day wasn't over. I head to SFU campus for a late meeting in the lobby and I we chat away, bouncing ideas and updating one another since the last Desi Method meeting. I love these meetings, I can't help but feel that gut feeling that it's something worth building upon. That I really want to be a part of this. Perhaps it's more on the basis that it feels more like a collaboration of creative minds. I get home to chat a bit with Frankie before ending the night with 2 movies. 9 and Jumanji.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Planning Ahead

Well I did a number of things this morning that involves me looking ahead. What I need to do, what I need to get and what will be in store. I ordered more contacts cause I find myself running low. I love my colored contacts, well because I've only been wearing them the last year or so. This time I ordered more Grey and Blue, I've never tried blue and the odds of that color standing out with my eyes are probably slim. I cleaned up my room a bit more. Placing bags that are filled with things that are needed to return to my sister up into my closet. My luggage is currently being partly packed for Toronto. Yes. Early to pack, but I'm eager about my trip. I did all my laundry, chat a bit with FL. I feel so different when I think about him, how he treats me. Maybe because he is different than any of the guys I've been with before. There is something about him that makes me smile, the little things that mean so much. *smiles* . The motivation I feel to be better, to be me and just me, to be comfortable with just life.

Tonight I watched Bedtime stories. That movie is so inspirational, I love Adam Sandler movies. Though some are a little dumb. I personally love 50 first dates, I love the combination of Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler. The wedding singer ♥ was perhaps what made me fall for the onscreen couple. Giving a little ray of hope that love stories exist and can happen. I still believe in it. I hope to tell my future kids one day the interesting love story of how and what came to be between me and their father. Hopefully. A girl can only dream to find love like that. My dreams however all become some kind of goal for me in life so I may strive to achieve them. I added two more items to my 100 goals in life extending it to 102.

101. Visit Whistler, Canada. ( reminded and added through Chew )
102. Run in a Charity Run / Marathon. ( I thought I love running, might as well run for something worth wild )
List of Goals < UPDATED

Tomorrow, is bowling in the morning, shopping and a meeting later on in the day. I hope my adventures tomorrow will lead to lots of laughs, memories and great videos. ♥

F.L. For Love. For Life

I'm feeling something very strange right now as I lay here watching TV, thinking to myself. Each day comes closer to my trip to Toronto. I'm nervous, excited, I really can't explain this feeling I'm feeling in the pit of my stomach. I really gotta start planing this trip soon. What I'm going to do on my days there. Should I just wander and go photography crazy?

I've also been feeling that I'm missing something. It's not what I'm missing really. It's what I should have, what I'm working towards to gain again. My life. My life as a whole, understanding who exactly I am and what I should live for. I'm almost there, it's so close, I can feel it.

I'm living now for me, for love, for life. =)

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Worrying . Burning + Deleting

I'm worried about someone right now, I don't know, I just want him to be alright. B. is a great guy but he just needs to find that strength he has within him to pull through this. A part of me also worries if I added anything to his stress, his heartache, I hope I didn't.

Burning + Deleting:
Well this refers to files on my laptop and external hard drive. Burning off X-related files and deleted them. I reordered my aeroplans card that I believe he still has which he says he can't find. I keep cleaning out my room going through things and small items keep turning up that are his that have been miss looked, I'm gathering them up and bagging them and will soon drop them off when I find the time to. I soon hope to cut the final strings that no longer need to be tied to this relationship. My last dream confirmed that my emotions and energy shouldn't be wasted on him anymore. My time has been wasted enough and I'm tired. I feel like I'm playing catch up to where it is I want to be in life. Five years ago, I never thought it would be like this.

Life is all about unexpected challenges and we all have to learn how to be stronger and better at everything thing we do and the very person we want to become years from now.

Designs of Awesomeness

Anyways I picked up two design magazines in the last two days.
One is Applied Arts, annual awards issue. Another is a web design magazine.

Well here is a cool little link that I will keep in mind and blog for remembrance. ♥
Digital Artist Awards:

Friday, November 13, 2009

My Profile Is Gone?!

