Sunday, November 22, 2009

Baby Shower =)

I went to my big sisters baby shower today. She's due in Jan. I will be an aunt, a real aunt soon. The excitement of that has yet to really really hit me. I guess I'm not worried cause my sister is going to be a great mom. I was really shy to mingle. Everyone else seemed to know someone else there in their little groups. It was funny how I walked in with a smile and a "HELLO" and people look at me like @_@, "who is she?" .  I almost burst out laughing when walked up to a large circle group of friends with a big smile and a HUGE wave hello. It's interesting to watch other people's reaction. I opened up just a little, but I kinda felt out of place. Alone really. Lan's (*my big sis*)  life is all focused on this baby cause she has to be. I'm focused on me. Thinking to myself that it's so great things are going so great for her. And then there's me. Working my way and building my foundation all over again. This time hopefully things will be more solid for me as I branch out stronger than before. I'm taking more chances, focusing more on ME. I just finished writing another song in the span of two three days. I don't know if it's the poet in me that's returning to full bloom. My artistic inspiration has yet though. I will be bringing my sketchbook with me to Toronto. Seeing if a change of surroundings will trigger a bit more change in the right direction.
I'm nervous to see Frankie, actually now it's more turned into excitement. I like him a little more after learning that he's into photography as well. *smirk* I'm starting to thank god a little more each day for him. For making me smile and most of all feel loved in some way again. He seems to bring back something that I haven't felt in a long time. It's not the feeling of something new. As in ... It's so fresh and exciting. No... it's not that feeling. More in the sense of ... This is how it should be like... *sigh* Does that even make sense? I'm trying to detach a little. Because these few up coming days are going to be a little hectic for me with work so I can't even focus too much on how I feel about going there. I tried to plan my days, I have locations all written out of where I want to visit. I'm almost fully packed. 80% to be honest, that's how much time I think I won't have this week to worry about getting ready for this trip. I'm thinking what I'm going to do for video of the week. Wondering if I'm going to be posting more while I'm in Toronto?  Do I want to go to Toronto Aquarium by myself? I also wonder... what's Frankie feeling... he's probably just as focused on his work as I am.
I'm going to be manning work alone again tomorrow. I got quite a busy couple days ahead of me. Time to focus and not let emotions get the best of me. November is said to be my power month. I need to make it so.
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