Friday, January 08, 2010

The Awkward Conversations

This nauseous thing lasting this long is a problem but thank God I feel SO much better today! But when talking about it to my boss, he was concerned and said I should go get checked out. Everyone else who I'm talking to is saying the same as well. I KNOW I NEED TO GET CHECKED OUT! I'm just really really scared at what the doctor has to tell me.

I'm going to admit something right now. My whole digestion thing and having problems is not new. I always have had stomach problems after I eat. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner. I can eat healthy meals for months on end and still get sick. I got tired of having upset stomach so much that I would start to skip meals and just have ONE meal a day on the really really lazy days. When I just stay in bed or work at home. I'd just have a Breludin. < Breludin is my word for ( Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner all in one ). Now a days I can't do Breludin's anymore. My stomach won't take it. Since losing all the weight, my body has less body fat to eat away at. I have been eating healthier and not skipping any meals. Still I'll have upset stomachs on some days and others I would be great. But since I've been really watching what I eat I have been ok, it's just been recently I started to get this sickly feeling again. I had this a couple months back. But this week it lasted the longest. But my upset stomach thing is so common with me, I've always been an easy one to get the tummy aches. I know this is not normal. Me not really knowing what is really wrong. Me Building the speculation of my secret. Pushes me to the extreme. I will get checked out soon, I know I have to, but believe me when I say I'm really really scared.

My mind has been in Do or Die mode ever since this blog started. Everyday I'm a different person, I push, I keep going cause I have to. That's why I'm so bold...bolder.
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