No no, It's still me that writes in this blog. I just added my big sis as an admin so she can interrupt my blog posts when she feels like ranting. Also when she feels like editing some stuff.  Friday the 13th. Well I had the best sleep after going to bed at 10:30 - 11pm at night. Woke up by B. who was having relationship problems and me being me. Always wants to be there for everyone that means something. The bus never came this morning, was about to run into an oncoming car catching the other going the other way. I valued my life more than being on time for work, so I chose to be late. But my work is cool that way so I just texted the boss with a heads up. Designed, Designed and Designed at work. After work I decided to go to Sportmart to buy some Hockey Tape to fix my crow mask that ripped apart as we were about the film the last bit of the day earlier this week. Only the find that the Sportmart downtown doesn't carry hockey tape. -_- I ended up heading down to Canadian Tire at Rupert station and got some there. Hitched a ride with the sis, got home wrapped the crow mask in success. It looks like new! Got yelled at by the father cause he thinks that I should run every little detail and decision that I make in my life through "the family"  ( he yelled at me over my cellphone plan which I pay for myself ) and designed Ry's little online banner. Which turned out to take forever cause of him switching photos in the middle ... etc ... finished it, now he owes me ..FOOD.
Time for bed.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Laughs and Heart Warming

Anyways this morning I ate a fruit cup and left for work. On the train I start doing the crossword. mmm where is that thing I was doing really well today! *minutes pass* okay I'm stuck.  Well work was... how you say... interesting. Polishing up a trade show booth design and working on a website design. On my lunch break I snacked on a ice cream cone and read Hugh's facebook notes. What he calls his "Confessions of an Innocent Japanese School Boy" I was laughing at them as I was reading. Trying not to laugh out loud. Giggling, my boss comes over and asks if I'm alright. Apparently he thought I was crying.  FL calls me as I'm working to ask me what seat I would like on my flight over to Toronto, since he was on the phone with the airline. I'm an isle person, considering I go pee a lot cause I'm a small person with a small bladder. But I thought it was very sweet for him to call me and ask me for my opinion. His consideration for me makes me fall even more. Time's flying by and it's only a matter of time till I'm on my way there. I'm SO excited.
I headed on over to Chapters after work and picked up an issue of Applies Arts. Annual design awards issue. I looked to the Communication arts but it was a photography issue and I was debating if I wanted to spend 50$ or so on both magazines. I opted only to get the Applied arts. I need some design inspiration for the project I'm currently working on at work. Now lets see what the world of design has come up with that was so award winning.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

MmmmM Noodles

I come from a noodle from family. Back home in Brunei, my uncle still runs the Noodle shop in Seria that was once started by grandpa. In Miri, Malaysia another branch of the Lo Noodle Family Shop. Today Dad brought me and cousin LX to go eat at a restaurant in Burnaby called Lao Shan Dong. A Homemade noodle shop restaurant. Located right across the street from Metrotown. I've been wanting to go eat there for a while and it was well worth it. Couldn't eat it all and had to pack up all the meat I couldn't finish but it was good. I wish dad didn't cheap out on the tip. But their service was fast and they didn't really come back to check up on us. But I would go back and eat there, sometime soon? I don't know about that. Another place of my favorite is somewhere I always go to get take out Downtown Vancouver. Is Alberni Market. The Auntie that preps the food there is great, she's so sweet and her food is so delicious. I tried to talk her into teaching me how to make Bibimbap but she assured me that it was difficult. OK then. She stopped selling Bibimbap for a while now and just the other day I ended up ordering B.D.B Oh my dear lord it was SO GOOD! photo of my lunch the other day on the right.

Currently: Listening to Mariah Carey

Sleep in Love, Awake with _

This shouldn't happen, my brain shouldn't play such emotional tricks on me.
I go to sleep happy thinking of a little someone that I'm going to see in T.O. and when I went to sleep in my dream I saw the X. I wake up emotionally distraught. I don't understand why I would even still see him in my dreams. It has been SO long that I last saw him there. It's over. I want another guy to be the man of my dreams. More than that to be honest. More than just the guy of my dreams but reality.

Early Morning

Good morning. i came across something really cool. My friend had posted this on facebook. The fun never ends.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Crow Stunt 1 _ Rocky vs Giant Crow

Well this isn't supposed to be my first crow stunt. The real crow stunt had to be delayed due to the cloudy and raining days we've been having. Especially on my days off! When I get to do the real one, it's going to be well worth it. :) But On Monday (yesterday) I headed over to cousin Jonny's place to visit and to film this stunt, well not really a stunt more like a little prank on Rocky. I wanted to see what his reaction would be if I were to confront him in the crow costume. Outcome is on the video. All in all it was a great shoot. Bunch of laughs. My heart always seems to melt when I see Rocky. I love big dogs.

On my way to Jonny's house the wind was blowing and a little rain was coming down and we were busing it there. Cousin LX says as we head for the cross walk towards the bus stop that it can't be worse than what she was doing, holding on to her hood and walking. I asked her, Can't it?! and turned to her with my hood clipped and me looking like an Eskimo. Her reaction: "I take it back!" . LOL .

Today: Work . work . tomorrow is rest day.

Monday, November 09, 2009

6,000 Steps Of Love

No, this blog entry isn't 6,000 steps / guidelines to love. This is story has a staircase of 6,000 steps that was handcrafted through love. I received this through email this morning from Cousin Alice.

To View A Video released from a news story click here I loved watching this, ( in Mandarin by the way ) you can see how the grandma's face still glows as she reminisces about their story. You can see how much she loves him.
One of 10 Famous Chinese Love Stories in China, Chong Qing (Sichuan)
I would be so lucky to feel this kind of devotion and love in my life time <3

It Starts With One

I spent a couple hours last night ( fell asleep and woke back up ) and a couple hours this morning watching something that's educated my self being for the better. Cousin Jonny has an assignment due and I asked what it was about and etc. He tells me it's on a video he had to watch called, "The Age Of Aids". I decided to watch this. Why? Why would I spend 4 hours of my life watching this? Because out of the millions upon millions that have died, people that live and are affected one way or another, this is an entity that exists and will continue to do so for many years to come. Watch the video: "The Age Of Aids"
I named my blog this morning on the fact that it only starts with one. One choice, one action, one cause, one affect and something a lot of people seem to take for granted and over look. One Life. The saddest moment watching this whole video to me was at the very end. When a little girl who's around the age of 6-8 years old asks the doctor, why she is positive ( HIV POSITIVE ). The doctor tells her about a virus in her blood then looks to the mother to ask her if she's explained to her where she had contracted it from. She looks back to the little girl and says, one days when she's older, her mom will tell her. *so heart breaking* This made me realize and wonder when will this cycle return to zero? That fact is currently so far from reality, it can only be a dream.
The Red Ribbon means a lot more to me now and I come to wonder what the other ribbons mean. I wear an awareness ribbon on my charm bracelet in memory of more than just my friend that passed away from cancer, but to remind me that everyone will one day be affected one way or another, I can't forget how precious life and people can become to one another. Here's a list. List of Awareness Ribbons.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

He Pushes Me To The Brink

I don't know what it is. How it always seems to end with me wanting to end my life or at least something close to it. I try my hardest to keep my wall up so my metal state can keep stable and strong but I wasn't made a robot.
I did what I needed to do today, set up Hot Pot, all the food, cut this cut that etc. with the help of cousin LX here and there. When it comes time to everyone gathering and eating my dad first starts commenting on me and how stupid I am. On the dip concoction that I always make. He says I'm stupid, when in reality he has never tried it himself if it's good. Later on near the end of my meal, he comments how irresponsible I am on my eating habits that I don't eat enough fruits and vegetables. I had just finished off plate full of veggies. My dad has no idea who I really am. How in the morning sometimes on my way to work I will drop by a salad-loop and pick up nearly 12$ worth of veggies and fruits to eat. Just cause he doesn't see me doing it, doesn't mean I don't do them. I muster up what ever courage I have to leave the dinner table gracefully and quietly, wash the dishes on the verge of tears and come to my room to blog and shed whatever tears I need to shed to get over this situation. I am always pushed to the brink.

Am I Missing Something

I feel a sudden burst of sadness. Am I missing something? :(

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Artful Return Part 2

I was all nervous this morning about my artful return. Making my way down to the art show with cousin LX was a rough journey. I realized that I'm not really a tall heels person. So if I want sexy heals they better be very comfortable. I had to run to a pharmasave on the way there to get a lint brush roller cause I was covered in dog hair without realizing it when I left the house. I was lint brushing myself with the help of cousin LX at the bus stop. Really it was pretty entertaining to look at if you were paying attention. The skytrain was filled with people, the most that I've seen on a weekend. During this ride my feet were killing me and I only got a chance to sit down for a moment before I gave my seat up to a grandma and grandpa couple. It was only the last 1/3rd of our trip that I get to sit down. But I get to the show. And the rest is up for you to see.

Yes I received an honorable mention award. =) Thank you CCAF and CCC.

This is just a picture of me fooling around with my painting. =)

A Little Bit Of Nervous

I'm nervous as I'm about to get ready for my first art show in 2.5+ years. I've done this so many times before. But I've never been in an absence for the longest time and just return. I love painting, I miss painting, I think about painting and plan in the back of my mind what my next painting should be. I know the next time I bring my paint brush to that rice paper, I'm going to be doing it with the rest of the world watching. Yes I will be youtubing my next painting.

What should I wear. *sigh* I know that the a lot of people around the world is supporting what I do. But, they're around the world. I feel like it's my first art show .. 6 years ago. I don't know what to expect since this is an juried art show as well.

The last one I participated in that was an juried show was in 2006 that was held at the Vancouver public library.

Wish me luck ... time to get ready... put my game face on.

Friday, November 06, 2009

Seeing Clearly

My blog title tonight is one that is for Frankie who just got his eyes lasered and is seeing 20-20 now. YAY *clapping my hands* So when he gets better he should check this sweet new design of a bike that I came across on dexigner. *click link here* But no, I'm also reflecting on the fact of seeing other things clearly.

My boss takes me out to lunch today since things have gotten a bit hectic at work. ALL of a sudden. There was a period of time when it was just once and while but then BAM there was all this work to do all at once. He's happy though at how things are going with the business and I think to myself if things happen to move in a different direction for me, how do I break it to him. I feel bad if I was just up and give notice that I'm leaving, *not yet* but really thinking about moving on in a sense. He goes on to tell me how some of my work thus far was done very well and how it went on get more work from different sources. The snowball effect. That's how it all works, a good job gets more jobs from different sources. I am however thinking in the back of my mind how much of my portfolio has grown and I think it's about time that I reworked it all. I love what I do, I love working at where I work cause hey, I'm the head designer on call right now and I have creative freedom. I do what I do then show the boss variations and make changes. I continue to do what I do cause I'm really good at it. It took some fine tuning, I have a lot more room to grow and I'm getting there.

I want to get to a point where if I'm thrown a concept or basic elements of a design, I can see what should come of it clearly, quickly. I get visions sometimes. Ideas that I spit out at my boss / bosses. I want to become so good that people are wanting to hire me. I don't have to walk in and apply and interview. They just want me to work for them. *smiles* I can keep the dream alive. hahaha.

Listening to Jeremy spinning on Ustream
. I think about the old days where the parties just pound in your chest and all you hear is beats long after the party is over. MmmMm blogging and bopping.. his mix is good *thumbs up*

Awake So Early

I went to sleep early and woke up so early. 4am!
Well today is Frankie baby's laser eye surgery day. I wish I was there to be with him and see him through this. It has to be a bit nerve wrecking. The days are counting down as I get closer to my trip to Toronto. I'm excited, nervous, anxious. =) In my heart I know it's going to be great. Somethings you just feel it.

I'm also excited about tomorrow. Am I really going to get an award? Did my painting really get one of the best of show? mmm... I think to myself, the painting is about 2-3 years old. If I painted one now, how much more awesome can I paint? ... *smiles* ... the more I continue to paint, I wonder at what point am I considered a master of the art. I guess when you're so good that you paint things by heart, no images, no references. I can't even do that yet. Some things I can but there are some that I paint and I just want to get it as realistic as possible. As I paint it in the Chinese style. I put up my Koi painting that was submitted into the art show for 5,000$ Canadian. I hear my dad is a bit upset by me even placing it up for sale. I found out it's his favorite. The truth is, I need to make some money. Fine arts is not a cheap career and neither is graphic arts. My dad has to realize that was the first attempt of a Koi painting done of that size. I've grown, I know I can do better, so there is nothing to really be sad about. It turns out my sister had secretly claimed the same painting as well and was shocked to find it gone off the walls of my house when she came by the other day. LOL. Her face was priceless.

WTF moment of yesterday: A little after dinner there's a burning smell. My dad tells me to track it down. I do. It was coming from the microwave. MOM had stuck something in there, she doesn't even know how long she set the timer for. It burned and may have almost burned the house down. The microwave was super hot. I thought it was something on top of the microwave that was starting to burn. There was still 5mins on the timer when I stopped it but opening the microwave door.

Thinking about Toronto: There are so many things that I want to experience with Frankie. =) Not only sight seeing with him but I want to make him breakfast *pancakes? waffles?*, bake cookies with him, bake him banana bread. Make him noodles. Cook dinner together. Grocery shop together and so much more. I feel like there's so much time in our lives to experience more together, yet so little. *sigh* =( I'm going to be there for ... 12 days and he's back in town for 6 . We have 18 days together. I want to make the most of that time together. I really do. *UGH* *smiles* It always brightens up my day when I think back to that night he said he wanted to treated me out to eat ice cream in Cantonese. *ugh* SO CUTE >_< !

It's 5am, I'm gonna work out a bit in bed *stomach crunches* and get some more shut eye before I have to get ready for work. bye bye bye.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

A Good Feeling Today

Even though I was running late this morning I had that it was a good day feeling. I did however wake up to find my phone that was plugged into my comp to charge had shut off during the night / morning. I woke up wondering why my alarm didn't wake me and why I woke up myself. I reached for my phone and it was off. I turned it on to find it was almost seven. I quickly open up the laptop to check my messages and found no emails. I thought to myself =( *baby must still be upset* . Last night when me and him said our goodbyes, I thought to myself, we are alike in that sense. When someone upsets me greatly. I'll have a vent moment but I'll have a long moment of time where I'll be very quiet. VERY PISSED. My mind will be raging because whatever whomever had just offended me was unjustified to do so. I keep a lot of anger in for a number of reasons. I don't feel the rest of the world needs more negativity spewing from me. You won't only not hear a word from me when I'm mad, you'll feel it. I would still in a sense try to keep it to myself. I vent to relieve and get it out of my system.
I head to work. At the station i do my routine of picking up a 24 hours . I read the news, my horoscope, and attempt the crossword that on some days that is a hit and a miss. I come across an article that makes me think of Chris *my god brother*. I feel that the negativity of his past relationships have left him with an uncertain thought about and towards girls. I hope this article helps him. *attaching the article link here called "YOU GOTTA HAVE FAITH"* Since I had let the boss know I was running late, I ran into a store to grab some snacks to keep me going during the day. The lady asks me if I have my aeroplan card. I don't, the last time I remember the X had it in his possession. I remember that I'm only 4,000 points away from a trip. So after I head into the office I text the X to search if he still has it in his possession. I haven't been eating proper lunches the last two days. I worked through the day and didn't really take a lunch break. I guess it was to make up for the lateness of me. But I finished two trade show booth designs and was working on starting to redesign for a coffee shop franchise website. This upcoming project is going to be huge. I think I'm going to be tied up working downtown for a while, this and upcoming weeks. I thought today as I was working, how I could cheer up Frankie baby. I ask my sister for advice of how she cheers up her fiancee. She says with lots of hugs and kisses. Well I obviously can't do that. I though I should video myself shaking my butt and dancing to a compilation of awesome songs. You know, what I usually dance like as I goof off working out. Like... *singing* I like big butts and I cannot lie! You other brothers can't deny when a girl walks buy with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get... *mcHammer* uhhohhh uhhhoohh uhhhohh.. uhhohhh uhhhoohh uhhhohh.. *Vanilla Ice* Ice Ice Baby... LOL... Yes I would have done it! Just to cheer my baby up. *thinking* I should do it I think it would be hilarious just to have a fun video up that a friend can play at anytime to have a good laugh. Whenever they are angry, sad, upset. I go onto plan two as I head home. I went in search for the Hoodie he wants to get. I hit up PC again, I know I hit it up yesterday, but I went back to check the racks. All M,L,XL. I didn't even find the girls version in white. I thought to myself since I will be working the next couple of days I should hit up Metro. I go and walk around a bit, text my sister to see if she'd be interested in coming and helping me search. I look around as I wait for her to make her way to the mall. I walk into Zara again and check out the long jackets. Contemplating if I should just buy one before I get to Toronto, would I even need to buy one? I mean I thought I've built my wardrobe to the extent that I don't really need to spend all that much money towards it anymore. I have what I can live off of for now. Thought I find myself looking at more lingerie. Can a girl have too many underwear and bras? Nice fancy sexy self feel good lingerie? I think to myself. I think girls buy it more for themselves then for Men. I mean I bought my first lingerie set during my split. to make myself feel good, wanted, sexy. I text Frankie baby that I'm on an incredible search for his hoody only to have him reply back to let me know he's ordered it online! I was so hoping to find the hoody for him today and surprise him if I did. I walk around metro with lan and we chat a bit about this and that as I shopped at Old Navy, I got a short v-neck T-shirt and long sleeve one. Went to go look at some puppies and went into some cute shops. I come home to have dad quickly tell me that he ran into the artist who runs the CCC Federation and says to me that I can't miss the opening of the art show this Saturday. My artwork has been chosen as one of the best entered? I won't know if this is true until the opening day. Is my return to the art scene a missed one? Is this going to be a really great artful return this year. I hope so. Frankie baby tells me as I get home that his problem at work has been resolved, that they caved cause well, he's good that way! LOL > he's a fighter =) we say our good nights and he thanks me. for trying to look for his hoody for him. Mmmm. I really don't know why he thanked me. I mean, I see what he does for me and I'm so thankful. To me it's like it's the least I can do to try to make him happy if I were to find it for him. To make him smile cause I really do like him. *sigh* I wonder to myself why I feel so different about him. Why my cheeks get warm at the thought of him sometimes and I have to bring my cold hands to my face to cool them down. I'm grateful to the series of events that somehow led our paths to cross again in this journey of life. I know God loves me. *SMILES*
I check up on youtube as i get home today to surprisingly find I've had 5 additional new subscribers. =)

I read a quote today from the 24 hours newspaper and loved it.
If you design your life properly you end up with a work of art_ 24hours_miki.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Work Work Stress

Yeah, Downtown has been hectic. It didn't help when the heater in my office busts and can't seem to stop! All the offices on our level had their doors opened due to this mishap and what do I get out of it... a fireball of a headache as I work in this weird warm office. Last night after work I come home and is told to make dinner.
I do the salmon thing again, no thank yous were received just complaints. I don't understand if that's all I'm going to get, why I'm told to do it in the first place. I mean they are basically watching over my shoulder as I do my best with the ingredients given. I mean, what do you expect me to do with slices of ham and salmon and butter and potato? Then I was given the onions after the fact I've wrapped everything already. Can I play a mom, even if I don't have children? < YES. If everyone else is going to act like children. I've neglected my motherly duties of cleaning after my brother, mother, father for about a week or so now. Yes I'm being selfish as my creative mind wanders and builds something from nothing.
I'm tired, have a headache and downtown work is going to get a little more heavy with lots of work coming in. The thing is with me. When I get time off, I relax to the max, but I'm designing and doing other things as well. I even work on my days off. But I like the work I work on on my days off.... LOL... ahhhh cause it's a passion.

Monday, November 02, 2009

YAY... November!

November First is here and 26 days left till I get on a plane of Toronto. The countdown in going down. Today I woke up at Lan's place. We had waffles for breakfast, and around noon we *cousin LX and Me and the sissy* clean up all the fallen leaves in her backyard. I once thought that I would like to adopt Joey dog but after picking up some of his big poops I would like to retract that statement. We head out soon after for home and then we *me and cousin LX* to the skytrain station, we head out to metro for some shopping. I look for my luggage again and a long jacket for T.O. Trip as cousin LX goes in search for clothing. I come home with two more pairs of tights and LX is happy with her finds. Luggage however, I'm still debating if I should borrow one from my parents or purchase my own and be more independent. The thing is there are lots of luggage pieces that fill up the closet of my parents closet.
The following sentence is to test my cousin's pronunciation. I've been doing it on our way to the mall. But this paragraph should help her out more with it. I dare her friends to try this back home.

Three trees are standing true throughout the forest. It's where the florist gathers flowers. There are thirty three thieves that are transparent, transporting illegal thunderbolts. Try to tie the tie to thy thighs and spice them with thyme. Think about your drink. Their theory of a thank tank are bound to throw out the thoughts and the true thesis on the trophy thumb. Therapy is soothing. Seven teens are turning seventeen. This is their seventeenth birthday not seventy. Cloth is used to make clothing. Bathe in the Bath with Baffin. I'm with him don't dis him. Get a whiff of this.